Page 21 of My Broken Mate (Healing Bonds #1)

Chapter thirteen

Vermin

*GAbrIEL*

I have been walking through the gallery for an hour now.

Eve shares the exhibition with two other artists, but he is definitely the main attraction.

I wish I had something smart to say about his work, but I have no idea about art.

In general, I am probably the least artsy person on the planet.

I work better with numbers, statistics and textbooks.

Sean has a talent for writing, and Remy for cooking, but I am just genuinely and utterly untalented in any artistic area.

Eve has been following me in silence. He seems to be the only person I know who doesn’t mind me pondering when I see their work.

“You really like maggots, don’t you?” I finally say, staring at the obscure picture in front of me. It’s a wolf’s head with all kinds of worms eating its brain.

“No, why would I like them?”

“Because you feature them an awful lot.”

“I guess I do, but I don’t have any particular feelings towards them.”

“So, why do you paint them?”

“Just because . It’s like a vision that comes to my mind, a muse, and then I draw. And then, when I look up, I see the outcome for the first time, the way it is.”

I have no idea what he is talking about, but I doubt any explanation he could give me would satisfy my need for understanding.

Eve just lives in his own world when it comes to his art.

Frankly, I am glad I don’t know more about where he gets his muse from, going by the gross vermin he keeps drawing.

“Can you paint something nice for a change?”

“Joel asks me the same,” Eve says. “He says I should paint nude or a romantic couple. Maybe I should?”

“Could you pull it off without making it weird?”

“No,” he says. “I don’t know anything about love in the first place.”

“Have you never been in love?”

“No. You?”

“Not really,” I admit. “There was so much going on at home that I never felt like I wanted to get to know someone. I studied instead to make sure I had a future ahead of me. What’s your excuse?”

“Dad wasn’t a great mate. He loved us and was a great father, but as a mate, he sucked. He constantly cheated on Mom. The funny thing is, he did love her, but it didn’t stop him from sleeping with other women. If that’s love, I’d rather live without.”

“Goddess, we are completely lost,” I sigh. “Kinda pathetic. Sean doesn’t seem to be searching for his mate either.”

“Same with Joel, but we don’t talk much about this kind of stuff.”

“Neither do we.”

“Katalina,” Eve says with a warm smile. “She is different. She has dreams and hopes for the future, she is kind and joyful, and I want her to remain that way. I want her to stay that way and be allowed to dream.”

“Maybe she can influence Remy with her positivity,” I say.

“And maybe he can stop her from being too kind. Some people take advantage of her because she wants to please everyone.”

“Oh, Remy is introverted, but he has never had any issues with that,” I say, relieved that he can help Katalina in a way, too.

I know Remy is quiet and has his guard up constantly, something that worries both Sean and me.

He never lets anyone in. He isn’t shy, but he is closed off.

“Let’s hope they rub off on each other.”

Silence descends again before Eve gestures at the hall. “Well, now tell me: What do you think about my new paintings?”

My gaze lingers on a picture with a humongous grasshopper, crawling out of the mouth of a young man.

I am wondering what Remy or Sean would say if I convinced them to come here.

Something tells me I might get disowned by both of them.

“They are grotesque,” I say honestly. “And slightly unbecoming. Disturbing. Yet, I can’t tear my gaze away. ”

“Good,” he nods. “Thank you.”

“How come you appreciate my feedback but no one else does?” I ask, remotely remembering the way Sean glared at me when he heard I commented on Remy’s essay.

“Simple. Because I asked for it,” he says. “Care for dinner? It’s on me.”

“Sure, I am actually pretty hungry.”

Eve chuckles. “When I showed Kata and Joel the exhibition, they both said they felt too sick to have any food. And Kata loves my art, usually. But you—”

“I am special,” I say. “Nothing stops me from eating!”

“How about we go for Korean barbeque?” he offers.

“And that’s why you are my best friend!” I exclaim. “Well, technically, you are my only friend.”

“Don’t fret it,” Eve says. “I am not particularly sociable either. You are pretty much the only person, besides my siblings, I like to hang out with.”

“How come?”

“Huh?”

“Sorry for asking such a pathetic question,” I say. “But honestly, no one really likes to hang out with me. So, I have always wondered why you do.”

