Page 27 of The Reality of Wanting Him (Love Without Labels #1)

LIAM

Producer: They’ve been in their room for awhile… think they made-up?

Second producer: We pulled audio from the rest of their apartment to make sure we had proof of life and didn’t need to intervene in a physical altercation… let’s just say, they definitely made-up.

I ’ve had sex before. I’ve even had good sex before. But nothing—truly nothing—has ever felt like that. That was officially the hottest sexual experience of my life, and it was only Blake’s first blowjob.

I don’t know what I expected when Blake dropped to his knees for me, but it sure as hell wasn’t that.

He wanted it so badly too, his eyes pleading like he needed me to tell him exactly what to do.

I might have acted mildly dominant before, but I didn’t know I had that in me.

It was the first time in my life I could truly take what I wanted without holding back, and I was only comfortable doing it because of how obvious he was about how much he was enjoying the experience .

I know our exchange was about a lot more than him convincing me that he actually wants to be with me, but I can’t deny it worked.

I feel like I finally channeled the hurt and frustration I was feeling—to let go of the worry and insecurities that drove me back to our apartment and away from the cameras in the first place.

The stress of tonight might have led us to fall into the roles of domination and submission in a way that we wouldn’t have otherwise, but I don’t think it will be a one-time thing.

I want it again, but I don’t just want to see Blake on his knees.

I want to put him there and watch as he does it without hesitation.

Maybe it’s the part of me my ex broke all those years ago that craves the validation of seeing his eyes go hazy as he hands over control—feeling a rush knowing he’s giving himself to me completely because he wants this as badly as I do.

I’ve never had this kind of power in a relationship before. I’ve always been the one who adjusts, the one who makes things easier for the other person.

But with Blake? I don’t want to be careful or hold back. I want to push him. I want to hear him beg for me. I want to take him apart piece by piece and watch him melt under my touch, my voice, my control.

And the craziest part is that he wants it too.

Maybe he’s so used to coasting through life, with everyone catering to his wants and needs, that he actually likes not getting to do that with me.

I can tell he enjoys it when I push him, when he has to be the one to put in the effort.

His eyes light up when I take the decisions out of his hands and show him exactly what I want.

He seemed so eager to earn my praise, to please me, to make me happy.

Has no one ever made him put effort into a relationship before?

I love being the one to bring out this side of him.

It’s fucking addictive.

Even though I’m vers and prefer to top, I’ve never been in a position where I wanted to completely take over. Even with guys I’ve dated in the past, things have always been balanced—give and take, back and forth, a shared dynamic where we each had moments of control.

But with Blake, I don’t want to share the control because he doesn’t want it.

I take a deep breath, forcing myself to come back to reality, because if I keep thinking about what just happened, I’m going to want another round with him already.

Blake is still leaning against me, his cheek nuzzled into my shoulder. When I nudge him slightly, he looks up at me with a completely sated expression. I need to get him in bed before I do something stupid.

“Was I good for you, Sir?” he asks, voice hoarse, low, teasing, full of the over-the-top innuendo he used in the kitchen when he first called me that.

Oh, fuck him .

My spent dick twitches at his taunt, despite the fact that I just came down his throat.

Obviously, I’m really into this power dynamic we’ve naturally fallen into.

He might think he’s being funny, but I also think there’s a big part of him that craves the validation and praise, and he only knows how to ask for it in a joking way.

I grit my teeth and reach down, threading my fingers through his hair, gripping just enough to tug his head back and make him look at me properly. He better never cut his hair.

“Careful,” I murmur. “You keep talking like that, and you’re gonna be right back on your knees before you even get a chance to recover.”

His smirk widens, the little shit. “Don’t tempt me with a good time.”

I will myself to get a grip as he waggles his eyebrows at me. He’s testing me, and I know better, so I shake my head and release my hold of his hair .

If he wants to push, I’ll show him how far it could go .

Even though I’m definitely not entertaining this idea tonight, part of me is curious to see his reaction, so I don’t stop myself from saying, “If we don’t stop now, I’m going to want to toss you face down on this bed and have my way with your other hole. ”

His breath hitches, and for a second, he actually seems surprised before a look I’ve never seen on his face takes over. His brows are furrowed like he’s nervous, but there’s also clear excitement in his eyes. “I?—”

“Nope,” I cut him off, even though every part of me is screaming to just give in to those instincts, to throw him around and ruin him. I won't do it. Not yet . “We’re going to sleep.”

He looks at me like I just told him his football game was canceled, dramatically huffing out a deep breath. “Fine,” he relents. “But I’m holding you to that.”

I shake my head as I huff out a laugh. I have a feeling my straight boy is going to become a needy bottom the first time I touch his hole. Taking a deep breath in an attempt to clear my head, I stand up first before pulling him to his feet.

“Are we done cuddling?” he asks, sounding disappointed.

“Do you need to be cuddled more, Blake?”

