Page 51 of My Broken Mate (Healing Bonds #1)

Chapter thirty-nine

The Monster Under My Skin

*KAT*

I t pains me a little that I can’t tell my family and friends what we are up to—we switched our phones off, so as not to be tracked—but I am slowly beginning to understand that Remy needs to do this on his own terms. My mind goes in all directions, wondering what it is he is trying to face, and nothing I come up with is particularly soothing.

“Shouldn’t we tell someone?” I ask quietly. “They will be worried sick.”

“I left a note,” Remy says. “On my desk. I am sure by now either Gabriel or Sean will have found it.”

My head perks up.

“Sorry,” he says softly. “I should have told you earlier. You must have been worrying so much about them.”

“When we were waiting for you to come to the lecture, I pretended like I just received a message from you.”

“You gave me an alibi?”

“Yes, and I pulled it off. Cool, huh?”

“Very.” He smiles at me in a way that makes my stomach do backflips. “And smart, too. They will know you are with me now, and that it was all planned. Or that you decided to join me spontaneously. It’s fine either way.”

We get up as the train stops. I can feel his fingers wrapping tightly around my hand.

He has not hesitated with any decision he’s made during the last couple of hours, since the train took off.

I am oddly fascinated by his sudden spout of quiet confidence, needless to say, it makes him very attractive.

We need to take a stop midway in a tiny town. We would have ridden the whole way without a stop, but unfortunately, we need to change trains, and the next one doesn’t leave for a couple of hours.

“I have something to ask,” I start.

My handsome mate looks at me. “Of course, go ahead.”

“I-” I stare at his lips, wishing to taste them. In response, he reaches out his hand, cupping my cheek, his thumb brushing over my lower lip. “I was thinking about calling you Remus,” I say. “Only if you like it, though.”

He looks surprised.

“What do you think about that, Remus?”

Something flashes in his eyes; he moves his hand to the back of my head, his grip tightening before pulling me forward and claiming my lips.

“I take that as a yes,” I grin.

“Isn’t it weird for you?”

“Not at all,” I say. “I love the name. I might slip here and there, though.”

“That’s okay.” He takes my hand, leading me over the only road leading from the train station to the small town.

We stop to grab something to eat first, and then visit a shop that seems to sell everything, and grab some items for me.

I came completely unprepared, but now have two sets of clothes to change into, a toothbrush, and other smaller necessities.

Then we search for a place to stay the night.

The only hotel, more like a bed & breakfast, is a tiny old building that looks rather run-down.

Inside, it’s clean and tidy, though, and the owner promises us a breakfast early in the morning before we need to leave.

The room is an adventure of its own, however.

Remus and I exchange a glance before bursting into laughter.

There are flowery wallpapers everywhere, the blanket and pillows have frills and ruffles, the curtains are thick with roses and chickens all over, and the carpet covering the floor is in a rich, rose tone.

To top it all, the design of the bedding has little kittens all over it.

We drop our backpacks, still in awe of the room. “This is fascinating,” Remus says.

“That’s one way to put it.” I chuckle.

“I guess for one night I will cope,” he says, clearly sounding amused now. “The old lady sounded nice.” He stretches. “I guess I will take a bath.”

I nod, sitting down at the edge of the bed. “I will go after you.”

“Or…” He looks at me. “You could join me. That is if you want to.”

My heart makes one of its rapidly-becoming, regular leaps.

I should have gotten used to it by now, but I haven’t.

Every time I am in Remus’ vicinity, it seems like my body betrays me and wants things it has never wanted before.

It longs for him. It’s this longing that makes me feel slightly embarrassed, too.

A hint of insecurity flashes in Remus’s eyes. It makes me realize that he probably feels the same as I do. He might be embarrassed and nervous as well. Before he can act on his nerves, I get up and take off my shirt, secretly thanking Ayden for forcing me to go on birth control, just in case.

‘ Just in case’ happens to be now, it seems.

Remus follows suit, slowly taking his shirt off, revealing his upper body to me.

He is surprisingly toned, not that I would have minded if he weren’t.

I know Sean put together a training schedule for him to bond with his wolf.

I wait for Remus to step forward. “I don’t have a ton of experience,” I mutter.

