Page 28 of The Reality of Wanting Him (Love Without Labels #1)

BLAKE

Producer: Are you worried about bringing Liam to meet anyone since you’ve never dated a man before?

Blake: Not really. I don’t see why anyone but me should care about the gender of the person I’m dating. And if they do? That says more about them than it does about me.

A s soon as the producers confirmed that we would be on the show, we had to submit ideas for our potential hometown visits.

They wanted a few options so they could choose the best filming locations and get everything set up, encouraging us to include as many friends or family members as possible to make the whole “getting married quickly” thing still feel real.

When I asked my parents to be a part of it, my mother laughed, saying, “There’s no way you’ll find a wife on a television show,” before she left the room.

My father was also dismissive about it. “I know you’ve been trying, son.

If it works out we’ll be sure to be in town for the wedding, but I’ve got a work trip that your mother is joining me on, and I couldn’t possibly reschedule. ”

So, of course, neither of them is here today.

Which leaves me with my friends. Don’t get me wrong, I love hanging out with them, and we always have a good time, but most of my friends are the kind of guys I go to a football game or a club with, places that involve more alcohol and entertainment than conversation.

I don’t think any of them are going to be truly homophobic, but I’m also a little worried that most of them will think I'm kidding when I tell them I’m planning to marry a man.

The last thing I want is anyone to laugh in Liam’s face because they don’t believe me, especially with a whole camera crew there as part of a reality show.

I’m terrified to embarrass Liam any further than I already have, even if it’s by way of my friends, so I’m really glad my initial hometown plan only involves me seeing Chad.

He was the one who told me about the show in the first place, so I think he’ll take me seriously when I explain everything to him.

Plus, he’s my best friend and the only one I actually spend quality time with one-on-one, so I know he’ll just want me to be happy.

I’ll tell him all about Liam, and he can back me up tonight in front of the rest of our group if anyone gives us a hard time, because there’s no way I’ll allow anyone to be a dick to Liam.

I don’t care who they are or how long I’ve known them. None of them matter more than Liam.

We all wake up super early to fly back to New York.

I’m pretty dead on my feet, and Liam teases me about not being cut out for farm work.

I know he’s only joking, but I’m worried that he actually thinks I won’t be able to handle it.

So, I chug a large coffee and make a point to not nap on the plane like I’d originally planned.

We spend the flight talking about the things we’ve missed the most about being away from home, mostly Lucky, and the time flies by.

Hanging out with Liam is always so fun and easy.

It’s not just that we’re both guys either.

I’ve never cared this much about making any of my friends laugh, and my heart has never raced because I made any of them smile.

Liam is special . I can’t wait for this next week when I finally get to see the farm and we can really start planning a future together.

This is the final week before the show expects us to get engaged.

Then we’ll all be meeting back at the hotel they’re hosting us at in NYC to start wedding planning.

They didn’t mention what would happen if you don’t end up engaged, but I think it’s pretty obvious that would mean you’ve broken up and your journey on the show is over.

Hopefully I won’t have to worry about that.

I’m positive I want to marry Liam. I don’t care that we’ve only known each other for a short amount of time, or that there’s a lot more physically for us to explore.

Judging by how much I love blowjobs, I’m sure I’ll love the more just as much.

Obviously, I came on to the show intending to get married, and that’s still my plan.

It no longer feels like an ultimatum requirement though, but the beginning of a future I never knew I wanted.

Once we arrive at the airport, there’s a bus waiting for us to bring us to the hotel the next phase of the show will be headquartered at.

One of the producers takes most of the bus ride to explain how the next week will go for each couple since some of us are from the city and others are further away.

I squeeze Liam’s hand, already dreading being away from him today.

He has to spend the morning doing interviews for the show while I get to meet up with Chad and tell him about Liam.

I’ve loved spending all my time with Liam over the last few days, and I’m worried I’m going to go through some sort of withdrawal if I can’t be cuddled up with him for hours.

I wish Liam could just be there with me.

I’m not worried about Chad’s reaction at all, and any time spent with Liam is better than being apart.

