Page 16 of My Broken Mate (Healing Bonds #1)

Chapter nine

The Three Musketeers

*REMY*

I am doing it for my brother. I want to help. I just don’t know how, and so I thought this might be it.

Katalina…

No one calls me Katalina. You can call me Kat or Kata.

Goddess, why can’t I switch my mind off and stop thinking about everything she said and did?

I have never met someone like her. Sincere to a degree, it’s almost insane!

Who would even admit to their own failures like she does?

Why is she so trusting and so bubbly? She told me everything about her, and she was so friendly.

People usually aren’t friendly with me. They are polite, curious even, but not friendly. But there is a warmth to Kata I can’t explain, and it feels so fucking genuine that it scares the shit out of me. It’s—

A wave of pain hits me all of a sudden; it’s as if something is gnawing on my mind.

“Remy?” Gabe’s voice reaches me. “What’s wrong?” I can hear footsteps coming closer, until I can feel his presence around me.

“My head,” I breathe out.

“Tell me what I can do!” he exclaims. “What do you need? I will call the pack doctor!”

“No,” I blurt out. “Just water.”

I don’t need to see him to know he is hesitating.

For a moment, I can see Kata’s expression in front of me, the sincere look in her eyes, the smile, but I can’t bring myself to do the same when I am interacting with someone.

Not even with my own brother. “Just one of my migraines,” I add, forcing my hand away and pretending like the pain is subsiding.

“Oh,” Gabe says. “Okay. Alright, let me fetch you some water. Do you have your meds?”

“Yes,” I say, trying to stop my voice from trembling while I wait for him to bring me a glass of water.

Once I have it, I retreat to my room where I finally feel like I can be myself.

With a groan, I drop down on my knees next to my bed, leaning my head against the bed frame.

Fuck, what is this headache? It’s like my head is going to explode any moment.

It’s worse than when I have my panic attacks or my migraines. This is different.

I force myself to drink some of the cold water and take my usual meds.

I have had migraines since I turned eighteen.

No one knows why. Sean and the doctors think it might be because of my wolf, but I doubt it.

I can’t feel him anywhere. I am just broken, and, apparently, everyone around me refuses to accept my reality.

I try to focus on something else, to get my mind off whatever is going on inside me, but I can’t. Instead, I keep focusing on my headache, on the throbbing hammering against my skull, and it seems like focusing on it just makes it worse.

Hearing footsteps in front of my door startles me slightly.

How much time has passed? I drag myself up and into my bed, pretending to be asleep when the door opens slightly.

“Remy?” Sean says. “Gabe said—” He pauses, probably spotting my figure on the bed.

I force my breath to even out to fool him.

I have become a master at it, so I am not surprised it works. Sean silently closes the door again.

The little intermezzo helped me to at least lessen my focus on my headache.

Maybe the distraction or the breathing technique helped.

Yet, the thoughts in my mind are still racing.

I keep lying in my bed, just staring at the opposite wall and unable to bring myself to move an inch, even though I can feel how my headache slowly passes.

I just don’t feel like moving or doing anything; every part of me is exhausted.

My mind, even more so than my body. When I feel a bit more myself again, I gaze at the clock, noticing it’s 3 a.m. already.

The hours have passed so fast. It’s dark outside, but not pitch-black since we are approaching dawn.

I roll onto my back, pressing my hand against my eyes to darken my view.

It’s not worth it to sleep anymore. My mind is tired, but my destructive thoughts still have such a grip on me that they won’t let me rest. I might as well get up.

Silently, I make it out of my room, almost stumbling over a plate in front of my door.

There are snacks on it and orange juice.

One of my brothers must have left it here, too afraid to wake me up.

The knowledge that they still care about me, although I am so useless, makes my chest clench. How am I deserving of it?

After bringing the plate into my room, I silently make my way to the bathroom to freshen up and to take a swift shower, glad that our rooms are all so far apart that we barely notice each other during the day, let alone at night.

Once I feel like myself again, I return to my room, switching on one of the smaller lights and grab my books. I might as well get some studying done.

*KAT*

I drag myself to breakfast, barely awake and certain that I look like a mummy, and not like the hot one from the movie.

Eve spots me, instantly switching on the coffee machine and grabbing a pan. “You look tired, Kata. Everything okay? I will make breakfast for you.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” I admit. “Something kept me awake. I don’t know what. It felt like my mind was racing.” I frown. “Felt totally weird.”

“Is there a lot on your mind?” Eve wants to know.

“I mean, sure, there is stuff I think about, but it just felt so weird, as if the thoughts weren’t mine, but they were. Does that make sense?”

“Not really,” Eve admits. “But that doesn’t make it less real. Keep an eye on it, okay? Are you well now?”

“Yep, much better,” I admit.

“Too well for my special breakfast?” Eve asks.

I make huge eyes at him. “On second thought, I feel terrible, so please, make your special breakfast.”

“Did I hear something about breakfast?” Joel calls out as he comes rushing to the kitchen. “Hah!” He exclaims when he sees us. “I knew you were talking about food!” He throws himself on the chair next to me in a dramatic gesture. “You always forget about me.”

“Are you serious?” Eve snarls. “You always make your presence known! There is no way anyone could forget about you.” When Joel makes huge puppy eyes at him, he caves, though.

“Fine, you will get my special breakfast as well.” He shakes his head.

“I can’t believe this strategy worked twice on me today. ”

“Thank you, Eve,” Joel says before turning to me. “Now tell me about your tutor session with Remy. I am dying to know.”

At his question, I can almost see Eve’s ears perking up, the curiosity all too evident.

Well, none of my brothers are particularly subtle, never have been.