“You don’t waste my time, you come to the point, you are not offended when I tell you my opinion. Interacting with you is incredibly easy.” He looks at me. “Let’s go, I am hungry, too.”

I follow him back outside and through a shady side alley to a tiny restaurant. “How do you always find these places?” I mutter. “Anyone else would fear for their life.”

“I got lost last week and stumbled into it,” he says. “Simple as that. The food is good.”

“Well, if you say so.”

The place is as shady as it was on first glance, but the owner greets us politely, and Eve was right, the food looks amazing. We are the only guests, so we don’t have to wait long and, soon, are able to dig in.

“How are the tutor sessions going?” I ask after a while. My original plan was to ask Remy, but I doubt he would answer me. He tends to evade me sometimes. If only I knew why.

Eve shrugs. “Good, I guess.”

Something about the way he said it raises my suspicions. “So, it’s not going too well?”

“I just said it’s good,” he points out. “Why do you think that?”

“You sounded off.”

“No, I didn’t,” he says. “You are just interpreting too much into my words.”

“But—”

“Gabe, two young people who met each other for the first time are not instantly going to be best friends. Kata finally has a plan for her college classes thanks to your brother. Everything else will happen naturally. Give them some time to get to know each other.”

“Remy really needs a friend like your sister,” I point out. “He only hangs out with his childhood friends and barely meets anyone.”

“Like I said: Give it time. Kata befriends everyone. Meanwhile, they are working on her marks, which is what I hired Remy for anyway.”

“Still, if I can do anything—”

“Goddess, sometimes you are so stubborn,” Eve says. “Just give it a rest and let your brother be. Meddling in his personal affairs will only lead you to getting estranged more. Eat some more meat instead, or have a drink, or both.”

Sleep doesn’t come to me tonight. My talk with Eve keeps swirling in my mind.

It’s not just the creepy pictures and my worry for my younger brother that keep me awake, but also what he said about love.

Now that I think about it, I have never really been in love either.

I think I had a crush in high school once, but I was so preoccupied with not alerting my father about what I was doing that I never pursued the girl.

And when he died, I only had some loose affairs, mostly with women who were traveling.

I was their holiday flirt, and that’s exactly how I preferred it.

I just wonder why I can’t feel. I don’t feel much at all, unless it’s for my two brothers or for Eve.

They’re the only three people I’d say I love, and I care for Beta Levi, but most people I prefer not to engage with on a personal level.

It’s like I am stunted.

Something is off. Shouldn’t I long for a loving mate?

Somehow, the thought of having someone close to me all the time terrifies me.

Eve doesn’t seem to be too bothered by it, but that’s just the person he is.

He is always in his own zone. Things that lie on other people’s minds, things that bother them, mundane things, don’t faze him.

He seems to be so content with who he is and how he lives.

How did he achieve that? I should probably ask him about it.

I sigh, switching off the small light at my desk and getting up.

When I am like this, there is no chance of getting anything done.

I am usually very good at blocking out all my surroundings, even my mind, and just focusing on work.

It’s what I love doing the most, but in rare moments like this, it’s useless.

I will just make mistakes. And mistakes will either cost me time or money.

Trying to be as silent as possible, I make my way out of the office and towards the bathroom.

It’s 2 a.m. and both Sean and Remy have retired to bed already, so I don’t want to wake them.

Sean is used to staying up late, but he is also very diligent with a healthy schedule, claiming he can’t lead his pack properly if he is constantly sleep-deprived.

Remy also needs his sleep, to help his mind and body rest and find his connection to his wolf spirit.

I hate that I can’t find out what’s wrong with him.

All my brain’s power and IQ, and Sean’s many connections, don’t seem to be able to find help for our brother.

I hate it. It seems we can help everyone around us, but the one person most important to us. I know it’s eating at Sean, too.

My ears catch some noise in the distance. It’s very low, but my wolf alerts me instantly. It seems like someone is in the kitchen. I swiftly make my way there to see if there is a problem or if someone needs help. To my surprise, I stumble into Remy there. “Remy?” I whisper, startling him.

He turns around, looking at me through shocked eyes, and with a hint of guilt and fear in them. Why does he look at me that way? I thought Sean and I had trust issues, but by the goddess, he is even worse.

