Page 19 of The Reality of Wanting Him (Love Without Labels #1)

BLAKE

Producer: In past relationships, do you jump right in with physical affection, or wait and build up to it slowly?

Blake: Most of my past relationships have started physically. Can’t say many have progressed beyond that…

“ I can sleep on the couch if you actually want to stay tonight,” Liam offers, and I get why he’s hesitant.

I really should have tried to keep my reaction to him being a guy more to myself.

I just assumed he’d be a woman because that’s who I’ve dated in the past. But none of those relationships lasted more than a month…

hmm. Maybe this will be better. The thought of him spending the night on the couch doesn’t sit right with me, though.

If we’re trying to figure out if we can be in a relationship—and not just that, but be married —by the end of the month, I’m going to need to get over the fact that I’ve never been with a man and do it quickly.

We already have a connection, and what I feel for him is real.

It’s the strongest connection I’ve ever had with another person.

The best way to do that is to not tiptoe around each other.

I need to prove to him I’m still committed because all I’ve wanted as of recently is to have a real connection with someone—and he’s it.

I’m going to treat Liam like I would anyone else I was dating.

I’m not concerned about us sleeping together.

Okay, real talk, I’m a little concerned about the sex “sleeping together” aspect of things. But just sleeping? Chad and I have fallen asleep in the same bed before and it was no big deal. Plus, being that close all night can only help us become more comfortable together.

“Nah, fuck that. Sleep in here, we can share the bed,” I assure him.

Then I shut the door to make sure we’re alone.

When they had us pack, the producers mentioned the new apartment won’t have cameras in the bedroom to give us privacy.

They asked us to spend as much time as we could hanging out in the main living spaces so that the show could still get footage of the relationships building, but they’re not trying to film that kind of content.

“If you’re sure?” Liam asks slowly, sounding wholly unconvinced.

“I’m sure! Plus, I think it will be good for us to have a camera-free space together, right?” I offer what I hope is an encouraging smile his way, but he’s looking at me like I have two heads.

“So there’s nothing else you want to say to me, now that there aren’t cameras?” he asks, looking like he’s expecting me to add something.

“I’m sorry again. My reaction really was nothing personal, you’re a good-looking guy, you have to know that,” I say, gesturing toward him.

He’s still looking at me like I have two heads. “And you really want to sleep together?”

“Come on, it’s just a bed. It’ll be great. What side do you prefer? ”

“I’ll take this one,” he says, sitting on the edge closer to the door. “I usually sleep in my underwear, would you rather I wear sweats or a T-shirt?” he asks, still sounding confused that I’m not requesting separate sleeping arrangements or building a pillow wall in the middle of the bed.

“I don’t care what you wear. I usually sleep naked, but I’m assuming you don't want me to do that,” I tease as I plug my phone charger in on my side of our bed.

He isn’t looking my way, but the tips of his ears are red, so I think he might be blushing.

The thought of Liam blushing because he’s picturing my naked body makes me smile.

I definitely don’t hate it . I kind of want to tease him some more, but I don’t want to push my luck.

I wonder what he looks like naked?

“Yeah, probably best that you don’t,” he mutters. “I’m going to shower before bed, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” He grabs some of his stuff before heading into the en suite, and I unpack my suitcase, leaving him plenty of room for his things. I’m already such a good boyfriend. I really have to piss by the time I’m done, so I grab my toothbrush and head into the bathroom.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Liam yells when I open the door.

“Uh, I was going to pee and brush my teeth?” I say, meaning to answer confidently, but it ends up coming out like a question.

“While I’m in the shower?”

Shit, he sounds mad. How do I keep fucking this up? Maybe I’m not such a great boyfriend after all.

“Um, yeah. Is that not okay?” I ask, genuinely confused.

“We’re both guys, it's not anything we haven't seen before. I honestly didn’t think anything of coming in,” I explain.

The shower even has a frosted door—not that I knew that coming in here—so it's not like I can see more than the blur of him.

“Well, I would prefer some privacy while I’m in the bathroom. Thanks,” he spits out .

“Sorry.” I quickly leave, and go out to see if there’s another bathroom in the main living space.

I hadn’t noticed it earlier, but I do find one.

When I get back to our room, he still isn’t done.

I showered before our final date earlier, so I throw on a pair of my boxer briefs and sit on the bed to wait for him, ready to apologize yet again.

I can’t believe it was only today that I was so worried about LM not choosing me, and now, I’m living with him .

At this rate, though, I won’t be surprised if I wake up to find he’s snuck out in the middle of the night—done with me before our first full day together.

Maybe I really am a shit boyfriend. No wonder all my relationships barely begin before they get tired of me.

As soon as he walks into the room, I launch into my apology without giving him time to speak.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t notice the other bathroom earlier, and I’ve been in so many locker rooms over the years, I honestly didn’t think twice about there being a privacy issue.

Please don’t leave.” It all comes out in one long breath.

Hopefully he understands my rant and I didn’t say it too quickly.

