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Forty-Seven

Killian

My mom appears weaker every day.

I come inside her room every day to make sure she is doing okay or to see if she needs anything from me. I never hesitate to get her what she needs or wants.

Ever since I’ve come back from the Caribbean my dad has been bitching and complaining to me about everything. He’s made me do some ridiculous tasks that make no sense and I know he’s doing it to frustrate me and push me.

He’s stressing me the fuck out and sometimes I just don’t leave my room all day because of him. I would ask my mom for help, but she has enough going on to deal with without his and mine’s bullshit.

But being with her makes me feel calm and at ease.

Thalia is living her best life with her husband and kid, so she doesn’t give two shits about family drama unless it’s serious.

She’s supposed to join us for the annual gala which is coming up in less than two weeks.

Time has flown by since Reign and I were last together.

I talk to her every single day. She told me she hasn’t been feeling the best and she’s usually in her room sleeping or eating whatever her grandmom makes for her.

Her dad rarely talks about me, she said. The only time he does is when he’s curious if we’ve been talking and she always tells him that we do.

There’s no point in hiding what we feel for each other because everyone already knows.

I just need to make sure my dad doesn’t do stupid shit to Malcom during the gala, and we can settle on an agreement or alliance.

My dad only wants to kill Malcolm because of his brother.

I haven’t talked to my dad regarding Malcom or his hatred for him because it’s none of my business but if it keeps interfering with my relationship with Reign, then we’re gonna have a problem.

“What are you thinking about, my little devil?” I look down at my mom who is smiling at me, weakly.

I have my arm wrapped around her while she lays against my chest, her ear where my heart is so she can hear it.

Her smile isn’t full of life, and she doesn’t have her usual glow like she did before.

Cancer kills her every day, slow but deadly.

We never know how long she’ll be with us for but we’re hoping that the chemo does its fucking job and helps her, somehow, some way.

“I’m fine.”

“You know you still never told me about that girl,” my mom says in a soft voice. I furrow my eyebrows, wondering how the hell she found out about Reign when I haven’t told her shit. Pretty sure my big mouth dad told her. “Don’t act stupid, Killian. Your dad was shitting bricks for the past month. I’ve been waiting for you to come forward, but you never said a thing. Why?”

I shrug. “Because I want to introduce you to her properly. I don’t want you to know about her until I am able to bring her over and show her to you.”

“Who said you can’t?” My mom furrows her eyebrows at me, appearing offended even though I know she isn’t.

“Dad is kind of-”

“Your dad doesn’t know anything.” She rolls her eyes and shakes her head lightly. “Don’t listen to him. He can be a dick sometimes. He’s just stressed out. He loves you and wants the best for you. My health is just stressing him out because for the first time ever, he can’t do anything to help me and it’s killing him.”

“He’s going to be a mess without you. We all are.”

My mom shakes her head. “Let’s stop talking about it. It’s depressing and I want to hear about this special girl instead.”

I can’t help but smile. “She’s amazing, mom,” I say truthfully. “She has these eyes, these big blue eyes that make you just want to escape. I love staring into her eyes. They just make me feel calm and like everything won’t end up in flames,” I explain while my mom stares up at me with a smile on her face. “She instantly makes me have a better mood whenever she’s around. If she knows I’m stressed or something’s wrong, she’ll do everything she can to make me feel at ease,” I explain. “I love her.”

My mom looks up at me like she’s insanely proud of me and that feels good. I’ve always loved making my mom happy and proud.

“Never thought I’d get to see the day where my youngest falls in love.”

“I’m falling more in love with her every day. She makes me want to become a better person. Her love means everything to me.”

I still don’t know why I would ever risk losing her.

Maybe because I’m scared of the end and how she will end up being alone without me and she’ll end up just hating me and I’d never want Reign to hate me.

That’s the last thing that I would want.

“Does she know?”

My heart instantly races as if it knows.

“No.”

My mom gives me a disapproving look. “She needs to know.”

“I know. I’m just- I’m just scared.”

“I know, but she needs to know so she can prepare herself.”

“I don't want her to have to do that. She shouldn’t have to do that mom,” I try to explain but my mom just shakes her head.

“She needs to know because then when you go, she’ll be even more hurt. Plus, you shouldn’t be here wasting time on your dad’s bullshit. You should spend your time with the person you’re falling in love with. You don’t have that much time-”

I tense instantly. “I know, mom. I’m just scared.”

“Don’t be scared. You’ll ruin what you have. Focus on now because if you don’t, then you’ll never be able to enjoy the present. Enjoy your time with this girl because you never know when your last moment together will be.”

She’s not wrong.

I know she probably thinks about that since she herself doesn’t have much time left.

I know my mom only cries about her time left behind closed doors with my dad only, never in front of Thalia and me.

She can only be weak with my dad.