Page 24 of My Broken Mate (Healing Bonds #1)

Chapter fifteen

Look At Me!

*KAT*

“ K at, do you want something from the buffet?” Fi asks. “Everything looks so amazing. I need to grab some more.”

“As much as this gala terrifies me, the food is nailing it,” Ayden agrees.

“You two go and grab something,” I tell them. “I will wait.”

Fi nods, while Ayden tosses me a surprised gaze. I didn’t even say I wanted to go for a second round of food. He links me.

I know, but please?

I secretly glance at Remy, who is currently sipping at a glass of wine and seems to be alone for a minute. Ayden understands immediately. “I wouldn’t mind one of those pastries they just brought out,” he says all of a sudden. “And the dessert! Let’s go, Fiona.”

Fi beams. She looks an angel as usual, but with the dress and makeup, she manages to look more mature, something I know makes her incredibly happy.

She is fine the way she is, but we all have our insecurities, and I am just happy for her that she is confident tonight.

When Ayden and her walk towards the buffet, some of the unmated wolves even check her out.

Go, get them, Fi!

I remind myself that instead of worrying about my friends, I should worry about myself.

Marise, give me strength!

You can do it, Marise reassures me, clearly excited to finally get down to our mate-problem.

If only I had more experience with dating, then I could maybe give myself a push and find some courage. Maybe I should drink a glass or two, and then—

The moment I have that thought, I shake it off again. I am strong without anything giving me courage.

I am not weak.

People will still like me even when I make mistakes. They won’t hate me when I say no or when I feel exhausted from helping them with all their needs.

They will still like me.

Or, they won’t.

I shake my head once more to get rid of my intrusive thoughts. Do I really have to spiral into them now? I need to focus fully on Remy and grasp my chance to talk to him. It’s now or never, Kata!

Well, that might be an over exaggeration, because I will see him again for our next tutor session, but it’s different here at the gala with an atmosphere full of tension and everyone ready to mingle and party, and Remy being all on his own.

When I approach him, I feel my chest tightening.

Goddess, he looks so handsome, it takes my breath away.

But more than anything, I am drawn to his eyes.

They are a dark shade of brown, so much so that they almost look black, and they have so much depth in them.

I just want him to look at me, see me and acknowledge me.

I know he doesn’t smile much, but I want to be the person to make him smile. I want to make him happy, if only he’d let me.

“Hello, Remy,” I say, trying to sound steady and confident.

Remy is looking out of one of the huge windows and now shifts his body slightly in my direction. He doesn’t look at me fully, though, just pays me enough attention not to be considered impolite. My heart sinks at that realization.

Why doesn’t he look at me? Why does he never truly look at me? He never sees me. Even when he looks at me, it doesn’t feel like he truly sees me; it’s as though he looks past me.

“It’s lovely to meet you here. You look good,” I add, like the biggest idiot ever. I know I am just humiliating myself at this point, trying to push for a smile and a kind word, so desperately that I am lowering myself to new depths.

Remy doesn’t even seem to listen properly. After what seems like forever, he finally answers. “Thank you,” he says.

“I am sorry,” I say, deciding to push for an answer. “Am I interrupting something? I don’t mean to annoy you.”

“Yeah,” he mutters.

Something inside me snaps. Okay, fine, I am done, asshole! Who are you to tell me I am a disturbance? Who are you to treat me like I am trash?

Of course, I don’t tell him this to his face.

I would never dare to upset someone like that, but I make a point of just muttering a bye and turning around to leave.

On my way, I grab one of the cocktails and make a beeline to the buffet to take the heaviest, calorie-richest dessert they have, completely ignoring Ayden and Fi, who watch me in surprise.

“Kat?” Ayden finally asks after I have gobbled down the dessert and gone for a second one.

“I am just hungry!”

Fi and Ayden keep watching me until I feel like I might burst if I eat one more piece of cake. Only then, Fi grabs me and pulls me away with Ayden hot on our heels.

“What’s wrong, Kat?” Fi asks, while pulling me towards the corridor leading to the restroom furthest away from the party. Here it’s quieter. There is no one around, fortunately, so we won’t make a scene. “You are acting weird. Did something happen?”

Ayden looks around with a frown. “She is right. Everything okay?” He looks at me worriedly, before searching the hall again. He probably put two and two together, but Remy is nowhere to be seen. “Where did Remy go?”