“I had like one guy who was my boyfriend for a week before he found someone better.”

“It’s the same for me. I was loosely dating so that I wouldn’t need to be home much,” he says, wrapping his arms around my middle and pulling me closer.

His hands wander into the back pocket of my jeans, resting there on my ass, while I wrap mine around his neck, for the first time feeling my skin against his, and fuck, the tingles are driving me insane with want.

Remus draws back a little, just enough to take my hand and lead me to the bathroom.

They don’t have a shower here, just a tub, albeit a pretty spacious one.

The bathroom is in the same corny design as the room, the tiles with big flowers printed on them and the towels in a screeching yellow with horses all over them.

It’s silly, but it also takes the pressure off me a little.

I watch Remus filling the tub with warm water, my longing for him only getting stronger.

I have had dates before, and had sex before, but nothing ever felt as intimate as this.

Remus’ gaze follows me while I undress. I would blush furiously if there wasn’t something heated and hungry in his eyes, burning all my embarrassment away.

Once I settle in the tub, he follows my lead, one piece of clothing after another falling until he is completely naked.

My breath gets stuck in my throat when I see him. He is so incredibly handsome, I feel like an ugly duckling next to him. Although he doesn’t make me feel like one, he makes me feel like the sun is shining out of me. Remus settles behind me in the tub and pulls me into his arms.

“Before we do anything,” he says. “I want you to know more about me. You shared so much with me, and I feel it’s only fair if I do the same.”

I let my fingers wander over his arm. “I haven't shared everything yet.”

“I shared nothing,” he says. “I want you to know the truth.” He pauses. “What do you know about my father? I mean, aside from him being a brutal leader.”

“He was abusive,” I say. “I heard he was really cruel to Sean, and particularly to Gabriel. His first mate, Sean’s and Gabriel’s mother, died from an illness.

Then he met your mother, and it’s said he was obsessed with her.

I don’t know how exactly she died, only that she committed suicide. There are so many rumors.”

Remus’s hand brushes over my shoulder. “Sean’s and Gabriel’s mom did die from an illness, but only because he weakened her so much.

I don’t know the details. I wasn’t around yet.

But she basically gave up and couldn’t continue anymore, so her body gave in.

That’s how awful he was.” He pauses, his hand stiffening before he continues to touch my arm.

“It’s true that he was obsessed with my mother.

Obsessed. Crazy. He owned her. He took everything from her whenever he wanted, however he wanted it.

One of my earliest memories is of her pushing me behind her, because he threatened to kill me when she wouldn’t sleep with him.

Over time, his threats changed, got creepier. ”

I need a while for his words to sink in. “By the goddess,” I whisper.

“One day, Mom had enough. I think she just couldn’t do it anymore.

She took me and ran, but where to? She had nowhere to run.

She took me to a place she thought would be safe, but it was only safe for a few days.

There was no place where she could have hidden away from a man as powerful as he was.

She knew he was coming, so she killed herself before he could find her.

” He wraps his arms around me as if he is holding onto me.

“I think part of her wanted to kill me, too, to save me from him, but I guess she couldn’t do it.

My memories of these days are very vague.

” He pauses. “But I do remember having her hands around my throat at one point.”

My mind has gone completely numb at his words, and slowly, the puzzle pieces are fitting together. I remember how closed off he was when we met, how repulsed he was when someone got too close to him. “His threats…” I mutter, not able to continue.

“I look a lot like my mother,” he says. “He… he was insane. When she died, he completely lost it. It’s true that he beat Sean and Gabriel, and it’s also true that I was his favorite in some way.

He didn’t hit me as much as he hit my brothers.

However,… sometimes he would forget that my mom had died.

In times like those, it felt like he was in a complete psychosis. ”

“No way,” I whisper.

“He would mistake her for me, then.” Another pause. “Sean and Gabriel don’t know,” he finally adds. “I never told them what he did to her, and to me.”

My mouth drops open when I finally understand what he is telling me. My stomach revolts as the severity of his confession comes crashing down. That’s why he never talked about his past to anyone, and why not even his brothers know what happened.

What a monster!

His father was a true monster from the depths of hell!