Page 75 of Structure of Love

Her eyes filled with tears, and she stared at me like I was a stranger. “Don’t you even care about us?”

“No. Not really. You keep making this bed of nails to lie in and then crying when it’s not comfortable. Make better choices.”

I’d had enough and closed the door again, locking it. I stayed there in case she tried to break the window on the door and force her way in, though. I didn’t know this version of my mother, this insane person who would beat my door so hard it was a wonder she didn’t break her hands. My nerves skittered with anxiety, and I kept clenching up, then forcing myself to breathe. If she broke in, I’d call the cops. Not Zar, either. I’d call police we didn’t know. I wouldn’t deal with her. Okay, don’t panic. Calm down, calm down. She might leave.

The door bounced when she slammed a fist against it, or kicked it. I wasn’t sure which, and I had a piss-poor angle through the front window. Her temper surprised me, as I’d always seen her as this pathetic person who only knew how to cry and be the victim.

“You’ll regret this, Gage!” she yelled through the door, voice muffled. “No one will stand by you like family will!”

That was the irony of it all. Family hadneverhad my back. I’d always had theirs. It was why she was acting like this, no doubt, flailing when she no longer had support. She’d forgotten how to adult. I had done her a disservice by enabling her bad behavior for so long.

“Cooper won’t even leave the house,” she said with a sob. “He’s scared of a cop seeing him!”

Suuuuure.

“He’s scared of going back to jail!”

May he be so terrified, he never drinks again. Amen.

“You left him in that horrible place! I had to do an emergency call with your father to get enough money for a lawyer, and bail, and the fine that horrible judge gave him to pay! He’s even been ordered to do rehab! REHAB! Like my son is some awful addict!”

Wow, the denial was freaking strong there. Cooper was without a doubt an addict. I mean, she had to bail him out of jail because of a drinking-related charge, but she wouldn’t admit that, huh? Or maybe couldn’t admit it. Couldn’t admit her child was so far gone and she was part of the reason why.

Pity swam through me. This adamant refusal to see reality had never served her well. Not once had it worked in her favor, but she continued to play ostrich rather than owning up to the numerous mistakes she’d made with her children.

I pitied her, yes, but not enough to open the door. Not enough to open her way back into my life.

The door bounced again, there was another scream of pure fury, and then I could see through the front window as she stomped back to her car. She got in, and I think she screamed some more, banging against the steering wheel.

Wow, temper, temper.

It was sad how quickly she’d spiraled with me no longer there to fix things for her. Even if I’d let guilt get the better of meand apologized, what did she expect me to do, anyway? I didn’t have a magic wand to make a judge rule in her baby boy’s favor. I didn’t possess the charisma necessary to get Cooper out of paying a fine. Me being involved would have made the situation less stressful for those two, but it wouldn’t have helped much in the end.

I realized it was a matter of me being the handy scapegoat. Someone she could yell at and blame everything on, rather than deal with Cooper.

With her in the car, I dared to unclench. My nerves settled a little, too. I patted myself on the back. Good job, me. Turning my phone off and focusing on Logan had absolutely been the right call. And you know what? I was going to do it again.

The second her car pulled out of the driveway, speeding off, I double-checked all locks, shrugged, and went back to the couch. Netflix asked if I was still watching, and I said yes. I lied, but I likedThe Great British Baking Showas background noise.

Then I settled right back in with my tablet. It took a minute to completely cast off the furious mood Mom had left at my doorstep, but I was determined. I shook my arms out to get rid of unwanted energy and took several deep, cleansing breaths.

Yeah, I still needed a beer. I got up and snagged one of Logan’s, then a second one. Once I was comfy on my couch, I didn’t want to get up again.

I settled back into the couch and took a sip of beer, letting the taste swish and linger in my mouth.

So Cooper’s boo-boo had resulted in judge-ordered rehab, huh? Well, wasn’t that something. Maybe he’d finally straighten up a little. I knew people who’d failed rehab, so I wasn’t holding my breath, but who knew? Miracles could happen.

Ah, I better warn people, in case her frustration sent my mother ping-ponging to other people’s houses, trying to getsomeone on her side to gang up on me. I could totally see my mother doing that in her current mood.

I texted in the group chat.

Me:Hey guys, heads-up. Mom’s on the warpath.

Zar:Now what

Me:She’s mad as hell I didn’t go to Cooper’s rescue on Tues

Zar:First of all, good job on that