Page 36 of My Broken Mate (Healing Bonds #1)

Chapter twenty-four

Forever Friends

*REMY*

M y mind has difficulty processing everything that happened tonight.

I have a mate, a girlfriend! I never had one before, though that’s probably not entirely true.

During High School, I kept seeing some girls occasionally, just to avoid being at home too much, and I gave them whatever they wanted—presents, dates, my body, anything—out of fear I would be rejected by them.

I would have done anything not to be forced to go home.

But this time it’s different.

I like Kata, and I don’t usually like anyone.

She is cute, fun, kind, and just like the sun.

It’s easier to breathe when she is around me.

Knowing that we are mates is like a puzzle piece that was missing.

Now it makes sense that my headache lessened when she was around, but got worse when she was around me, but I didn’t approach her, or if I hurt her.

I always felt better in her proximity, and it figures now why I couldn’t let our tutor sessions end.

I know my brothers set me up, but for once, I am not mad at being tricked.

If they hadn’t done it, I would have never met Kata. Or maybe I would have, just much later.

And it’s obvious now that I do have my wolf! Sean and the doctors were right when they said it’s impossible for me not to have one; they had the right feeling about this. I just don’t know why he is hiding from me.

The packhouse is buzzing when I return, and with every step I take, the heavy feelings come back.

I felt free and light when I was with Kata, like always when I am in her vicinity.

I wasn’t able to put a finger on it before I found out we are mates, but the feeling’s always been there.

Now that she isn’t here, I feel the same heavy weight again.

I wish I could disappear.

I wish I didn’t exist.

Why was I even born?

The moment I think these thoughts, I am instantly struck with guilt, as usual. I should be happy I am here. I have so much more than others.

“Remy,” Levi calls out, jogging towards me.

“You are back.” He smiles. A smile that reaches his eyes, like always.

I don’t know how he befriended Sean. It’s a secret they don’t share with anyone.

It seems like this is what all three of us do.

Just hide everything from each other. No matter the reasons, though, I am glad Levi is at his side.

Sean needs someone like him, someone trustworthy and capable.

“Come, join us for an early lunch,” he says.

“I just came from breakfast,” I admit.

“You don’t need to eat anything,” Levi reassures me. “But I think Sean would be happy. He spotted you coming home.”

Sean would be happy? I can’t do much, I am not capable, and my wolf only made his presence known last night when I was close to Kata. Yet, I don’t have a grip on him right now, so I can’t feel him. So, if Sean wants me to join him for lunch, it’s the least I can do.

“I will join you,” I say, following Levi to the dining hall. “Did Kiki already return?”

“No, she is still on her spa weekend,” Levi explains. “Lyle has been asking for you, though.”

“I will catch up with him later.”

The good thing about having lunch with Levi and Sean is that I get distracted from my downwardly spiraling thoughts. Sean doesn’t ask the questions Gabriel did, in fact, he doesn’t ask much at all and keeps the conversation light.

Part of me feels relieved, the other part feels utterly worthless.

“Remy!” Like a breath of fresh air, Lyle approaches us with his mate following him. She looks a bit anxious when she notices Sean, like everyone does who doesn’t know him well. He gives off a strong aura and comes across as very serious. “Can we abduct him, Alpha Sean?” he asks.

Sean looks amused. “That’s for him to decide.”

Lyle looks at me expectantly.

“Yes, abduct me,” I chuckle.

Part of me feels relieved to be able to leave lunch.

I love Sean and look up to him, but I always feel so inferior.

A different kind of inferior to how I feel with Gabriel.

I know Gabriel expects much more from me, and he thinks I have potential that I am currently not reaching, and I am well aware I have no chance to do that, ever.

As for Sean, he is pretty much the person I wish I could be.

Strong, reliable, confident. He never seems to be scared of anything and carries himself so gracefully.

But it’s impossible to ever reach him. Actually, it’s pretty much impossible to reach either of my brothers.

