Page 2 of Structure of Love

“I was just…really needing someone then.” I had also learned my lesson. Trying to turn a hookup into a boyfriend wouldn’t work because both parties had entirely different expectations. It had fallen apart quickly and left me with a firm resolve to never, ever try online dating again. It wasn’t true dating, just hookups, and hookups were the last thing I wanted.

Zar’s eyes narrowed, brows drawn down into concern. Dammit. I wasn’t that bad.

Maybe. Maybe I wasn’t that bad.

I was also excellent at denial.

“Gage, you’ve got to try something.”

I stood, stretching my hamstrings, all while glaring in exasperation. “Look at it from a potential date’s point of view—sure, I’m good looking, and have a good career, so I’ll pass the first level of inspection. But then you get to the baggage I’m hauling around. An absent father, a mother who can’t and won’t get her shit together, and a little brother who constantly needs my attention. It’s too much for most people. They don’t want more burdens on top of what they’re already managing, and Idon’t blame them. Me being hot isn’t enough to make up the difference.”

“I think you’re selling yourself short.”

“My point is made,” I said loftily, wanting to move past this topic.

“Incorrectly.”

“With evidence.”

“That’s not corroborated.”

“Says you.”

Zar abruptly grinned. “It’s good to know some part of us will never grow up.”

I snickered. Yeah, there was something reassuring in that. No matter what changes occurred in life, part of me would always be a bit immature, and Zar would banter exactly like he had when we were twelve.

We were done stretching, so I switched to running, as it was cardio day. Zar hopped up onto the machine next to me, and we warmed up with a brisk walk.

“I do actually have a thought.”

“You have thoughts?!” I gasped in wonder.

“Smartass.”

“No, it’s just, I thought your brain was still waiting on parts before it was installed!”

For that, he poked me in the ribs, making me laugh. Ah, Zar was fun to tease. I could see why Asher teased him all the time.

“As I was saying”—he gave me a measured look, silently daring me to start up again—“I wonder how people used to meet? Before the days of online dating.”

“I think most of it was networking. Either parents or friends would introduce you to potential dates.”

“Networking, huh?” Zar mused. “But all my gay friends were introduced to me by either you or Asher.”

“Yeah, doesn’t work in this case. Why are you so focused on this, anyway?”

“Because you’re clearly lonely and want someone.”

“How dare you read me so easily.”

“I know, right? It’s almost like I grew up with you or something.”

I stuck my tongue out at him, then reached over and increased the speed on his machine. Maybe if he was running, he’d stop chattering.

Zar smacked my hand away. “Quit that!”

“More running, less talking,” I said.