Page 85 of Structure of Love

“You pulled your life together before you got a therapist, though?”

“In hindsight, I should have reversed it. Please learn from my mistake.”

My confession startled a smile out of him. “Okay. So, therapist.”

“Yeah. You’ve got court-ordered rehab, which is a great second step. And how about a life coach?”

He stared, not understanding. “There’s life coaches?”

“Sure. Their job is literally to help you figure out how to approach life. They’ll sit you down, form goals with you, and an action plan of how to achieve the goal. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, isn’t a life coach exactly what you need?”

Some of his worry and stress fell away, replaced with the kindling of hope. “Yeah, sounds like it. Um, I don’t have the money to pay for any of that, though.”

“I guarantee if you tell Gage you want a life coach and therapist, he’d be happy to pay. Hell, he’ll throw a damn party. He wants you to succeed, Cooper. He’d love nothing more than for you to pull your life together.”

Look at Cooper’s smile when he finally realized how loved he was. Funny how a kid like Cooper, who had a good family, could still screw up this badly. If I’d been in his shoes, I doubt I would have been such an absolute hellion. Ah, well, such is life.

Proving he had something of the Banachek genes in him, Cooper asked me, “Would you hire me?”

“I’ll give you a chance, kid, on certain conditions. You gotta pass rehab and sobriety marks, otherwise a bar’s a stupid call for you. But get some therapy and let your arm heal first. Then I’ll put you to work.”

“Fair enough. Thanks, Logan.”

“You’re very welcome.”

Gage came back into the room, his expression some mixture of frustration, relief, and exhaustion. Or maybe he was just fedup. Hard to tell. “Mom’s on her way. She’s pretty upset, as expected.”

He seemed ready to leave at that point, but he didn’t know the winds of change were blowing, and this was one thing he’d want to hear. I caught Cooper’s eye and jerked my chin toward his brother. Okay, your turn. Showtime.

Cooper wet cracked lips before he called out, “Gage?”

Gage’s expression was the epitome of patience, but his fatigue was evident. “Yeah?”

“Can I have a therapist?”

Ha, if I lightly poked my boyfriend with a finger, he’d have toppled right over.

“A life coach, too,” Cooper tacked on. “Oh, and rehab’s gotta start. I think…I think I don’t want to live like this anymore.”

Gage moved around the side of the bed in a flash, sitting hip to hip with his brother, and I could tell he was studying every twitch of Cooper’s face. As if he needed to verify his brother’s sincerity.

For his part, Cooper looked nervous as hell but gamely kept his eyes on Gage’s.

“I would love nothing better.” Gage’s voice was choked with emotion, but he sounded utterly relieved. “You mean that, right?”

“I do. I don’t…I don’t want to live like this.” Cooper’s eyes filled with tears, and he dashed them away with a palm. “I knew months ago this wasn’t right, what I was doing; I just didn’t know how to do better. And I was scared that I’d try, and fail, and just prove people right for not believing in me.”

“No, Cooper.” Gage scrubbed a hand over his face. “Trying and failing is so much better than not trying at all. And this isn’t a damn test. You don’t fail completely if you don’t get it right on the first try. Not succeeding the first time you try something is just life.”

I decided to throw in my two cents. “Speaking for myself, it took years of trying to get my bar. That was definitely not a first-time-success thing. Hell, it took five, six tries before I was able to buy a house.”

Gage pointed a finger at me. “See? And he’s an incredibly successful man.”

“Oh.” Cooper glanced between us. “I guess…I guess I just believed you had to get it all right on the first try. And there’s no way in hell I can do that. I mean, isn’t that why Dad left you in charge?”

I pursed my lips in a soundless whistle. So daddy dearest abandoning his kids for most of their lives was behind some of this, eh? Cooper’s therapist was going to have fun unpacking everything and putting this kid back to rights. Also, I hoped Gage caught the subtext there. Cooper compared himself to Gage, much like a child would to a hero. Gage didn’t think Cooper valued or respected him, but it was quite the opposite from what I saw.

Gage groaned, but it sounded more like a string of curses. “No, Cooper. Dad left me in charge because I’m older than you. No other reason. Also, he’s a piece of shit. He neglected us both and parentified me. That’s abuse in anyone’s eyes. He’s not a good father.”