Page 3 of Structure of Love

Zar ran but gave me the stink eye.

I had to focus while on the treadmill. Mostly because I was graced with the balance of Humpty Dumpty. I’d fallen on my ass before after carelessly turning my head at the wrong moment. Zar, being a good friend, had immediately taken a picture before helping me up. He did not need two pictures.

I finished up with cardio, did a bit of weight training—because why not?—then went back to the mats to stretch and cool down. It felt good to get my limbs moving, which was why I liked working out with Zar. Even if he was being pushy today.

Well, he wasn’t wrong about his concerns. I didn’t like being single. I tried not to complain, because I’d just be a broken record, but it was true I didn’t like being alone. Ironic, considering I’d never had a supportive, steady boyfriend in my life. I think I yearned for a fantasy. My entire life, I’d never had support from family. Friends, yes. My chosen family had always been there for me, but they also had their own partners, their own families, and I couldn’t keep them with me all the time.

I wanted someone solely for myself. I wanted a rock-solid relationship where I had the love and support I’d craved but never fully experienced.

Did that make me desperate or just pathetic? Hard to tell some days.

Zar joined me to stretch, eyeing me sideways. “Now what’s that face for?”

“I’ve realized I might have unrealistic expectations of men. I blame Disney movies.”

Zar snorted. “Like you watched those much to begin with. Why do you think you have unrealistic expectations?”

“Well, I want a boyfriend who’s hot, only has eyes for me, but also has good EQ. Someone who is responsible, doesn’t have commitment issues, and knows how to support me when I need it. I don’t know, is all that unrealistic?”

“No. Frankly, you shouldn’t settle for less.”

“Ah, for a second I forgot who I was speaking to.”

“What does that mean?”

“You have Asher, so of course you can say that. You managed to find your person.”

“No, Gage, it’sbecauseI have Asher that I can say this. I beat the odds, in a sense. I figured out who I’m meant to be with. If I can do it, you can do it.”

I understood what he was saying, but at the same time, it wasn’t that easy. Zar had experienced an awakening, an epiphany that he was attracted to Asher, and it was the only reason they were together now. Asher had been next to him the entire time.

I didn’t have an Asher in my life, someone I had merely failed to notice. I wished. It would make dating easier. Unfortunately, my best-friends-to-lovers plot had never been approved for production, shall we say.

No, if I wanted a boyfriend, I’d have to find someone, somehow. Where, was the fucking question, because there was nothing I hadn’t tried. Except maybe a matchmaker, but did matchmakers even handle gay clients? I’d have to Google.

On second thought, let’s not.

Perhaps, with the right sacrifices to the dating gods, a hot man would simply land in my lap.

Hey, weirder things had happened.

But yes, I was that desperate, thanks for asking.

Shaking off the mood, I headed for the locker room. I took a quick shower to wash the sweat off, put some gel in my hair, and then I was back in street clothes with no other goal than Lulu’s for breakfast. Bacon called my name.

Zar followed me to the diner, and I let him enter first so Sandi could rattle off his order, as per usual.

Sandi barely glanced up before she started writing it all down on a pad. “Two Eggs Benedict Arnold, side of bacon, hashbrowns, biscuit, and coffee!”

Zar leaned lightly on the counter. “I actually want my eggs scrambled today.”

“Cops shouldn’t lie,” she said, not missing a beat. “Next!”

Zar snickered before pushing off the counter and heading for our usual booth.

I shook my head but stepped up to the counter to place my order. “Breakfast skillet, Sunrise juice.”

“I appreciate you, Gage.”