He’s standing still, frozen by the door, staring at me, and it takes me a moment to realize he’s checking out my naked chest. I automatically sit up straighter and flex, trying to impress him.

Huh, do I normally try to show off for men?

Probably. I work too hard to look like I do to not let everyone appreciate it.

“Locker rooms?” he finally asks, sounding unamused as he meets my gaze. He’s slowly rounding the bed toward his side, which I take as a good sign that he isn’t immediately leaving.

“Yeah, I couldn’t tell you before because it would give away my gender, but I played football for most of my life.”

“Of course you did.” I swear I can hear the eye roll in his tone. “It’s fine. It’s been a long day, let's just get some sleep.”

“Okay,” I say, getting under the covers as he turns off the light. Once we’re both settled, facing away from each other, I feel like there’s still awkward tension. “Hey, Liam? Thanks for giving me a chance,” I whisper.

Finally. My dick is rock-hard as the pretty brunette on their knees in front of me wraps their lips around the head and sucks.

It’s been so fucking long since I’ve gotten any action.

I can’t remember the last time I got off with another person and not my right hand.

I can’t stop my hips from jerking forward, chasing more of this feeling.

They let out a deep moan in response to my obvious desperation, and I close my eyes, tipping my head back as pleasure overwhelms my senses.

I thread my fingers through their hair—hair that is much shorter than I realized.

That’s strange.

I open my eyes and look down into the familiar bright blue gaze of the person with their lips wrapped around my cock.

Liam.

I jolt awake from my dream to find I’m spooning Liam in our bed, my very obvious erection digging into his ass. I should probably be more embarrassed or worried about Liam’s reaction, but all I can focus on is how great this is.

“L, guess what?” I whisper, moving back so that we aren’t tangled together as I gently nudge him.

“Hmm?” he hums, seemingly already awake.

“I just had a sex dream about you,” I tell him excitedly.

“What?” he asks, surprisingly alert as he rolls over to look at me.

“I had a sex dream about you and woke up super hard, isn’t that great?” His brow is furrowed and he’s still looking at me like I’m speaking a language he doesn’t understand.

“It’s great?” he echoes the question, obviously not following me.

“Well, as you know, I haven’t been with another man before, and to be honest, I was a little nervous about the physical aspect of that, but obviously I’m attracted to you on top of the emotional connection we’ve already been building.”

I pause trying to find the right words. I want to tell him that once I caught up to the reality that LM is Liam—a man—it’d be easy enough for me to get on board.

I’ve always been a go-with-the-flow person, and we do have a strong emotional connection, which has been the thing that’s been missing from all my other relationships.

I really don’t care that he’s a man, I just haven’t ever considered dating one before.

“I’m not scared of figuring this out,” I say. “Not if you’re the one I’m in a relationship with.”

“Well, I’m glad you think that’s a positive thing and you’re not freaking out…” he trails off as he shakes his head and runs his hands through his short hair. I wonder if it’s as soft as it felt in my dream. “I’m going to go start breakfast.”

He heads out of our room, shutting the door behind him.

I can’t stop thinking about my dream, and what it would really be like to be with Liam like that.

Fuuuck, I can’t remember the last time I was this turned on.

My cock is still aching by the time I get out of bed, so I take a quick shower to rub one out.

I don’t know if I should feel guilty or excited about it, but I can’t help but picture Liam as I do.

As I’m getting dressed, the smell of bacon overwhelms me and I practically skip out of our room to see how much Liam made. I hope I’ll get to experience his cooking firsthand now that we live together.

“Fuck, that smells amazing. Is there enough for me?” I ask, stepping right up behind him and placing a hand on his hip to steady myself as I look over his shoulder at the sizzling pan.

“Shit, you scared me,” he says with a jolt.

“Sorry,” I say, stepping back as I open cabinets until I find plates and silverware for us.

Unless he’s planning to eat a ton of food by himself, it looks like he made us both breakfast. My heart feels a little lighter in my chest at the realization that he might not have given up on me yet.

“Any cream or sugar for that coffee?” I ask as I set the table.

“Just cream.”

I get that out too and pour us each a cup, placing them on the table with the cream since I don’t know how much he likes yet.

When he brings the food over, he’s eyeing the table suspiciously. “I thought you said you were bad at little things in relationships?” he accuses.

I eye the coffee and plates I grabbed. “I’m bad at small romantic gestures, not basic human decency,” I offer him a small smile, still unsure where we stand.

“I just figured that the rich city boy might be used to being served and waited on,” he teases back, making me fully smile.

Holy shit, is this flirting? The fluttering nervous feeling in my stomach certainly seems to think so.

Obviously I liked talking to LM before we met.

But now, having met Liam, spending time with him and acknowledging how nervous and excited I am around him, it's clear that his gender isn’t affecting those feelings.

“Thanks for making me breakfast,” I say earnestly. “This is nice—eating together. Way better than you trying to teach me how to cook over the phone with those robot voices.”

He laughs, a warm sound that makes my stomach flip all over again.