“Remy? Don’t tell me you are crushing on our handsome, mysterious boy?” Fi asks curiously.

“Why would I?” I snap. If only it were a fucking crush, but this guy is my mate.

My mate! It doesn’t matter how I turn and twist it, and if sometimes I can’t smell him well enough to tell, but deep down, my wolf and I already know!

A crush I could get over with, but my mate, not even showing me a bit of recognition!

“He is driving me insane! He is so stuck-up and barely talks to me. He doesn’t eat my food, no matter what I prepare for him, and he constantly declines anything I offer.

He is arrogant and emotionally completely unavailable.

He treats me like shit! Who does he think he is?

So, what if my family isn’t of old money, and if Joel wasn’t born alpha?

We are as good as his family is! I don’t get what I did to him to deserve that treatment! ”

“Kat,” Fi says quietly. “I wasn’t aware. I am so sorry.”

“This is not your fault,” I mutter. “It’s his. He is a jerk.” I brush through my hair. “To think I need to continue these tutor sessions with him.”

“Can’t you quit?” she asks.

“Quit on Alpha Sean’s little brother?” I ask bluntly.

“You are right,” Ayden says. “It’s impossible and would be a political disaster for Sean, but… hey… Fi and I have your back. Let’s make sure to get you out of this as fast as possible. You only need to catch up with your classes, and you don’t have to see him ever again!”

“Right,” I mutter before nodding, mostly to convince myself. “Right! I can do this. Fuck that guy.”

Just that he is still my mate… asshole or not.

Goddess, why can’t I spend one minute without thinking about him?

I grab Fi and Ayden’s arms and tug them along. “I want to dance now.”

Ayden falls back for a moment as if something caught his attention.

“You okay, Ayden?” Fi asks.

“Yes,” he mutters. “I just thought…” He pauses, shaking his head. “Never mind. Let’s go and dance.”

I am curious as to what he wanted to say, but don’t push it. Frankly, I am done with this evening and just want to forget what happened.

*REMY*

“Here you are,” Kiki whispers when she sees me stepping out of the restroom. “I was really worried.”

“I am sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” I say, pressing my palm against my head.

“Is your headache still not better?” she asks in worry.

“No, it’s still bordering on a migraine,” I admit. I can barely talk, let alone look at anything, but I need to keep pretending for the remainder of the evening, like I did from the beginning.

“Let’s take a walk,” she suggests. “We can step onto the terrace for some fresh air.”

I offer her my arm instead of an answer, glad when she takes it. It’s more for me as support instead of her. I have been clinging to her almost all evening, constantly scared of a breakdown otherwise.

“Remy,” she whispers. “Smile. They are looking at us.”

I do as she tells me, pulling the edges of my lips up while stepping out onto the terrace. The cold evening air hits me, indeed, making it easier for me to breathe. I let out a shaky breath. “I apologize for depending so much on you tonight,” I say.

“And I am sorry I have to force you to pretend you are fine while you aren’t,” she says.

For a moment, she gazes out into the night sky, looking like a beautiful sculpture.

As usual, a lot of single men spotted her tonight and tried to get her attention, but she didn’t flirt or dance with anyone; instead, she stuck with me.

“Listen, Kiki,” I say. “I don’t want you to miss out on the whole evening. There is a plethora of very available men in there who would die to dance with you or even just talk to you.”

“I don’t really care,” she says. “It’s just superficial. They have either seen me in a magazine or heard I work as a model. It’s the sole reason they are attracted to me, but I don’t want that. I want a connection.” She smiles at me. “Do you think I am the most beautiful person in the room today?”

Like a flash in front of my inner eye, I can see Kata. She looks amazing tonight.

“I don’t know,” I say, not wanting to upset Kiki, but not so sure what I am supposed to answer either.

“See? And that’s fine!” she says. “I don’t need to be the most beautiful person in the room.

And I am sticking with you because you are the only one not creeping me out.

” She tilts her head to the side, eyeing me curiously.

“So, who is the most beautiful person tonight? You have someone in mind, don’t you? ”

I feel all color being drained from my face again. Even hearing her name or saying it out loud makes my stomach queasy. Until tonight, I didn’t even notice I acted that terribly towards her.

