Page 8 of The Reality of Wanting Him (Love Without Labels #1)

BLAKE

Producer: Describe your ideal partner.

Blake: Um, I’m not sure… I’ve never had a specific type before. That’s why I wasn’t worried about coming on this show—hair color, height, curves, doesn’t matter. I’ve never had a preference.

“ F ive fucking matches? That’s it?” I question out loud, because seriously, what the fuck.

I should have ten. “Why wouldn’t people want to keep talking to me?

I’m a cool guy,” I insist, talking to the cameras.

I’m sure they’ll use this footage, and I don’t want to come across like a completely conceited asshole, so I try to spin my reaction with some humor.

I turn to where there’s obviously a camera built into the wall above the television and look straight at it.

“You guys like me, right?” I ask with a pleading smile, shrugging my shoulders.

Fuck . I seriously need to focus though. I’m counting on walking away from this show as a married man. I can’t get kicked off because no one likes me on day fucking one. Deep breaths, remember what your coaches always told you. You can’t win if your head isn’t in the game .

I just need to concentrate on building connections with everyone who’s left. The person I’m going to marry is on this list, and it doesn’t matter how many other people didn’t want to keep talking to me—because they did, and that’s who I’m meant for.

I force a more relaxed smile on my face as I compare the initials that are on my screen with my notes.

“My top three all matched, so that’s awesome,” I say as I confirm them.

“I definitely want to continue exploring my connection with everyone on this list. There’s no use waiting around for them to make the first move.

I’ll send them all a message, so they know I’m interested,” I narrate as I open the message app.

Not to brag, but I feel like I’m really nailing this reality TV contestant thing.

I send the same message to everyone:

BB

Hey! I’m so glad that we both recognized the potential in this connection. I would love to set up another date if you’re interested or to keep chatting here if you would prefer that first.

We have the option to send an invite link where they can see our availability to schedule a date. It’s super convenient so that you don’t need to ever tell someone you’re booked with another date when they want to meet. These producers really thought of everything.

I send all five of them an invite with my message so that they can schedule something that works for them. RR responds to my message almost immediately.

RR

Hey B! I’m so glad that you felt our connection too! I scheduled another date. See you soon xoxo

Now that’s the kind of response I’m hoping for from everyone! I’m glad that I wasn’t completely off-base assuming people would want to talk to me. MW, JH, and TS also respond fairly quickly confirming dates for tonight or early tomorrow.

After about thirty minutes, I realize that not everyone has replied.

“LM hasn’t responded,” I say out loud as I check my calendar to see if they scheduled something without sending a message.

But nope. I pull up my message to make sure it sent and see that it was read almost immediately after I sent it.

That’s weird. “ If we matched, I’m assuming they want to keep talking,” I say.

Why would they ignore me? “ Maybe they got caught up in a conversation with someone else and plan to respond later,” I think aloud.

I don’t like waiting around, though, picturing them bonding with someone else. I also have a date scheduled in about fifteen minutes so I don’t delay. “I’ll send another message and pull their attention back to me,” I tell the camera.

BB

Already change your mind about me?

I can see them read the message and am on the edge of my seat, waiting for a reply. They sure are taking their time. Fuck, did they actually change their mind? I was going for teasing, but maybe they think that was pushy.

BB

Sorry, I meant that in a flirty teasing way, but now I’m worried you think I was trying to pressure you into something you don’t want to do.

My leg is bouncing up and down as I see the indicator that they’re typing. Did I already fuck this up? How am I so bad at dating?

LM

I read it as teasing, don’t worry. Sorry I hadn’t responded. Today has been a lot and I’m trying to mentally prepare myself for more of it before I schedule anything else.

That’s cool . “I’m glad I didn’t mess this up already,” I say after reading their text aloud. “And I’m glad that they’re being so honest right off the bat and not pushing themself to do something that they aren’t up for.”

BB

Well I definitely don’t want you to overextend yourself.

It has been a crazy-busy day. Thank you for being so honest with me.

If the dates are too much right now, I’d love to keep chatting here when you’re free.

But if you need the night off, I totally get that too.

I have to go for a bit, but I hope that the rest of your evening goes well and we can talk soon.

I go straight to my scheduled date instead of sitting around anxiously waiting to see if LM responds. I hope they do, because their message definitely sparked my interest. It felt like the most genuine moment of this experience so far, and I want more of that.

Going into this second round, I need to figure out what went wrong in the first place to only have five matches, and change my ways quickly.

None of the dates in the first round were the same, of course, but looking back I realize I did a lot of the talking.

I tend to do that when I’m excited, and don’t always recognize when it’s my turn to shut up, so I want to make a conscious effort to be an active listener as much as I can during this next round.

Letting the other person talk should also help me figure out who I vibe with the most, so it’s a win-win.

I try to focus on the dates for the next few hours.

These are a bit longer than the first round—thirty minutes—and the show provides flash cards full of label-free icebreaker questions for us to use if needed.

I answer the questions that my dates ask me, but I try to not monopolize as much of the time, and to really listen to what they’re saying.

My date with RR definitely seems like the easiest of the three I have tonight.

They have no trouble filling the silence, but also didn’t interrupt me when it’s my turn to talk.

I wouldn’t say that we necessarily have a ton of interests in common, but based on some of their stories and the places they mention, it’s fairly obvious that they’re also from a well-off family.

We’re also both from the city which gives us a lot to talk about, and the time is over quickly.

The whole time I’m in these dates, though, I can’t stop the nagging questions in the back of my mind from drawing my attention. Did LM respond? Will they want to talk to me again?

When the dates are over and I finally get to hang out in the living room, I don’t even pretend to play it cool. I get comfortable on the couch and immediately pull up the messaging app to check for a response.

LM

I scheduled a date for tomorrow. Thanks for being so understanding.

“Fuck yes!” I say pumping my fist and doing a little happy dance.

“Oh shit, are we allowed to swear? I definitely should have asked that sooner,” I say as I throw an apologetic look to the camera above the TV.

I like pretending that’s where the audience is to entertain myself.

I think I’m already going a little stir-crazy without dog cuddles or interactions with other people face-to-face.

“Sorry, I’m just excited that LM scheduled a date,” I explain with a shrug.

BB

Can’t wait !

I don’t want to be too pushy with anyone, so I hold off on sending any more messages after I respond to LM.

I spend some time preparing an actual dinner, and then when I’m still too hyped up from the day to go to bed, I do another bodyweight workout.

I saw an option to schedule gym time on the calendar so that no one else is there at the same time, and I definitely plan to take advantage of that option, but for now this will do.

When I’ve finally worked off some energy, I take a shower and get ready for bed.

The entire time, I’m tempted to send another message to LM.

Maybe ask them how the rest of their night went, or reassure them that they aren’t alone in feeling a bit overwhelmed by this whole process.

But I hold off. They already seemed a little more hesitant than my other matches and I don’t want to scare them off yet.

I’m really glad they scheduled a date though.