Page 3 of The Reality of Wanting Him (Love Without Labels #1)

LIAM

I can’t believe I’m doing this . If my mom could see me now, she’d be beside herself. I was always the shy, reserved one in the group and never felt the need to be the center of attention, so to actively apply to go on a dating show for the whole world to see seems insane even to me.

I don’t even post on social media, which I guess needs to change as part of the show’s rules.

They say the viewers love learning more about the contestant’s lives and want to know what happens after the show actually airs.

The concept seems a little silly to me, but then again, I’m the one who signed up for Love Without Labels— filmed the application video, answered way too many personal questions, and even did multiple interviews with producers.

I knew my entire life was going to be put on blast for keyboard warriors to criticize and judge, but I try not to think about that and focus on what I’m really here for: finding my person.

I know as soon as I get there, I’ll need to film my introduction video that they’ll use in show promos and the first episode.

That has me more nervous than I was during the entire application process, probably because I never really thought I’d get picked.

Even though, deep down, I wanted it. I also didn’t want to let myself get too hopeful or invested either.

As a small-town farm boy, I don’t exactly scream reality-show material .

But now that it’s actually happening, I feel completely unprepared.

Despite it consuming my every waking thought, I still have no idea what to say.

They told me to prepare some basic things: a one-liner about what I’m looking for in my forever person, a hidden talent of mine, and why I think I would make a great husband.

Based on the other reality shows that I’ve been studying in an attempt to prepare myself, I know most people go for something bold or funny, maybe trying to win the favor of the audience or producers, but I want to take this seriously.

I really want to be married by the end of filming.

This feels like my last chance at finding a relationship, and I know that may sound a little dramatic for a twenty-eight-year-old to say. But I’ve tried everything else. Maybe I’m just destined to be single and marriage isn’t for me.

My last “serious” relationship was in college, and it turned out to be not that serious to my boyfriend since he was cheating on his girlfriend from high school the entire time with me.

I found out when I tried to surprise him with dinner while he claimed to be studying and found them in bed together.

I was completely blindsided, heartbroken, and fucking pissed off for a long time.

I’ve struggled with really trusting people since then, but eventually I decided to try dating again.

I’ve tried all the apps. Despite my best efforts at wit, charm, and genuine conversation, nine times out of ten, they just completely fizzled out.

We’ll go on a first date, both say how great a time we had, and text each other about meeting up again.

Sometimes, it works out for two to three dates, and then it’s just… over. Every time.

The very rare times that it progressed beyond the initial first few weeks, it turned into a situationship where, as soon as the words, “So, what are we?” were muttered, everything came to a screeching halt.

Even when they claim to be looking for a relationship in their profile, it’s like our generation is terrified of commitment.

How is it that we’re all glued to our devices but have no clue how to communicate?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a prude. I’ve enjoyed my fair share of hookups in the past, but lately, they’ve been leaving me feeling empty. I’m chasing connection, and all I’m left with is the reminder that I’m still alone. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even want to hook up anymore.

I absolutely want more, but finding someone to have that with has felt impossible.

I feel like Love Without Labels is the perfect next step for me because everyone there is actively looking to get married.

At least, I hope they are. I don’t know how seriously people take these shows, but since this is season one, I feel like the applicants are more focused on the concept and less concerned with becoming famous.

I want someone to settle down with, someone who will stand by my side as I take over my family’s farm and help me turn it into our future.

Right now, it’s just my dad and me running it.

We’ve been doing it together my entire life, and he’s ready to retire and move on from such demanding work.

He’s done so much for me over the years, and I want to give him an easy retirement where he knows I’m happy and that his life’s work is in good hands.

We have a small farm that’s a little over twenty acres.

He has his own house on the land, where I grew up, and when I graduated college, we built a house for me on the opposite side of the property, giving us each some privacy.

We have three acres dedicated to produce, which we sell locally, and we also raise chickens for fresh eggs.

Our farm’s been successful enough to keep us both afloat and our bills paid, but neither one of us is rich with this lifestyle.

My dad did his best, especially when I went away to college, but it’s been nearly impossible to expand the way we’ve always dreamed of.