“I was hungry,” he says after a while.

“Well, that’s fine,” I try to reassure him. “Your body is still growing.” Maybe that’s a good sign? If he is hungry, then maybe his wolf is getting stronger, too. Remy, unfortunately, isn’t a big eater anyway.

Silence lingers around us, and I watch Remy hesitantly grab a piece of bread and put butter on it. “Is that all you eat?” I ask, just out of curiosity. If he wants something else, I could maybe contact one of the guards to bring us something from the kitchen in the packhouse.

Remy seems to shrink back for a moment, then the poker face is in place again, and he nods.

“Just wanted a bite of something. Breakfast is in a couple of hours anyway.” His poker face might even be better than Sean’s.

Both are good at having a blank expression without showing what they truly think, but while Sean is just stoic, he shows more emotions.

Remy, meanwhile, seems to hide behind a mask.

“How is your hand?” I ask. “Is it better?”

Remy has it still wrapped and raises it slightly to show me. “It’s a lot better, just keeping it wrapped to be safe.”

Again, silence engulfs us. It’s so uncomfortable, I have to fight the urge to squirm. Why is it so awkward? This is my little brother. It should be easy to hold a normal conversation with him!

“How are your tutoring sessions with Katalina going?” I ask him, shifting the topic.

It doesn’t seem to have been the right choice, though, because Remy furrows his brows slightly and overall looks like he just wants to leave the conversation. “Good,” he says.

“Just good?” I ask.

“I have only met her two times,” he says, a tad annoyed. “I don’t have much to say yet.”

“I am just asking,” I explain. “You are nice to her, aren’t you?”

I can almost see the blinds being pulled down again, and any emotion is gone from Remy’s face. He wears that blank expression that terrifies me sometimes because it’s so similar to how his mom looked before she passed. “Why do you think I am not polite to her?” he asks.

“Why do you always suspect the worst of me?” I ask.

“ Me suspecting the worst of you ?” Remy asks in return. “You were the one implying I am not polite to her.”

“I was just asking.”

“No one is ever just asking.”

I am stunned. I have no idea where I went wrong again, and why this seemingly innocent conversation is turning into an argument. Before I can reply, the light gets switched on, and Sean steps into the kitchen.

Now, at night, he looks even more imposing, and he doesn’t look too happy to have found us here either, which just adds to his whole stern expression.

“You are up?” I ask.

“I am a light sleeper,” he says shortly.

“I am sorry,” Remy says quietly, his whole persona shifting now that Sean is here. It’s always like that. He is much more approachable when Sean talks to him, whereas I feel like someone with a contagious disease. “For waking you.”

“Hardly your fault alone.” The gaze Sean tosses me says it all. “Do you two still need anything?”

“No,” Remy says, holding his plate. “I just came for something to eat and a glass of water.”

“And I just heard noises,” I add.

“Good, then let’s go back to sleep,” Sean orders. He pauses, looking at us both through his broody eyes. “Be nicer to each other,” he says.

None of us says anything for a moment. I, for one, have no idea what to say, because I am always damn nice to Remy. I just want so badly for him to be more open towards me, but he never reciprocates.

“I am trying,” Remy says.

“I know,” Sean answers, shockingly. “But maybe you could both try a bit more.”

Remy contemplates his words. “Alright,” he says. “Good night.”

Sean waits for him to have retreated before turning to me. “Goddess, Gabe, do you have to argue in the middle of the night?” he asks me.

“We didn’t argue.”

“It certainly looked and felt like it,” he says. “I could have cut the tension with a knife! What was so important that you had to talk to him about it in the middle of the night?”

“Nothing, I just asked him about his hand, and then wanted to know how tutoring with Katalina is going, and if he is nice to her.”

“Goddess, Gabe,” Sean groans.

“What? I was just trying to make conversation. He is never talking to me!”

“I know,” Sean says. “Listen, I am tired, too. Let’s end this for tonight and talk about it tomorrow.”

“Maybe you are right,” I mutter.

We don’t say anything else, just retreat to our bedrooms. This didn’t work out too well. Eve was right. I should have just let it rest, now, I might have made everything worse, as usual.