“Remy,” Kiki sounds alarmed. “Are you okay? You are white as a sheet. You have been all evening, but it’s worse now.” She frowns. “Did something happen? It did, didn’t it? Tell me!”

“I don’t think I want to talk about it yet,” I say.

“Alright,” she says. “But this is not good. You look sick. I am going to look for Alpha Sean and tell him we are going home early.”

I grab her arm before she can leave. “No, please don’t.”

“But—”

“This evening is important for him, I can’t leave,” I say. “I will push through it, don’t worry.”

“You always say that,” she mutters. “ Don’t worry. Yet, I am incredibly worried.”

Before I can retort anything, Lyle comes rushing towards us. He is completely breathless. “Remy, Kiki! Here you are!”

“What happened?” I ask, alarmed. “Are you okay?”

Kiki looks similarly worried. “Did something happen?”

“She is here,” he exclaims. “By the goddess, she is here!”

Kiki and I exchange a surprised gaze before I turn to look at him. “Wait, are you talking about—”

“My mate!”

“No way!” Kiki squeals.

“Who is it?” I ask.

He quietly leads us to the door leading back inside, and gestures towards a small group surrounding an alpha I am not really familiar with. He looks intimidating enough for others not to approach him. “She is one of the young women with him.”

“Who is that alpha?” Kiki wants to know.

“I don’t know. I think he is from a pack in the North, though,” I say, noting how Sean is currently talking to him. It fills my chest with pride to see him like that. No other alpha dared to approach that scary-looking guy, but Sean did!

“Go and talk to her,” I push.

He looks at me, probably only really taking notice of me now.

He spent the beginning of the evening with Kiki and me, but eventually got dragged away by some of his friends.

I didn’t want to stop him, actually, with my fucking head haunting me, it was easier for me only talking to one of my friends at a time.

“Man, you don’t look too good. I am going to stay with you and—”

“No, you are going to seek out your mate and talk to her,” I say.

“He is right. I will be staying with Remy, don’t worry,” Kiki reassures him.

Lyle looks torn.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I say. “This is important. She is your mate! Go and talk to her, let her know that you’ve acknowledged her. I bet she is waiting for you to do it, as she for sure sensed you, too. Just imagine how bad it’d look if you didn’t even acknowledge her!”

“Listen to him,” Kiki pushes. “If my mate didn’t even acknowledge my existence, I would be mad!”

“What she said,” I point out. “If I met my mate, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second.”

“Me neither,” Kiki agrees.

“Okay!” He takes a deep breath, actually looking relieved. “How do I look?”

“Fantastic,” I assure him.

“Alright!” He straightens his shoulders. “Here goes nothing.”

“Lyle,” I say. “Don’t scare away from her broody alpha. Claim your mate. I know this type of guy, it’s a lot about show. They want you to be bold and not scared. Think of her, and not of anyone else.”

“You are right,” he says. “I didn’t think our upbringing would be beneficial one day, but look at us now. At least we can play the game.”

With that, he finally walks forward, and I am proud to say he does so with confidence. He doesn’t look at anyone else but her. It helps that Sean is there too right now, and as his alpha, his presence alone gives Lyle the confidence he needs.

I see them talking briefly.

“Can you hear anything?” I ask Kiki. “My senses aren’t good enough.”

“Just a little. Lyle just introduced himself to the group.”

I watch curiously how the she-wolf, his mate, steps forward now. She smiles, obvious relief lining her every feature.

“It’s obvious she was just waiting for him to go to her,” Kiki chuckles. “She was probably worried her scary alpha, and the fact that they are neither a well-established nor popular pack attending here, would limit her chances.”

Said scary alpha doesn’t seem to mind that Lyle just claimed someone from his pack, much to my relief.

If she is with him, she must be of high rank or at least born into it.

The girl now takes Lyle’s arm and walks off with him.

Some younger attendees are cheering at them now, and Lyle looks so happy that it warms my heart.

“Look at him,” Kiki chuckles. “Do you think it will be the same for us?”

“I don’t know,” I say. “It’s the first time I see first-hand how someone meets their mate.” I don’t have the heart to tell her that I doubt there is a mate out there for me, but it’s the truth that I don’t have any comparison so far.

I feel a new wave of nausea hitting me and step out again into the cool air. It’s still not better. Why? Usually, my migraines pass much faster, but tonight the pain is so persistent.