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Thirty-Nine

Reign

Reading books always makes my mind clear.

Whenever my mind goes into overdrive I always either go to the cliff near the beach to talk to the stars or I read.

Reading does a good job to take me out of real life for a little bit.

Papa is back home from the hospital.

Ever since things went down, I’ve been feeling tired from the constant overthinking, and I even threw up in the morning the other day.

Usually, I get like that when I’m stressed out.

Thinking about Killian and how things went down with him and Papa hurts. Everything regarding Killian hurts because deep down I love him, deep down I know that he couldn’t have done all this on purpose.

The book I’m reading is “The Truths We Burn” by Monty Jay. They’re a new author I started reading and their books are pretty good.

I think this book will be a new favorite, especially because the main male character is a fire lover, and it reminds me of Killian.

I feel a breeze hit my bare shoulders making me look over my back.

Deja vu hits me as I see a familiar black figure standing at the end of my bed.

Before I can scream, he gets on top of me and covers my mouth.

My eyes connect with his dark ones. “Don’t scream,” his husky voice says. I put my hands on his chest to push him away, but he doesn’t budge. “I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to talk.”

He grabs my wrist, soft and tenderly, and slowly threads his fingers through mine.

I let him because no matter how much I fight, I can’t.

Killian is just a boy whose heart hasn’t been loved.

He removes his hand from my mouth and leans down. “I’ve missed you so much.” He presses his forehead against mine. “I shouldn’t be here.”

“You shouldn’t,” I say and Killian leans back. “You’re him. You’re my Star.” His jaw clenches but he doesn’t deny it. A tear forms in my eye. “Why? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Killian gets off the bed and stands in front of me, putting distance between us. “Because it would have done nothing. I did it at first because I just wanted to get to know you. I wanted to get to know the girl I met at the ball all those years ago because you were the only person to interest me. I know if I would have revealed who I was it wouldn’t have ended well.”

“But how do you know that?” I stand up and walk towards him. “You don’t know how things would have turned out. But instead of telling me you continue to force yourself in my life-”

“I didn’t do that,” Killian cuts me off, his dark eyes cutting to mine. “You’re the one who was trying to get to know me, making me open up, and bringing down all my walls when I didn’t want to. I told you not to make me fall in love with you, Reign. Because me being obsessed with you since we were kids was enough damage. But now you’re slowly breaking down all those walls and it’s fucking everything up and the ending won’t be a good one. I can promise you that.”

I furrow my eyebrows at him. “But how do you know? You can’t live life constantly on the edge, waiting for a disaster to happen. You should have told me it was you instead of hiding it from me. Things could have ended differently.”

Killian furrows his eyes this time and looks like he’s about to laugh. “Are you kidding me? Your dad would have shot me if you told him that we started a relationship with a midnight text. Things happened the way they were supposed to.”

“But you started off everything as a lie. You didn’t tell me about you still working with your dad, you didn’t tell me that you were Star, and you already knew everything about me, you lied about you and your dad’s relationship. You came here with an intention to kill my dad. You expect me to just welcome you back with open arms?”

“No, I wouldn’t expect you to, but I did expect you to understand it from my point of view. I didn’t want to tell you about my dad because I fucking liked you Reign. I started to like you more and more as the days went by and then when I did want to tell you it was too late, and my dad found me and your dad. I didn’t know your dad was going to get shot or that they were going to ambush us. If I did, I would have never gone on that walk and I would have stayed with you. If I knew it was going to be our last time together, I would have stayed with you and confessed everything.”

A tear finally falls. “Killian, you still should have been honest with me, since the beginning.” I walk closer to him. “We could have figured it all out and things would have been easier. You know I wouldn’t just throw everything away and everything we built because of your dad. I know you probably don’t understand love but when people are in love they don’t care about the other issues. They still make things work.”

Killian shakes his head lightly. “I told you not to,” he whispers and looks away from me.

I put my hand on his cheek and force him to look back at me. “It’s so easy to fall in love with you Killian. I didn’t force it, but I couldn’t stop it either. I wish things between us were easier, but I guess the universe has other plans for us. I never felt this way towards anyone, and I know that feeling this way with you is supposed to happen because it happened so easily, and it crept up on me without me even realizing it.”

Killian shakes his head again and tears form in his eyes. “You’re going to hate me.”

“I could never hate you.” I furrow my eyebrows at him and bring him closer to me. “Why would I hate you?” Killian’s mind and heart are fighting with one another. I can tell he wants to tell me, but something is stopping him. “Tell me,” I beg, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

Killian grabs my wrists and kisses my wrists before pulling me closer to him and putting his hands around my jaw, holding my face in his huge hands that make me feel so small.

“Run away with me.”

I furrow my eyebrows at him. “What?”

“Run away with me, just for a little while,” Killian repeats.

My heart is telling me to go and do it, do it all for love.

Risk it all for love.

But my head, the rational and good girl part of me, is saying to stay home and abide by my dad’s rules.

But the heart always gets what it wants.

“Okay.”