“How was your night out?” Lyle asks.

“It was,” I pause, trying to find the right words. I don’t have any, because nothing can describe the hurricane of emotions I felt last night. It’s so rare for me to feel anything that it makes my head spin even remembering the night, “great.”

“Really?” Lyle looks at me curiously.

I smile. “Really.”

“Now you got me curious!” he exclaims.

“Maybe I will tell you more,” I tease him. “But you and Cora better keep next weekend free. We are invited to Kata’s place for a gaming party.”

Lyle stares at me. “A gaming party? You are going to a gaming party at Katalina’s place?”

“Yes.”

“Who are you and what did you do to my friend?”

I smack his shoulder. “Idiot.”

“No, seriously,” Lyle looks at me curiously. He doesn’t say any more, but I can see it in his eyes.

You haven’t teased anyone in forever.

It’s been ages since I have heard you joke.

You look almost happy.

I am glad he doesn’t say it out loud, though the unspoken words hang between us. To distract us, I turn my attention to Cora. “How are you settling in, Cora?”

“I love it here!” she exclaims. “Everything is so green and lush.”

“It’s much colder in your home pack, isn’t it?”

“Yes, we have a lot of rain and snow. It’s much higher up the mountains.” She clings to Lyle’s arm, and he smiles happily at her.

“It looks like Cora will stay here,” he says.

“That’s awesome. I am really happy for you.”

“Thank you.”

Cora smiles. “It means Rhodes will finally have some allies, too. Our pack needs them, although he is too proud to admit it. He looks like an asshole, but I promise he is actually pretty kind.”

I raise my brows at her words. She is not mincing her words at all. Something tells me she will get along well with Ayden.

I spend some more time with the two of them, and we make plans to go to our college lectures together tomorrow.

Cora has moved in with Lyle and his family, but, like Levi said, they are currently getting their own place.

However, after a couple of minutes, Cora leaves us to head home for a little date with Lyle’s mom.

“She gets along well with your family, doesn’t she?”

“Yes,” Lyle beams. “They love her. And you know what”—he smirks—“I found my mate before Levi did. At least one thing I win against him at.”

“I get that,” I say. “With brothers like ours, it’s hard to win.”

“I knew you would understand.”

We linger for a bit. “Do you want to hang out?” Lyle asks. “I have no work, and I did all my assignments for the week.”

“It’s okay,” I tell him. “Cora is probably waiting for you.”

“Cora is meeting my mother,” he says. “She is not expecting me.”

“Are you sure? Maybe she wants you to join.” I pause. “I should be going, as well. I am tired from the night out and still have some work to do.”

“Remy,” Lyle says, shifting around. “You are still my best friend, you know that, don’t you?”

I blink. “Where did that come from?”

“I know I have a mate, and I know you think that…” his voice trails off. “I just want you to know that I won’t neglect my friends. I am not going to be one of those guys. Nothing will change.”

Everything will change. I would be na?ve not to think otherwise.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” he asks when I stay quiet.

“That’s not it,” I say. “I know you are genuine. You might mean it now, but I am just trying to be realistic. Once you mark Cora, your wolf will get stronger, and I am sure Sean is just waiting for you to be ready to take on more tasks around the pack. You will be busy, both with work, school and your mate. That’s life. ”

“You always try to rationalize everything,” he mutters, sounding equally annoyed and upset. “All three of you do that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t even know yet what I am going to do around the pack,” Lyle says.

“Cora is not done with college, neither am I—far from it. And before we are settled, we certainly won’t try for pups.

I will mark her as soon as she lets me, but that’s about as far as it goes.

Alpha Rhodes pretty much gave me a glare down when he visited and had me promise I would make sure Cora has time for her studies and friends.

And he is right. I want her to have all that, I want her to be her own person and have a life aside from me, and I know she wants the same for me. ”

“I didn’t know Alpha Rhodes was here,” I say evasively.