“Yeah, I think I do.” All the teasing is gone from his voice now, and I’m surprised when he softly adds, “I really like cuddling you, L.”

I squeeze his hands, unsure how to respond as I smile to myself.

I guide us to the bathroom, and after we get cleaned up and brush our teeth, we get into bed.

Blake hardly waits until I’m under the comforter to tangle himself around me like a damn octopus.

He puts his head on my shoulder and snuggles into me as he lets out a contented sigh, and I wrap an arm around him.

It’s quiet for a long moment, and I think he’s fallen asleep, but then barely above a whisper, I hear, “I really like you, Liam.”

My chest tightens and I swallow past the lump in my throat as I press a kiss to the top of his head. “I really like you, too, B,” I say, my voice just as quiet.

And then he’s out.

The rest of the week passes by in a blur of mutual blowjobs, cuddles, cooking, and forced hangouts with the other contestants.

Blake goes down on me like he’s starving every single time.

I return the favor whenever I can, learning exactly what earns the loudest moans or causes his fingers to tighten almost painfully in my hair.

He likes it when I tease him with my tongue before taking him deeper until I can swallow around him.

I love the way he groans my name when he comes, always sounding so needy and desperate for me.

We only leave the apartment when we’re forced to. How could I ever want to leave when I have Blake eagerly swallowing my cock at every opportunity?

But after the drama that unfolded during the first group session, the producers insist on scheduling more, claiming they want to “capture the dynamics between the couples” now that we’ve all met in person.

I’m not exactly thrilled, but at least it gives me an excuse to see Jace more and his partner, Kieran.

We’ve been sending each other memes and dumb texts and we hang out during the two additional group dates we have over the next four days.

Blake and I make it a point to avoid Rachel at all costs, even though the producers seem like they really want more interaction—holding us back to arrive at the same time, trying to have Blake sit next to her at a dinner.

They go so far as having our names on place cards at each seat.

Fuck that. I sit next to her instead and she’s all too happy to ignore me.

Not that she tries too hard to talk to Blake after that first night when he made it clear he wasn’t leaving me.

She seems to get the message and stops wasting her time trying to get her claws into him, but from what Blake told me about their interaction, I’m surprised she’s still here.

Things between Blake and I, though, are good. Really good.

Two nights ago, we found ourselves tangled up in bed, talking.

Blake was trailing his fingers over my chest, and I felt so settled by his now familiar touch.

He looked up at me and whispered, “I know when we met in person, you were worried about me freaking out about this being my first time with another man, that I would change my mind or something, so I want to remind you how serious I am about you—about us.”

I’m glad there aren’t cameras in our room for many reasons, but I’m particularly happy that I won’t have evidence of the stupid smile I’m sure was plastered on my face as I ran my fingers through his hair. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed without hesitation.

“I know the show is kind of a wild way to meet someone, but I don’t care.

This doesn’t feel fake. You don’t feel fake.

” He shifted, propping himself up on his elbow so he could look me in the eyes.

“I know I can be a dumbass sometimes, and I know I don’t always think before I act, so if something ever bothers you, tell me.

Please. I want this, Liam. You make me feel something I never have before. ”

It was in that moment, that I felt like we could really go all the way, and I let myself finally admit how much I want us to. “Okay.”

He gave me a small smile. “Good. ’Cause I don’t want to screw this up, I haven’t been this excited for the future in a long time.”

I didn’t know what to say to that—not in a way that didn’t make me sound completely gone for him—so I kissed him instead.

His words are still at the front of my mind.

I’ve never had a relationship where these conversations came so easily.

I’ve always felt like I was trying to bend to make someone else happy, but with Blake, we just fit.

We work for each other without either one of us having to change.

I push him and take control in bed, which he loves.

And he helps me relax and let out a more playful side of myself the rest of the time, which I love.

The time I’ve spent with Blake feels like everything I’ve ever wanted in a relationship.

He always finds his way to me at night, snuggling as close as humanly possible—and I’m surprised by how completely obsessed with his clinginess I’ve become.

I always thought a cuddly, needy partner would be a huge turnoff because of how much independence I’m used to, but with Blake, I want more. I don’t feel suffocated at all.

He’s still insisting I teach him how to cook. He seems genuinely interested in all our conversations and learning more about the farm. He’s curious about my life in a way no one ever has been before, and it’s so fucking easy to just exist with him.

I really like him.

Which is why the next phase of the experiment—the hometown visits—now feels like an even bigger deal than I’d originally thought they’d be. This is where reality is going to pop the bubble we’ve been living in.

This is when we see who we truly are outside of this show. And, more importantly, we’ll find out if Blake actually fits into my world.

If he actually wants to.

I’m terrified he’ll take one look at the work a farm actually requires and decide he prefers his easy life in the city.

I’m not sure my heart could handle that rejection, but as much as I wish we could stay here, away from the stresses of the real world, the show must go on. So we pack our bags and head to the airport. I’m just grateful Blake’s visit is first and we can put off my fears for a little longer.