Page 45 of The Reality of Wanting Him (Love Without Labels #1)

But then I remember his vague comments about his parents being sick of him not holding down a real job, about him only having to start thinking about money recently.

Of how quickly he jumped from calling himself straight to wanting to be with me.

My stomach clenches as a message he sent me way back in the beginning, before we’d even met, is suddenly clear as day in my mind.

We were talking about what we’d do with the prize money if we finished the show, and he’d said he would “just be happy to leave the show married” and that his “new spouse can decide what they want to do with it.” Is that because he knew keeping his parents’ money would be worth more than the prize money anyway?

Because at the end of the day, the only thing he cared about was getting married?

“I’ll make this easy for you to understand,” his mother continues in a smooth, practiced voice that I now absolutely hate.

“If you marry Blake today, we will cut him off. He needs a wife who can give him children, not some buddy to hang out with and continue the same aimless life he’s been leading for years.

And as you know, Blake has no skills, nor work experience. He has no drive.”

A part of me wants to defend him, say that isn’t true, but I don’t know what to think anymore, so I’m still stunned into silence as she goes on.

“I’m sorry that you got caught up in all this.

But if Blake lying to you about his motives isn’t enough to make you want to end things, if he’s somehow truly convinced you to care for him, then I’d like to be perfectly clear that you two staying together will only hurt you both.

He doesn’t really love you, the only thing he’s ever cared about in his life is his dog.

Whatever he’s said to you has been about keeping his money.

He’ll change his tune when he suddenly has nothing, and if you go through with this, that’s exactly what he’ll have.

Nothing. His life as he knows it is over, understand?

You’ll be stuck in a marriage with someone who doesn’t actually want to be with you. ”

She looks at me expectantly, like she’s waiting for me to respond.

I stand there frozen, her words spinning in a loop in my head as the room begins to feel like it’s shrinking. I want Blake, I want him so badly. I love him. I want to marry him. But was any of it real? And even if it was, can I cost him everything?

Even if everything about him lying to me isn’t real, there’s no way I can support him the way he’s used to.

The farm barely scrapes by as it is. There’s no wealth, and I’ve seen the way Blake lives.

Even when we’ve talked about the farm, and he seemed excited, it was about wanting to upgrade things.

What if we can’t afford to do that? Could he handle the kind of lifestyle that having almost no money leads to?

She clears her throat, giving me a pointed look.

“Does Blake know you’re here? Know that you’re saying this to me?” I manage to choke out.

Her expression doesn’t change and I know there’s no way she’s going to give me an answer.

She doesn’t care about me or my feelings, she just wants me gone.

I still don’t know what to believe about Blake, but I truly can’t comprehend the type of mother who would sacrifice her own son’s chance at happiness just for her own ego. And why? Because I’m a man?

I have a long list of insults I would like to use to label this woman. But I can’t even focus on that as my thoughts keep going back to Blake.

What if this wasn’t real?

What if everything I thought we were building was just… a convenient way for him to keep his wealth?

What if he chose me because he had no other option?

Was he going to marry someone, anyone from the show, no matter what?

Has his real search for happiness been about the money all along?

The weight of all my past insecurities comes rushing back in full force. The feeling of not being enough. Of being someone’s second choice, of being the backup plan.

Now, of being the mark to manipulate in the name of money.

Clearly this conversation is over, so I walk past her, needing to find Blake.

I need him to tell me this isn’t true. That there was no ultimatum that led to him deciding to be with a man for the first time instead of just ending it when we met.

When I make it to his room at the end of the hall, I push the door open and he instantly smiles when he sees me. That fucking smile. He’s already in his tux, and he looks like my biggest fantasy.

But I can’t let him distract me, I need to ask. Need to know.

“Hey, babe, what are you?—”

I don’t let him finish. I can’t get sucked in by his disarming smile and cheery tone. I need to ignore his charm. I need to get this out. “Did your parents give you an ultimatum? That you had to get married by thirty or they’d cut you off?”

He stills.

Completely freezes.

And I have my answer .

I need him to deny it. To immediately say, “no, of course not,” but the way he’s looking at me, completely shocked, guilt shining in his eyes, he might as well have ripped my heart out and stomped on it.

“Liam, just—just let me explain?—”

“Did they?” I bite out.

Blake exhales like he’s trying to delay the inevitable. “Well, technically, but?—”

I can’t do this. If he says anything else, I can’t hear it above the static in my head, the swarm of emotions of shock and anger and hurt that flood my system .

I can’t believe I was about to marry someone who only agreed in the first place because it’s what he thought would be the easiest way to get money.

“I can’t do this,” I barely manage to say above a whisper. Blake’s eyes widen in panic, but I don’t let him speak. “I can’t, Blake. I can’t do this right now. This is a huge bomb to drop on me on our wedding day.”

The cameras are pointed at us, and I need to get away from them. I can’t take the scrutiny for a second longer. I already feel like an idiot, I won’t let them draw this out and make it even more embarrassing.

Blake moves forward to reach out to me, but I step back. “Please, don’t,” I plead. “I just… I need to go.”

“Go where?” His voice sounds panicked too. But is he upset that I’m leaving? Or does he think he’ll lose his money if I do? Little does he know the new twist his mom just threw in there—that if I do marry him, he’ll lose it all anyway.

Was he just never going to tell me? What was his plan in all of this?

Marry me, get the money, pretend to be happy on my family’s farm just long enough to serve me divorce papers and cash out?

Stay until he could run back to his fancy condo in the city where he could laugh about it with his friends?

“Remember that one time I married a guy to prove to my parents that they shouldn’t cut me off? Ha-ha, so fucking funny . ”

Blake looks so upset, and I want to believe it’s at the idea of losing me, but this has all been too much to process at once, and I know that there’s no way I’ll be able to calm down enough to rationally make any major life decisions anytime soon.

Like getting married. I need to get away from all of this right now and get some fucking air.

I shake my head. “I don’t know. I just know that I can’t marry you today. I can’t say yes to someone who doesn’t choose me for me with no ulterior motive.” I wipe the tears from my eyes, knowing that I’m about to leave here unmarried today. “I just wish you told me.”

Before he can say anything else, I walk out of his room. Then I practically run out of the hotel and into the street. I need to get away from those fucking cameras, I need space to breathe before I figure out what the fuck I’m supposed to do now.