Page 7 of The Reality of Wanting Him (Love Without Labels #1)

LIAM

Producer: Describe your ideal partner in three words.

Liam: Loyal, honest, kind.

“ I ’m honestly not sure what to do here,” I say aloud to my empty apartment.

“I just got the notification that I’m in BB’s top three.

” For some unknown reason . The producers reminded us in the notification to say as much of our reactions out loud as possible, so viewers know what we’re thinking.

“I don’t know how B possibly felt a connection when all they did was talk about football. ”

I really want to decline. I mean, how did they pick up on any chemistry between us when they dominated the whole conversation while I spiraled over how much they reminded me of my college relationship?

But I’ve told myself repeatedly that I wouldn’t say no to anyone who wanted to keep talking unless they were a walking red flag. While B stirred up some not-so-great emotions, I know it isn’t their fault. They’re not my ex.

“I came into this process promising to keep an open mind, and no matter how much my head is telling me they aren’t the one, I keep reminding myself first impressions aren’t everything,” I say, not feeling the urge to dive deep into my past relationship trauma on TV.

I’ve learned that lesson hundreds of times, and I feel like it’s a much better narrative to go into for the cameras.

I stare up at the message that’s projected on my screen as I pace back and forth in front of the TV.

“Personally, it can take me a bit longer to warm up to someone new. I’ve always been a little awkward around people I don’t know,” I admit.

It’s like I can’t quite figure out how to navigate the small talk without overthinking every word that comes out of my mouth.

Add cameras, producers, and the whole anonymity angle, and it’s like my social skills have decided to pack up and take a vacation.

I’m sure the others here are likely feeling the same way.

“I know that once I get past my initial awkwardness and start warming up to people, I usually like them more the longer I’m around them.

So maybe that’ll be the case with B,” I explain.

Maybe B has more to offer than just a passion for football.

Surely they have other hobbies. I try to remind myself that people aren’t one-dimensional.

B’s love for football could have just been the loudest part of their personality in that moment because it’s something they’re comfortable with.

Maybe I was more distracted thinking about my ex than I realized.

I take a deep breath. “No one is going to dive straight into the more intimate parts of themselves during a ten-minute speed date. I’m going to bet that football was drowning out the quieter pieces of B that actually matter,” I continue my debate for the cameras.

“If I’m being honest, my own interests—gardening, my chickens, my farm—might sound boring to someone else if they don’t get the bigger picture either. Maybe I didn’t give B enough credit, and I was too focused on how different we seemed with my disinterest in sports to see them for who they are. ”

Or maybe I’m overthinking all of this because I don’t want to be the guy who shuts someone down on a dating show without really giving them a chance, and I don’t want to hurt their feelings . That’s just as likely. But does the why of it all really matter?

I glance at the app notification again, debating.

B’s name sits there, bold and bright, next to ten others I actually do want to see again.

I had my list pulled up when his notification came through, giving me the chance to decide what I want to do here.

It won’t kick another person off my top ten, but I just can’t decide if it’s worth it.

I have to admit, today was exhausting, and we’re not done yet.

We can request dates with people during the afternoon and night too, so I need to perk up and make a decision.

I still haven’t made up my mind, and all I can think is maybe I’m being too harsh. Maybe there’s more to B than football. People can surprise you, and not always in a bad way.

Somehow, our three-hour break to decompress, look over our notes, pick our top ten, and make lunch is nearly over. Before I overthink it anymore, I decide. “I’ll give B another chance. Maybe they’ll surprise me,” I say with a shrug to the cameras.

Or maybe, I’ll just give the show really good ratings for how badly round two will go.

Either way, I’ll know I kept my promise to stay open to any and all possibilities.

I just got my matches back, and I’m feeling pretty good about it. I matched with six of the ten people I ranked in my top ten.

Plus BB.

I don’t really mind that four people didn’t match with me. The important thing is, I matched with my top three and that’s where I want to focus. Even if it doesn’t work out with them, I still have four other matches I’m excited to get to know.

Seven feels much more manageable to date than seventeen.

I’m still conflicted over how to feel about BB. I’ve tried to really think about it more, but I’m not sure how they felt any kind of connection. But maybe that’s part of the process —learning to slow down and accept that people can be different than you assume at first glance.

I scroll through the profiles of the people I matched with, mentally ticking off the ones I’m genuinely excited to chat with again.

There’s AP, who was surprisingly funny and quick-witted.

JR, who had this calming energy that made the whole conversation feel easy.

And RL, who talked about their love of photography in a way that made me feel like I was appreciating the world through their lens.

Maybe that’s what B was trying to do with football.

It just didn’t land the same way RL’s passion did.

With each profile I look at, I feel a little more hopeful about this whole process. Maybe this experiment isn’t so crazy after all. Maybe I really did already meet my future spouse.

I glance at the messaging app and wonder if I should make the first move messaging anyone or see who reaches out to me.

There are so many factors to consider, and I want to remain as true to myself as possible so I can find my person.

I don’t want to put on a show for the cameras and end up with someone who likes a fake version of myself.

I put my phone down and take a deep breath, mentally preparing to dive back in.

Seven matches. Seven chances to make a connection—or rule one out.

As much as I’m hesitant about it, I know I’ll end up talking to B again. It’s part of the experiment, right? To challenge myself and stay open, even when I’m nervous they’re not the one . If nothing else, I’ll know I gave it a fair shot, and I won’t leave here with any regrets.

And who knows? Maybe this time I’ll figure out what they saw in me that made them want to match in the first place.