Page 56 of My Broken Mate (Healing Bonds #1)

I am used to snarky or sarcastic comments from Ayden or Joel, even from Eve, but hearing them from Remus is different.

It makes me so happy that I snuggle against him even more.

His hand moves to my shoulder, holding me tight, while his other hand gently brushes the hair out of my face.

He doesn’t say anything, just looks at me like I am the most special person on the planet.

He is the first one to ever make me feel that way.

We lay together for a long while, watching how the darkness of the night passes and it’s getting brighter with every passing minute. “I wish we could stay here forever, but I guess we need to move,” Remus says.

I grin. “You certainly don’t wish to stay here forever. There is no running water aside from that ice-cold stream.”

“And no WIFI signal, or any signal,” he adds.

We both chuckle.

“And I kind of like my siblings,” he says.

“’ Kind of’ “ I quote.

“You know what I mean,” he smiles.

“And you think they put two and two together and know where we are?” I ask.

“Yes, I am sure Sean will piece it together. He is the only one who knows this place. And I think, back then, it was quite a traumatic experience for him, too. He had to retrieve my mom’s body.

And he tried so hard to console me.” He pauses.

“And you really think that Joel and Eve will both come rushing here?”

I laugh. “They are insane,” I say. “They will absolutely come.”

Talking about our families definitely pushes us to finally get up. We clean up with the ice-cold water of the stream, which is a whole new challenge, and then get dressed again. We didn’t bring a ton to eat, so we use what the cabin has to offer.

I follow the instructions of the old lady and take off the sheets and put them into one of the bags, then I do the same with all the other laundry we used. Meanwhile, Remus lights a small fire to make tea for us.

Soon, we sit next to each other in front of the small bonfire.

I don’t say anything, just wait for him to take the next step.

I know what he came here for, but I don’t want to push him.

Remus takes my hand and squeezes it slightly before taking out the letter from his mother.

“She was in a hurry when she wrote it,” he says.

“I still don’t know why she didn’t take me with her.

I guess she couldn’t do it.” He pauses. “A part of me resented her for keeping me alive, for not taking me with her, and forcing me to live in the hell that was my life.”

I slip closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder.

It’s not a long letter. Remus is right, she probably wrote it in a hurry, scared that her alpha mate would find her and drag her back before she could take her life, scared she might change her mind to stay with her son or worse, decide to take him with her.

My sweet Remus,

Forgive me.

Please forgive me.

Forgive me.

She has scribbled these words over and over again, almost filling half of the page with them, some lines blurring into each other. She must have been close to losing her sanity when she wrote it. My heart breaks for Remus, having to face the proof of how far into the abyss she’d already fallen.

Of how far his father pushed her into it.

The lump in my throat becomes too thick to speak, so I wrap my hand around his arm, holding onto him to give him the support he needs.

Her writing gets clearer in the second half.

You are my only pride. The only person in my life who managed to bring back the light. You are everything.

Remus lets the letter sink down, taking a shaky breath.

For long minutes, neither of us say anything.

“He took everything from her,” he says. “You should have met her before she broke. She was kind and fun, smart, and she smiled. She smiled a lot. He took everything from her, like he always did. He destroyed everything he touched. She wilted, and I couldn’t do anything about it. ”

“He was a monster,” I say. “None of this was your fault or hers.” I pause. “Are you going to tell Sean and Gabe?”

“I don’t know how much to tell them,” he says. “I don’t want to hurt them more than they already have been. Dad broke them differently than he broke me.” He intertwines our fingers. “What about you? Are you going to tell Evander and Joel what you told me?”

“Like you, I don’t know,” I mutter. “They loved their mom, and she loved them. I don’t want to tarnish their memory.”

Remus shows me the remainder of the letter.

I’ve not achieved anything in my life. I fell into the trap of that man, who would take our freedom and peace. But I don’t regret that it gave me you. You are the only good that came out of this. You are kind, caring, blessed with a good heart and a strong mind.

No matter what happens or what the future brings, I hope for you to remain this sweet person.

I wish for you to achieve all your dreams, to find someone you can love to the fullest, and no matter what happens, I want you to remain the person you are.

Always honest to yourself, with your beautiful, gentle heart.

“I think in her twisted mind, she maybe believed that Dad would forget about her when she died,” he tells me.

“Maybe that’s why she didn’t take me with her in the end.

She might have believed that once she was gone, his obsession would leave, too, and that he maybe would find another woman to toy with.

She didn’t know that his obsession would shift from her to me. ”

Closing my eyes, I can see you as an adult, as the person you will become. Someone will bring the light into your life, like you did for me.

He twists the letter in his hands. “He only sought me out when he was really drunk. He used to say her name then. I don’t think he ever really saw me,” he says lightly, as if he is telling an anecdote and not the darkest moments of his life.

If I can voice one wish to the goddess, it is for you to be able to love and laugh, and cry, fight, and make up. To dream big and not be afraid to fail.

I love you from the bottom of my heart.

Fly and be free!

Forgive me.

“Fly,” he mutters. “Maybe next time, when I try to find myself, we should go paragliding?”

I snort. “Eve would have a heart attack. But I wouldn’t be opposed.”

Remus folds the letter, lighting it with the small fire he made.

“I found it, Mom,” he says. “I found the light in my life, and a person I love. I have reconnected with my brothers. I’m not flying yet, but I have started to see a future where I might be able to.

” He lets the letter crumble into ashes.

“There is nothing to forgive you for,” he adds quietly.

Tears well in my eyes, and we sit in silence until the fire has burnt down. “You are the light for me, too,” I say quietly. “I know you haven't seen it yet, but you are. I am happy to dream and fall with you. Life’s less scary with you.”

“Thank you,” he says, his voice hoarse. “And thank you for doing this with me.”

“Remus,” I say. “There is one more thing we need to do.”

He turns his head to look at me, and I cup his cheeks to force him to stay in place. Staring deep into his eyes, I search for what I saw yesterday, clear as day. “Atlas,” I say. “I know you are there.”

I let Marise come forward to connect with him.

All the walls that Remus and Atlas built around themselves have started crumbling.

Not all of them are down yet, but I am confident we can finally reach him.

He was there when he marked me the first time, and he was there when he claimed me again last night.

You have done well, protecting your human, Marise says.

I know what you did. You protected his mind, to stop him from falling into a place he couldn’t return from.

You have been brave and strong for him. but now he is strong enough to walk by himself.

And for you, it’s time to step forward to walk next to him. Come to us, Atlas, come to your mate.

Something in Remus’ eyes flashes.

“Let it happen,” I soothe him. “Don’t fight it. It’s okay to give up control to your wolf. I am here, and I won’t let anything happen to you.”

The change comes slowly, first just with his eyes darkening, then his nails elongate.

I let go of him, stepping back a little to give him space.

My heart is in my throat, anxious, hopeful, happy.

The first shift is painful, but no sound escapes Remus’ lips until he is finally standing in front of us.

Atlas. Tall and strong, with beautiful, dark brown fur that shimmers bronze in the sun.

Marise takes over again, and I let her, shifting into our wolf form. She runs up to Atlas, bumping into him. He is like Remus, in the way he immediately indulges her and wraps himself around her.

My heart is still in my throat, this time out of pure joy and not out of sadness, for the sorrow my mate had to feel and for the cruelties he faced at such a young age.

His wolf is here with him.

He has finally regained the last missing piece. His wolf is here, and he won’t leave again.