Page 44 of The Reality of Wanting Him (Love Without Labels #1)

LIAM

Producer: It’s your wedding day. What’s going through your mind right now?

Liam: I think I’m still trying to process that this is real and it’s happening.

A few months ago, I didn’t ever think I’d be on a show like this, and I definitely didn’t think I’d be getting married to a man I fell for without seeing his face.

But here we are. I just want to get to the part where he’s mine and I’m his.

T oday is surreal. I haven’t seen some of my college friends in years, and to have them drop everything to come stand by my side on such short notice makes me realize that even though I might not see them as often as I’d like, I’m really lucky to have them.

Between them, John, Jace, and my dad, it’s obvious just how strong my support system really is.

I have a tendency to forget that with how much the farm consumes my time, but seeing them all here today, dressed up, joking around, it’s a nice reminder that some friends stick around no matter how much time has passed or how shitty I am at keeping in touch with them .

I’ve also been thinking about my mom a lot today. I know she’d be happy for me and Blake, and that she would love his excited, outgoing, happy-go-lucky personality. I can totally picture her telling me that she’s glad I found someone who’s so carefree when I’m always so stressed out about the farm.

Part of me still can’t believe we’re getting married today.

Maybe after the ceremony it will feel more real, or maybe I’m just really emotional today with all my people here, and so many thoughts of my mom, but I can’t deny there’s still that part of me that doesn’t fully believe this whole thing happened like it did.

Like who let me of all people be on a reality show?

I’m just a random farmer, and this all feels very glamorous compared to my normal life.

Looking back to the beginning of this show when Blake didn’t even make my top ten is even crazier to think about, but I’m so glad I told myself to keep an open mind.

Blake is everything I needed. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I can’t wait until all this fanfare is over so that we can get back to a more casual reality.

A soft knock on the door draws my attention to my dad walking in, and the camera man turns to face him.

“How’re you feeling today, son?”

I let out a breath and smile. “Good, I think. It doesn’t feel real, though. I can’t believe I found him only a few weeks ago, and in such a short time, we’ve made it here.”

My dad reaches a hand out and places it on my arm. “Your mom wouldn’t have thought it was crazy at all. She always said true love found you at the perfect moment, when you were both ready to receive it.”

“She would have loved him, wouldn’t she?”

“Absolutely,” my dad agrees with the biggest smile on his face. Then he turns to my friends. “You guys mind giving us a minute?”

They all nod their agreement and head out the door.

He turns back to me once he sees we’re alone, then he reaches inside his suit pocket and pulls out an envelope. “She wrote you one last letter. Wanted me to give it to you on your wedding day.”

I see the handwriting on the envelope and my throat is immediately tight as I fight back tears.

I never thought I’d see another letter after my twenty-first birthday.

I cherish every single one that my mom left for me, and knowing that she’s with me in this unexpected way today makes everything even more surreal.

My fingers shake as I reach out to take it from my dad, and I immediately pull him into a hug.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“She wanted to make sure she could still be here with you, no matter what.”

I nod my head into his shoulder, not wanting to let go.

“I love you.”

“Love you too, son. I’ll give you a minute,” he says when we break apart.

He claps me on the shoulder before walking out of the room, leaving me with the letter. I hold onto it for just a moment, tracing my name on the front where she’s written,

For Liam’s Wedding Day!

I steady myself, needing to take a deep breath because I know this will make me even more emotional than I already am. I’m just about to rip the adhesive on the back when I hear another knock at the door.

“Come in,” I call out, tucking the letter safely into my pocket, already feeling raw. I don’t want to be distracted when I read it.

The door swings open, and for a moment, I think it’s one of the other contestants.

In walks a woman who looks like she’s attending her own wedding in a sparkly white dress.

Her blonde hair is perfectly styled and her makeup is flawless.

But her hazel eyes that match Blake’s give her away, and I realize who she is before she even speaks.

“Hello, you must be Liam,” she says in greeting. “I’m Blake’s mother.”

“Hi, Mrs. Barclay,” I say, walking over to her.

Blake’s told me enough about his parents for me to know that she’s not the type to offer much warmth or affection, so I extend my hand instead of going for a hug, wanting to make a good first impression.

She takes my hand briefly and offers me what I can only describe as a condescending smile filled with pity.

She directs her attention to the camera person still in the room and asks them to give us a minute.

They politely excuse themselves, but I don’t think Blake’s mother is aware of the other cameras that have been set up to blend in throughout the room without needing anyone to operate them, and I’m not going to say anything.

That small ball of anxiety that’s been churning in my gut all morning suddenly grows in size as her expression immediately gives me a bad feeling about why she’s really here.

Then, with a smile I can tell she’s perfectly crafted, she says, “Listen, Liam. I’m sure you’re a nice young man and all, considering you were somehow able to convince my son he wants to marry you, but let me be clear about something.”

Fuuuuck. I don’t like where this is going.

“Blake is easily influenced,” she continues.

“He has no real direction in his life, so he just follows whatever path is laid out for him at any given time. We tried to push football when he was younger to give him a sense of purpose. It was clear he’d never have the brains for anything more difficult or productive, but he couldn’t even manage that.

It’s sad, really.” She sighs, like she’s actually pities her own son and isn’t sounding like a horrible parent right now.

“That’s why we gave him the marriage ultimatum.

We thought it would push him to finally take his relationships seriously, like his siblings have.

Then he’d have no choice but to make something of himself with a good wife by his side. ”

I’m sorry, did she just say… marriage ultimatum?

“Um, what ultimatum?” I choke out the word, sure I must have heard her wrong. Blake would have told me if anything like she was suggesting was true. Right?

She purses her lips. “Of course he didn’t tell you.”

I don’t say anything. Can’t say anything . Just wait for her to continue as I feel like my entire world is tilting off its axis.

“We told him he needed to be married by his thirtieth birthday, which as I’m sure you’re aware, is next month. Or we’d cut him off.”

My stomach plummets, that anxiety I was trying to ignore earlier seems so mild compared to the absolute panic level of dread and adrenaline now coursing through my veins.

I need to calm down, but despite the deep breaths I’m attempting, I can’t help but feel a sense of deja vu, like I’m back in that college dorm, walking in on my boyfriend hooking up with someone else.

Like the happy future I’ve built up is just in my head and the harsh reality is crashing down around me to reveal I’m just being used by someone yet again.

There’s no way he’s marrying me for money, though, right? He told me he loves me. He proposed to me first. He said he wanted to move to the farm and help my dad and me make it as great as we know it can be.

None of this is making any sense.

His mom is either unaware or unconcerned with the mental spiral she has set off inside me, continuing like this is a casual chat and not possibly the worst moment of my life.

“Now, he’s here, pulling this ‘I’m bisexual’ nonsense when he’s only ever dated women.

I know he was unhappy about the ultimatum, but I never thought he’d go this far just to spite us.

We told him we’d give him more time so he could find a wife.

” She sighs like this is so inconvenient for her to have to explain to me.

“It’s impressive, really, I didn’t think he had this level of commitment in him.

But he’s proved his point. It can end now. ”

My heart is racing at what feels like a very dangerous rate, and I’m distantly concerned that I might be about to throw up on this woman’s very expensive-looking dress.

I don’t want to believe he’d use me, but why would she make this up?

I know I need to call Blake, I need to hear his side of the story, but what if it’s all true?

I’m desperate for him to have some logical explanation for this, but what if there isn’t one?

God, why wouldn’t he just fucking tell me?

Is it because she’s telling me the truth? Has this whole thing been about money to him, am I just a pawn in this family's schemes? I don’t want to believe that.