Page 48 of Surviving Slater

Our tongues swirled together, his hands gripping my body tighter. I placed my hands on his face as he deepened the kiss.

So lost in the moment and the chemistry between us, I didn't notice him unhook my bra until it slackened.

I smiled against his lips. Pulling away, I dropped the bra to the floor. His eyes took in my nakedness. The way he looked at me made me feel empowered and beautiful.

"Your turn," I whispered, reaching for his shirt. He pulled it over his head. My eyes swept over his cut six-pack. I couldn't resist the urge to run my hands over them, feeling the hardness of his muscles.

I proceeded to his jeans and began unbuttoning them. They dropped and he kicked them off.

I groaned as his lips skimmed my neck. His tongue trailed down the side of my neck with a scrape of his teeth and I grabbed his arms, giving in to the rush of want. His teeth grazed gently into my earlobe. When he pulled away he smiled knowingly at me. Like he knew how to play me note for note.

He walked me to the bed and lay me down. I could feel myself feeling less comfortable despite my physical response to him.

I looked down as he pulled at my panties and slid them down. I felt like I was on fire and about to combust. I closed my eyes briefly. My breath was erratic as once again I tried to stave off the memories. One breath in and I held it for a few moments before I released it.

I felt the touch and warmth of his body as it covered me. I opened my eyes as his mouth covered mine. My body fit against his and I wanted to put my arms around him to keep him closer, but I couldn't. I was battling my inner demons and losing.

"Jordan," Slater murmured as our eyes met, "stay with me." I wanted to but I didn't know how. I'd been hiding for so long I didn't know how to step out into the open and reveal myself.

"I'm here," I said, pressing my lips to his to distract him.

Just do it, I begged inside my mind.

His hips pressed against mine. I could feel myself slipping into the safe place, when Slater stilled.

"What's wrong?" I asked, needing him to finish what we'd started.

"You're doing it again," he said softly, his eyes searching mine.

I bit my lip, feeling caught off guard.

"Stay here with me," he said again, and I felt something unlatch in my heart. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No," I murmured, shaking my head slightly.

Feeling lost without an anchor, I gripped his arms.

He entered me and I gasped, struggling to stay in the moment. I didn't want to face the dark and evil memories, but I couldn't slip away into my safe place. My eyes held his.

There was no more hiding. His lips touched mine as he began to move inside me. Pressing into me, filling me completely. I squeezed my eyes closed as feelings I'd been hiding for so long unraveled, leaving me open and exposed for everyone to see.

"Open your eyes," Slater instructed, and I obeyed. Tears slid down my face. At the sight of my tears, he stopped. He began to pull away but I stopped him.

"Don't stop," I insisted. I didn't want him to move his body from mine. It felt like the only thing keeping me in place and I feared what would happen if he stopped.

He hesitated but my eyes pleaded with him. He began to move while his lips touched mine softly, with a tenderness I'd never felt before.

The seams were coming undone and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I lifted my hips to meet his thrust. Again and again. Sweat slid from my brow. Slater's hands encircled me and kept me close as he took me higher and then I shattered into a million pieces.

Slater tensed above me as he reached his climax. I closed my eyes, trying to stop him from seeing what was happening. More tears mingled with my sweat and slid down my face.

A gentle finger brushed one tear away and then another. A dam had broken and there was no way to stop more tears from breaking free.

I was on the verge of having a meltdown and I needed to be alone. I pushed Slater at the same time I opened my eyes again, and he moved off me. Sitting up with my back to him, I brushed my tears away, feeling furious with myself.

"Jordan," Slater said. The sound of the pity in his voice was more than I could handle.

"Please...leave."