Page 104 of Structure of Love

But I gave it a snowball’s chance in hell. She didn’t even get sober after she wrecked a car that hurt her children. If that wasn’t a wakeup call, nothing I said would impact her enough to change.

She glared at me like I was being a problem child. “I won’t stand here and be spoken to like this. I’m leaving. When you want to apologize for what you just said, you know where to find me.”

Woooow she was delusional. Me? Apologize? For what, telling her the truth?

But she really was trying to twist this so she was the victim. Which was so typical of her, really. Also, it made it very clear that I’d never be able to trust her. I’d never be able to let her into my life at all.

I’d tried so hard for years to somehow turn her around so I wasn’t disappointed in her. But that effort was useless, clearly. You can’t change people. Not until they’re willing to change.

Shaking my head, I ignored her and headed to my front door. I turned enough to watch her get in the car and leave. Then I immediately went to the couch and just flopped down on it. I hated to do it, but this interaction made it clear.

I needed to go no contact with her completely.

The realization felt mostly sad. I was frustrated with her on a regular basis, there were times I’d scream with rage because ofsomething she’d done, but at the heart of it, she was my mother. I didn’t want to cut her out. I didn’t want to hate her.

But it’d slowly come down to this: I had to protect myself. First and foremost, I had to safeguard myself.

Even against my own mother.

It did make me sad, but I knew it was the right choice. I knew it deep in my bones. Besides, like hell would I make Logan deal with her insanity for the rest of our lives. I loved him too much to inflict her on him. Even though I knew he could handle her, I didn’t want that future for us, where a monster-in-law was always hovering.

Cooper eased out of the back bedroom and eyed me cautiously. “Mom was still out there?”

“No, she’s gone.”

“What’d she say?”

“Same old shit, as always. I told her flat out that I didn’t want a relationship with her anymore. That until she got sober and did therapy, I wanted nothing to do with her.”

“Damn. I’m almost sorry now I stayed in the house hiding from her. I wish I could have seen her face when you said that.”

“She was already spinning it so she was the victim by the time I called the conversation quits. Trust me, you didn’t miss anything.” I tipped my head back to rest on the back of the couch. “Coop. I’m going no contact with her.”

“Seriously?”

“She’s toxic. I don’t need that in my life.”

He was silent for a long moment.

I let my head flop to the side to look at him. He looked hella conflicted so I added, “You don’t have to do the same.”

“No,” he surprised me by saying, his brows furrowed in thought. “I think I need to. That was one of the things Logan told me. That you have to cut out the bad influences. Mom’s the worst influence I have.”

“Ah.” Yeah, hard to argue that point.

“I’ll go no contact too.”

“You’re seriously growing on me, Coop. I’m proud of you.”

He looked abashed, shuffling his feet a little. He was clearly very pleased. Then again, how many times in his life had someone said they were proud of him? Likely never.

Mental note to me, tell him that more often. I wanted him to know he was doing great.

“Thanks,” he said a little shyly. Then prudently added, “We might have to call the police on her next time she shows up here, though.”

“Do it. Eventually, she’ll get it through her head we don’t want her around.” Maybe that would be a wakeup call, maybe not. Mom was kind of narcissistic and found it really hard to admit when she’d made mistakes, so I wasn’t holding my breath.

Honestly, it made me sad. Why did so many people I know have such shitty parents? I swear, some people really shouldn’t have kids.