I’ve never wanted to spend this much time with any of my previous partners .

When we have to separate so Liam can go to his interview at the hotel, I give him a deep kiss, completely unbothered by who might be around. “I miss you already,” I say before pulling him into a tight hug.

“I’ll miss you too. Have fun with Chad and Lucky. Can’t wait to meet them later!”

We break apart, and I’m escorted to a cab to go to my apartment to meet Chad.

I ordered us lunch so he can bring Lucky back home.

I only got my phone back from the producers this morning, and they warned us not to give anything away off camera.

So I just confirmed the time for him to come over in a text, saying I’m excited to see him and update him on everything.

Now I’m anxiously pacing in my living room.

The show has a barebones crew assigned to follow me, but they asked me to try to forget they’re here.

Easier said than done. Finally, the door opens and Lucky runs in, jumping up with her front paws on my thighs, balancing on her back legs like she wants to give me a hug as her tail wags rapidly.

I kneel on the floor so I can properly hug her and pet her stomach when she drops down to roll onto her back, tongue hanging out of her mouth while she pants in excitement.

“Who’s a good girl?” I coo as I try to pet her all over, desperate to make up for the lost time we’ve had.

I know Chad took great care of her, but I missed her like crazy, and I don’t want her to think I left because of anything she did or because I don’t care about her.

“How’s my little princess? I missed you so much, my sweet girl. ”

“She was a perfect angel the whole time you were gone,” Chad says, reminding me that he’s here.

“Hey, man! It’s so great to see you,” I say, reluctantly getting up to lean in for one of those bro hugs that start as a handshake but turn into a quick back slap.

“You too! I can’t wait to hear all about the lucky lady you’ve convinced to date you,” he teases, and I’m really regretting following the producers’ instructions to not warn him.

Why am I so nervous when I know Chad will be cool?

I can’t seem to settle the nerves dancing around in my stomach.

I take a deep breath and decide to just put it all out there.

“So, I actually have a lot to tell you,” I start, and Chad raises his eyebrows, already looking amused. “Remember what you said when we were first talking about the show, when you asked me what would happen if I ended up choosing a guy?”

“You didn’t,” he says, eyes wide shining with amusement.

I give him my best smile, scrunching up my nose a little as I shrug. “Turns out, I shouldn’t have been so confident that I would know the gender of the person I was blindly dating.”

“So you chose a man? I fucking called it, bro, why would you want to talk to a girl if you could hangout with a dude!” He sounds far too proud of himself as he laughs.

“But wait, I thought they would only be filming this week if you were still dating someone?” His comment is casual, not sounding judgmental or negative; just curious.

“That’s accurate,” I confirm, nodding as I wait for the pieces to all fit together for him.

I don’t think it would be possible for his smile to be any bigger. “So, you’re actually dating a man? You’re going to get married?”

“Yeah.” I know I should say more but I can’t get anything else out, the nerves seeming to take over all of my ability to function as I wait for his response.

“And you want to? You’re happy about it?

You really like him?” he asks seriously, all of the previous amusement gone from his expression.

I appreciate that he isn’t bringing up my parent’s ultimatum in front of the cameras, but his concern for my feelings seems sincere, not like he’s worried about money.

“Yeah, I really am happy with him,” I admit, a small smile forcing its way onto my face despite my nerves. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. I want to marry him.”

“Congrats, man! I’m happy for you.” He only sounds excited by the idea, and I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I didn’t think he would be an asshole. Still, I guess this was my first coming-out moment, and I didn’t anticipate how scary it would actually be.

“Thanks.” I’m beaming at him now, and we both burst out laughing. “So, want to come ring shopping with me?” I ask when we finally settle down.

“Obviously. But first, I want to hear all about him. Holy shit, have you guys, you know?” he asks, pumping his eyebrows. He’s asking if we’ve fucked, but we’re being filmed so I’m not sure how much to admit.

I smirk, hoping to give a vague but still honest answer. “Turns out, consensual sex is always fun, it doesn’t matter what the gender of my partner is.”