I don’t trust a lot of people, and I usually expect good things to come to an end, especially for me. Lyle has been my loyal friend for so long that I wouldn’t even be mad if he moved on. Sad, maybe, but not angry.

“Yeah, scary guy at first glance. He has that creepy smirk down to a core,” Lyle mutters.

“But he really cares about Cora and his pack, and once Alpha Sean showed him around, he warmed up a bit. But that’s not the point.

The point is: I can have a mate and still be a good friend.

At least wait and see before expecting the worst.”

He is clearly calling me out for my lack of trust in anyone, even those who haven’t betrayed me yet.

I should know better than to believe him, but eye to eye with Lyle, my resolve falters.

“Maybe you are right,” I give in. “I don’t know why I always expect the worst.” I pause.

“And just for the record, I am really happy for you. Nothing about what I said was a lie: She seems to be a lovely person, and as your friend, that makes me happy.”

“She is such a gem,” Lyle smiles fondly. “And she has a really silly and fun side to her, too. You wouldn’t even believe she is related to Alpha Rhodes.”

“He must have done something right if she is like that,” I say, my thoughts going back to said alpha with the dangerous sneer, and his even more dangerous-looking beta.

“They grew up together. A bad man wouldn’t make sure to raise his surrogate sister as a free spirit.

” I pause before sighing. “You knew I was all in my head again.”

“I had a feeling. I guess I just know you too well,” Lyle admits quietly. “So, what happened last night? I didn’t expect you to see reason so fast. I had a whole plan laid out about how to convince you to believe me. Seriously, you are different today than usual.”

I battle with myself for a moment, glad that Lyle doesn’t say anything and instead gives me the time to settle my thoughts.

This is my best friend. He knows things others don’t.

He doesn’t know all, but he knows some and has never shared it with anyone.

For a moment, I see Kata and her friends in front of my inner eye, and the way her best friend Ayden supports her and even made sure she and I had the time and place to find each other.

Deciding to take these two as an example for me, I grab Lyle’s arm and pull him into a secluded corner.

I gaze around to make sure no one is around.

“I will kill you if you tell anyone what I am going to say now, and I am not even joking.”

“This has to be good,” he mutters. “What happened?”

“Katalina,” I say.

Lyle stares at me. “What… yes!” he exclaims.

I shush him, and he lowers his voice. “I knew you found her cute.”

“Really?”

“Yes, she got under your skin, and no one usually does that,” he pauses, scrunching his nose. “Unless it’s Gabriel, but that’s different.”

“That’s not all that happened, though,” I say.

He looks at me curiously, and I put my hand on my heart and then link my fingers together. I don’t dare to say it out loud, in case anyone might be listening. Lyle stares at me. “Wait a moment…”

“I felt it when she touched me,” I say. “Clearly. And I could feel him, too.”

I don’t need to say any more, because Lyle catches on immediately. “This is—” he stops, grasping for words. “Fuck, this is amazing! I have no words, but I am so happy for you.” He pauses. “And what now?” he asks.

“I am not ready to tell anyone,” I admit. “I felt”—I lower my voice again—“my wolf for the first time. But I want to explore it a bit longer, and Kata is on board with it.”

“Your secret is safe with me,” Lyle promises. “And you better believe we are getting down to the core of it. Your wolf is here, and you have proof of it now. Plus, he will only get stronger now.” He pauses. “Are you sure you don’t want to tell Alpha Sean? I bet he will be so happy and relieved.”

My mind wanders to Sean. Maybe he would be relieved, but what if, despite having a mate, I won’t be able to properly connect to my wolf?

I know, Kata doesn’t mind, and weirdly, I do believe her, but my brother?

I am not so sure. I don’t want to get his hopes up and then disappoint him, again.

“I want some more time to figure this out,” I say. “Then, I will tell him.”

“It’s your decision,” Lyle says. “I will have your back anyway.”