Page 117 of Structure of Love

Raymond looked to the side, where Erin still stood. She wasn’t attached to Grandpa like I had been, as he’d mostly deserted the family by time she was two or so, and she barelyhad any memory of the man. She’d been upset at his death but not shaken, not like I had been. She chose to come today, but she had little to say to a man who had hurt me so badly. In her own words, she was glad he was dead and couldn’t do further damage.

My sister felt protective of her siblings. She was a good kid that way.

Raymond looked so wistful. “Is she doing okay?”

I didn’t see harm in answering him. In fact, it might do him some good to realize what she was like outside of his influence. “She’s great. I bought her a car, a Volvo, that she cleaned up herself. She’s got her own room at my house. I’m probably going to be inundated with teenagers sometime soon.”

He hesitated strongly before asking, “Is she really…gay?”

“Oh yeah. No doubt there.”

I’d expected a reaction, but not him turning even sadder. He seriously drooped, like a water droplet about to kiss pavement.

“My mother taught me being gay was wrong. Father always endorsed her belief. Now”—his eyes flitted back to Erin, then returned back to me—“with two of my children being gay, and with how hateful my parents were to me, I have to question everything I was raised to believe.”

Stunned didn’t cover it. I never, not in a million years, would have thought to hear those words out of this man’s mouth. Was he actually coming around on his own, realizing he’d screwed up majorly?

“I was so excited to have a little girl, I guess I never could properly see my sons.” A tear fell, and he stared at the ground. “You’re a better man than me, Logan. You prioritized your family and straightened yourself out. You didn’t need something like this to realize you were on the wrong path. Tell me one thing before you go. This man who I see you with, is he dating you?”

“He is.”

“Is he a good man?”

“One of the best I’ve ever known.”

“You trust him around Erin?”

“If I couldn’t trust him with my baby sister, I wouldn’t be dating him,” I said dryly.

Raymond perked up. “I’m glad. Tell Erin I’m very sorry for how I treated her. I want to reconnect with my children. All of my children. I don’t want to repeat my father’s mistake.”

I had no idea if this attitude of his would continue once the funeral was well past us, but I didn’t trust him. How could I, after a lifetime of him failing me? I wanted him to redeem himself. Maybe that was selfish to wish for, and not all of my siblings would agree, but it was too sad to waste this life and not try for some kind of redemption. “How about you do a little therapy, straighten yourself out?”

His expression turned hopeful. “That’s…”

“I have many,manyissues with you and my mother. I don’t know if I can forgive you. You did a lot wrong to me. I absolutely don’t trust you. So you changing isn’t for me, but for you. Because you recognize that you need to change.”

“I suppose, after everything I did to you, that’s warranted. I am sorry, for what it’s worth. Be well and happy, Logan.” He gave me one last sad smile, then turned and walked away.

I watched him go and seriously wondered if this was a fever dream. Maybe I was drunk somewhere and dreaming this up? Reality was stranger than fiction some days.

I walked back to my group.

Erin met me partway and demanded, “What did he say?”

“A lot. I’ll fill you in on the drive back, but essentially, the way Grandfather’s estate was divvied up and the biological accusation made our father realize he’s majorly fucked up his own family based upon an angry man’s belief system.”

Erin’s jaw dropped. “Oh my god.”

“Yeah, didn’t see that happening either. But he was very sincere. Told me to tell you that he’s very sorry for how he treated you. He even apologized to me.”

“Oh my god!”

I shrugged, because what else could you say?

Gage came up to join us, sliding an arm around my waist. “Ready to go back?”

He’d been such a solid support ever since that moment at Blackbird when I’d broken down completely. God, I loved him. I felt sappy sometimes when I looked at him.