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Fifty-Three

Reign

Killian,

I want you to first know that I love you. That’s why I did what I did.

You made me genuinely happy and smile like I never have before and for that, I couldn’t be more grateful to have been able to learn about you, love you, hold you, and kiss you.

It’s been around six or so months since you saved me from the fire.

I remember looking into your eyes and I just knew you were damaged in a way. I knew you were going to destroy everything good and beautiful in my life and I let you.

I have fallen for you so hard that I didn’t think of the consequences or maybe I did a little bit, but I didn’t care.

I just wanted to be with you and love you and make you happy and I hope I did.

I remember telling you a few times that I wanted to do something great and meaningful before I go. I wanted to be able to make a huge impact on someone’s life and I guess I am.

I’m not mad at you, I could never be mad at you for not telling me what you were going through. I understand that you maybe wanted to pretend that things were okay for a while.

I only have a few minutes until I have to go into surgery. I’ve called my family and they’re on their way to try and stop me. The doctors are hopefully going to finish the procedure before they get here but I wanted to write this letter before I go.

It was the only thing I asked of them before I die.

I wanted to be able to tell you how grateful I am for meeting you and for making me fall in love with you.

Because of you, I finally understand why everyone loves love and why everyone is also scared of it.

You never once made me doubt your love for me.

I hope that when I’m gone, you’ll still be able to show that love.

I’ve been kind of prolonging telling you this, but I haven’t been feeling well lately and it’s not because of food poisoning or me being sick. I knew I was pregnant; I just didn’t want it to be true because so much was going on and we couldn’t raise a child together while everything was happening.

I don’t know if the baby will survive the procedure. They say it’s rare for children to survive this early on.

I’m 25 weeks pregnant.

I wasn’t showing because the doctor said that sometimes babies are very small to the point where they sometimes won’t show until the last few months.

I already have some name ideas for the baby.

For a girl, I want her name to be Luna. It means moon.

For a boy I want his name to be Roman, I know it’s your middle name. I found out from your sister.

I’ve always wanted my children to have names related to the sky or stars. You know how much I love them.

But if you’d like to change it you can. I just thought it’d be nice to give you some ideas.

Also, last thing.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for saving you without discussing it with you. I’m sorry for saving you without giving you a proper goodbye. I’m sorry that you’re going to live in a world without me while also taking care of our child. That’s if it survives but I have hope. I don’t want you to be alone. You need someone to love you and care for you and be there for you like I have. You need something to live for and I hope this baby is it.

Don’t forget, I’m always here if you need me.

I’m positive that I’m going to be with my grandpa up in the sky.

So, if you ever need to talk, just go outside and look up at the stars, Killian.

I love you with all my heart. Take care of our baby.

- Reign Pierce