Page 59

Fifty-Eight

Killian

One Year Later

I place the white daisies on the grass in front of her grave.

Reign Pierce

Daughter, friend, lover, mom.

A wonderful soul who had the biggest heart in the world.

It’s officially been more than three years since Reign died and this is the first time, I’ve visited her grave.

They buried Reign here in Bulgaria because it’s her home country. I haven’t been back here since I dropped Reign off after we returned from the island.

Since that day she gave me her heart, I haven’t been able to look at the stars or sky the same.

Everything hurts too much, and I hate thinking about all the moments but at the same time, it’s all I think about.

Looking in the mirror hurts the most because I see that stupid fucking scar from the decision Reign made.

“Hi, baby,” I say softly and kneel at her grave. “I finally had the courage to come after so many years. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. I just needed time. But I felt like I needed to come today,” I explain. “My mom died last year, and she told me to see you and ask for another chance. Plus, I met this guy named Hayden Night. He’s a boxer who’s in love with a girl named Jaclyn. You would like them a lot. They are very good people, especially Jaclyn. She’s been through a lot but she’s strong.” I sigh and try to hold back my tears. “I wish you were here to meet them and know their story. They’ve both been through a lot and Hayden is probably my best friend. He’s special to me but I’ll never say that to him.”

Hayden is my second in command for the Mafia. He used to just be one of my underground fighters that made me money but long story short, he ended up getting promoted. I met him through Rowan because I guess Hayden is his little brother. So, we just got closer over time from hanging out. Him and Jaclyn are in love and have a little boy and soon another baby as well.

Seeing their love makes me jealous, because why can’t I have that?

“Things without you are hell, Reign. I miss you so much and looking in the mirror where your heart is breaks me everyday. I don’t know how I’m still here. It hurts, you know. Having your heart inside me hurts. It doesn’t feel right. I’m not mad at you, I could never be mad at you because you were just trying to help. God, I wish you didn’t. I wish you would have just left me to die,” I say after a tear finally falls. For the first time in three years, I break down at Reign’s grave. “I love you as much as I did three years ago, and I always will. You’d probably hate who I’ve become because I’m nothing like the guy you fell in love with. I blame my dad for everything. We haven’t talked in so long and it’s my fault because I keep pushing him away. I just can’t look at him the same. After you died and my mom died, I went on a killing spree. I know you probably don’t want to hear it but it’s the only thing that made everything stop. I just felt so insane,” I say truthfully. “I haven’t spoken to your family since you passed but now that I’m here, I was hoping today I could see them.”

“You didn’t text me you were here.”

I turn my head and see Malcom with flowers in his hand.

He looks like he’s aged pretty well which I’m not surprised about because Malcom takes care of his body.

I stand from her grave and face him. “Malcom.”

“Welcome back, Killian,” he says, walking towards her grave and placing the flowers down next to mine.

“Wish it was under different circomestances.”

Malcom looks at her grave with sadness in his eyes and touches the stone. “Don’t we all?” he says, more so to himself. He kisses her grave before standing up and facing me. “Can I ask for a favor?”

“Only if I can ask for something in return.”

Malcom shakes his head lightly. “Still an asshole.”

“You didn’t expect any less, did you?” I furrow my eyebrows at him.

“No, I expected you to be worse.”

“Sorry to disappoint.” I shrug.

Malcom sighs before looking at my chest and back to me. “Can I hear her heart?” I don’t hesitate to nod my head. Malcom comes closer and he wraps his arms around me and puts his ear against my chest. I don’t hug him back, I let him do his thing and hear Reign’s heart. I swear I can feel her heart pound hard against my chest. “I hate that you have her heart.” Malcom says, letting go of me.

He wipes a tear and controls his emotions. “I hate it too. I was waiting for death, but she had other plans for me.”

“What are you doing here?”

I place my hands in my pocket and take a deep breath, licking my lips.

My whole body feels like it’s shaking from the anxiety and tension.

There’s only one reason I’m here and I know that Malcom suspects why.

“I want her.”

Malcom immediately knows what I mean, and his eyes turn into slits and his body tense. “No.”

“It wasn’t a question.”

“She isn’t a fucking object that you can give and take back, Killian. She is a kid with organs and feelings. How do you expect her to react when she sees her dad after more than three years of not being in her life?”

I nod my head. “You’re right. She isn’t an object. I know I fucked up but that’s why I’m here trying to do better for her and for Reign.”

“Luna deserves someone who has been there and loved her since the beginning. You weren’t there for the sleepless nights or the constant crying and tantrums, Killian.”

Luna.

My daughter’s name is Luna, just like Reign wanted.

“Luna, that’s her name?” Malcom nods his head. “I know, you’re right. I should have been there from the beginning. It’s not your responsibility to take care of her because she’s mine. You and Lia won’t be around for long, so she needs a dad, not grandparents. I mean that with full respect, I’m just stating the truth.”

“A child is a big responsibility, Killian. They need your attention and love not just for a couple hours or days but forever no matter what. Can you give it to Luna? Can you be both of the parents that she needs? You can not ever just give her back, that’s not how this works.”

“I know. I wasn’t ready then but I’m ready now. I want to meet her, get to know her, love her, everything.”

I’m not fucking perfect.

I know taking care of a child is hard and to be honest I never wanted a child but with Reign, my mind changed.

I would kill for another child with Reign.

“I’ll give her the world if she asks for it.”

Malcom gives me a sad smile. “She doesn’t need the world, Killian. She needs a dad. She needs you. Can you give her that?”

She’s half of Reign and me.

Of course, I will.

“Yes.”