Page 63 of Structure of Love

The timer went off, so I got up and fetched dinner out of the oven.

Gage grabbed plates and handed me one, looking on curiously. “Is that your infamous chicken pot pie?”

“How dare you? It’s not infamous, it’s famous. But yes.”

Gage took his plate back to the table and took a careful bite. Then his lips curled up in an expression of pure pleasure. “Oh. Oh, that’s good.”

I somehow managed to keep my response to a simple “Why, thank you” rather than the innuendo that wanted to come out.

We ate, and I tried to figure out how to bring our relationship status up. I was more than nervous about saying something in case I was jumping the gun and putting Gage on the spot, which I loathed to do. On the other hand, I was getting rather desperate to jump him, so it was better to say something now, before resentment could settle in.

“So, Gage. We’ve been dating almost three weeks now. I’d like to go exclusive, but what do you think?”

Gage blinked. “Oh, we doing a DTR?”

“A whatsit?”

“Define the Relationship.”

“Oh! Uh, yes?”

“Thank fuck.” Gage took my free hand in his, eyes carefully examining my face. “I genuinely like you. I would love to be in a relationship with you. One of my goals was to bring it up tonight, so I’m glad you said something.”

A small knot of worry that had been riding around in my chest abruptly released, and now I could draw a proper breath again. So he’d felt the same. A happy sort of heat spread throughout my chest, leaving me giddy in its wake.

I drew his hand up to my lips, pressed a kiss to his knuckles, and thanked the dating gods for finally doing something in my favor. “You’re my boyfriend, then.”

The way this man looked at me, like he was almost giddy with joy, just about put my ego through the roof. I’d never had a man look at me like this, and it did things to me, not going to lie.

“That makes me super happy,” he said in a soft voice, the last word catching. Gage leaned in and kissed me, a slow kiss that sparked and turned this whole emotional moment into something deeper. I kissed him back and felt like we needed to have that sex talk right now, because I wanted to do naughty, naughty things with him.

I broke the kiss only to ask, “Is sex on the table tonight?”

“Absolutely on the table. This table, if you’d like.”

“Then tell me what you want, what you’re not comfortable with.”

Unexpectedly, he paused. I’d anticipated him giving me a quick overview of shit before we did some rumbling, but instead, he pulled back, not quite meeting my eyes. What was this hesitation about?

“Logan, you strike me as a top?” A tremor of something, maybe nerves, lingered in his words.

I sensed a problem but had to answer honestly. “Most of the time? But I can be versatile, just depends on my mood. Why?”

“I’ve been a top most of my adult life, but I’ve never been certain if I actuallyama top or just not willing to bottom.” Gage’s tongue flicked out, wetting his lips, and his nerves shone clearly now. “I’ve only bottomed twice. Neither experience was fun. Downright miserable and embarrassing.”

Shiiiiit. He was nervous due to bad experiences. He also wasn’t sure how we’d fit together in bed, apparently. He still couldn’t seem to meet my eyes, and his fingers were fidgeting.

Well, me, time to be real with him. The foundation for our sex life depended on how I answered. I started praying for the right words.

“I’m not about to demand something you’re not comfortable with. Like I said, I’m versatile, and I’d be happy to bottom.”

Gage nodded, but for some reason the nerves were still there? He took a deep breath. “The first incident was with a virgin who didn’t know what he was doing, and the second guy was just an asshole, which is part of the reason why I’m not sure if bottoming is even for me. I can’t use those past examples as any basis for a decision, in a sense. I’ve thought about it, and I think I want to try again with someone who knows what they’re doing and will stop if I need them to. Logan, I trustyou.”

My head filled with white noise for a second. Was he suggesting what I thought he was suggesting…?

“I’m not sure if I’ll be gung ho, but I want to try bottoming with you.”

Seriously, this man’s courage put me to shame. He’d not had anything but bad experiences, but still, he wanted to put himself in my hands and try it once more? I wasn’t sure I’d have done the same in his shoes.