For a moment, I contemplate telling them what happened, namely that I met my mate, but he didn’t respond to my very existence or that things feel so off that neither Marise nor I is sure if it truly happened.

But Joel and Evander are both peculiar about their own mate situation, and I feel like this is something I can’t really share with them.

Besides, I don’t want to add to my list of failures by admitting that my mate is ignoring me, or that my wolf and I can’t tell with certainty that he even is my mate. That would be a first. Mates usually can tell they are mates, but of course, I even fail at something so simple.

So, I focus on telling them about how the tutoring itself went. “He is polite,” I tell them. “But boy, he is so closed off! It’s so weird. He was asking questions, and I answered each of them, but when I asked something—”

“He didn’t answer?” Joel queries.

“No, he did, just, there was no meat to his answer. He did answer, but thinking back to it now, I can’t even properly remember what he said. It’s impossible to read him.”

“Yeah,” Joel mutters, the look in his eyes more distant all of a sudden. “I think I understand what you are talking about.”

“Hm,” Eve says before approaching Joel and me with two humongous plates, with ham, eggs and sausages on them, and pancakes and French toast on the side. He sits down with us. “He is very distant,” he explains. “At least from what I understood. Gabriel told me that he is quite shy.”

Is he? I try to think of my meeting with Remy, and I wonder if shy is truly the right word. “More like introverted, maybe,” I say, but not feeling that word either. “I don’t know. I feel like it’s much more complicated than your friend thinks it is.”

“But he is Remy’s older brother,” Eve chuckles.

“So?” I ask. “There are things siblings don’t know of each other, and sometimes it’s hard to read someone, especially because they are so close to each other.”

At my words, Joel and Eve both stay silent for a moment. “Maybe you are right,” Joel says thoughtfully.

“All the more reason—” Eve starts just to get interrupted by Joel.

“KATA!” Joel exclaims, grabbing my arm and shaking it. “This boy clearly has a broken heart! You need to mend it! Save the damsel in distress! You are the charming princess on a white horse, riding to—”

“Have you lost your marbles?” Eve snaps and fortunately interrupts him, before Joel can finish spinning his cheesy head-movie. “Goddess, Joel, please, just eat your breakfast.”

“You two have no sense for romance,” Joel complains.

At his words, my heart seems to stop beating, but once again, Eve saves me. “Why are you talking romantics? Nowhere did Kata say she wants to date him, or vice versa.”

“Still, wouldn’t it be nice?” Joel sighs. “I could hit it off with Alpha Sean ‘Hot Ass’ Temple, Kata could date Remy, and you could court Gabriel.”

Eve furrows his brows. “You are starting to piss me off. Why would I court Gabe? We are friends, and neither of us is gay.”

“As far as you know.”

“Well, I know for certain that I am not into guys,” Eve says. “Did you drink too much last night? What’s going on for you to be this annoying?”

I listened to the whole exchange with an open mouth. Joel is known for spouting all kinds of nonsense, often also to distract us from something or to raise the mood. I do think at times it is a strategy he very skillfully uses; however, sometimes he truly can be silly.

Yet he has never said so much bullshit at once. Something about it is so hilarious, I can’t help but start giggling. “Goddess, be glad that Eve and I have your back. Just imagine we would secretly record you and show the video to the pack.”

“You wouldn’t,” Joel pouts.

“I actually am so close to doing it,” Eve mutters.

“Oh, Sandwich,” Joel sighs. “Don’t be so jealous of my charm!”

“What charm?” Eve exclaims.

Joel finally breaks character and bursts into laughter. “You two are so easy to mess around with.”

“I can’t believe it,” I say.

“Actually, the fact that we could so easily be tricked should be a warning sign to you,” Eve tells Joel. “Seriously, both Kata and I believed it was very much in character for you to act like that.”

Joel ignores him and turns to me. “Kata,” he says. “I meant it. If anyone could break this boy’s shell, it’s you. You won’t even need a white stallion to ride to him and save him. I bet you can do it like you always do.”

“What do I do?” I ask, confused.

“You are a genuinely good person and people subconsciously notice that,” Joel says. “That’s why they usually build up trust in you. Remy will, too.”

I blink at him for a moment before I laugh. “You are being silly again.”

“He is not,” Eve jumps in. “It just so happens that I agree with him.”

“I am getting whiplash from you two,” I mutter.

“I am just saying, you are awesome, and I bet your positivity will rub off on him,” Joel says.

“You think so?” I ask.

“Definitely, and if nothing helps, just melt his barrier with food.”

“He didn’t even try my cookies,” I admit.

“He didn’t?” Eve ponders. “Then we will have to double our efforts the next time.”

“Make the Kata-approved special chocolate cookies,” Joel says. “They are the best! You can make chocolate ones and—”

“And the blueberry ones in case he doesn’t like chocolate,” I finish his sentence, before high-fiving him. “Good idea, Joel.” With newfound motivation, I jump up, ready to make plans for my next meeting with Remy.

I am Kata, and I am not ready to give up yet!

“I got it,” I blurt out into the silence, making Joel and Eve flinch in surprise. “I will continue to follow our family credo!”

“Exactly,” Joel exclaims, reaching out his hand. I put mine on top of it before we both look at Eve expectantly.

“You can’t be serious,” he sighs. “We are not the three musketeers!”

“Don’t be such a bore, Sandwich,” Joel pushes.

“You are such a bully,” Eve mutters. “I swear, next time I make my infamous cheesecake, it will completely be Kata’s.”

Despite his complaints, he does reach out his hand, putting it on top of mine. We shake them three times. “Never walk past a person in need,” Joel says.

“Never give up,” I add.

“Stand up for each other,” Eve concludes.

Remy, be prepared! Here I come!