I have endless ideas—I just don’t have the finances to make the improvements we’d like to.

I’ve always wanted to find a partner to settle down with who cares about the farm as much as I do, who could see its potential and share my dream.

But with it being my dad’s last year working, I know the time to find someone is now.

I have no idea how I could ever have the time to date someone new while also taking over all of the farm’s responsibilities.

Besides the fact that this show feels like my last shot, I love the concept.

The anonymity of not even knowing the person’s gender is so unique, and honestly, exciting to me.

Growing up, I was fairly confident that I was bisexual, but it wasn’t something I could explore in my small hometown in upstate New York with its microscopic dating pool and everyone knowing everyone else’s business.

When I left for college two hours away, it felt like a fresh start.

At one of my first parties, a cute guy came up to me, and for the first time, I didn’t hesitate to flirt back.

I wanted to know if my curiosity was just that or if there was more to it.

We didn’t do much—just exchanged handjobs in the bathroom—but it was enough for me to know, without a doubt, that I’m bisexual.

When I came home for Christmas break that year, I came out to my dad.

I was nervous, but he was everything I hoped he’d be—completely supportive.

I still remember his words. “As long as you’re happy, with someone who treats you well, and you’re living your life authentically, I’m the happiest and proudest dad in the world.

” It hit me so hard, I couldn’t help tearing up.

Which is why I shouldn’t hesitate to tell him that I found out I was cast for the show today.

My feelings are all over the place. I’m thrilled at the chance to find someone who truly gets me, someone who could maybe even love the farm as much as I do.

But there’s also the practical side of things.

My biggest worry is leaving my dad to handle everything on his own while I’m away.

Thankfully, it’s winter so there isn’t much to do, which is why I didn’t hesitate to apply, but we still have chickens that need us every day.

I walk the field over to his house and see him sitting on his front porch with a mug in his hand. I know he’ll be completely supportive of me going on the show and tell me not to worry, but I will. It’s just who I am.

“Hey, Dad. Got a minute?” I ask, sitting down next to him.

“For you, always,” he replies with a smile.

I take a deep breath. I know it’ll be okay, but I still fear I’m letting him down or putting too much pressure on him. “You know that dating show I applied for?”

“Yeah. The anonymous one where you don’t know who you’re falling for?” He chuckles.

“That’s the one, and well… I got accepted,” I force out, holding my breath for his reaction.

“Really? That’s great news, Liam! I’m so happy for you,” he responds, sounding genuinely excited for me, just like I knew he would.

“Thanks.” I smile shyly, wishing I didn’t have to tell him the next part.

“There’s just one thing: I’ll have to be away from the farm for a while to film.

I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone, I guess it depends on if I continue the process with someone after the blind dating portion or not.

I’ve got a couple pieces of furniture almost ready; I’ll make sure I sell those before I go so you can have the cash. ”

“I appreciate you considering me, but this is a big opportunity for you, and I’d never stand in the way of that,” Dad insists.

He’s always so supportive. I don’t know what I did to deserve a father like him.

“I know you want this, and I want you to have it without stressing about me and the farm. It’s winter.

There’s not much to do right now anyway.

And I’m sure I can hire some extra help while you’re gone if I find myself needing it, but there’s not much to do this time of year. ”

“I know, but hiring help adds up quickly,” I respond, completely ignoring the part about him not wanting me to worry. I can’t help it. “We’ve always made it work, but I hate the idea of putting more on you.”

He reaches over and puts a hand on my shoulder.

“Listen to me, Liam. You’ve spent your whole life working hard for this farm and this family.

If this show is what you want to do, then it’s worth it.

If you want to find a partner, I want you to prioritize that.

Don’t worry about me; I’ll be fine. We’ll manage. We always do.”

Hearing his reassurance slightly eases the worry in my chest. “Thanks, Dad. I promise I’ll make it count. I really do want to find my person.”

“I know you will,” he says, smiling back at me. “And who knows, maybe you’ll bring back someone who can wrangle the chickens and keep up with you out in the fields. Maybe even work on that list of expansion ideas.”

I find myself letting out a laugh. “Here’s hoping.”