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Fifty-Five

Killian

I slam my car door shut and look up at the place I call home.

I would always be so happy and relaxed whenever I was home but all I currently feel is dread.

Dreadfulness that I have to come back to this hell hole and see my fucking dad.

I’ve been gone for about a week.

Killing off all the doctors that performed surgery on Reign in Romania.

Do I give a fuck that they have families of their own and a reason to live?

Fuck no.

No regrets, at least not yet.

While in Romania, my dad didn’t come into my room once to see me.

He probably knew that I would have killed him on the spot because I wasn’t thinking straight.

After he heard I survived and that Reign sacrificed herself, he basically caught the first flight back to Italy.

My mom has been blowing up my phone since he got home but I haven’t answered her calls.

I haven’t answered her calls, Thalia’s calls, Rowan’s calls, not a single fucking person.

Because I couldn’t care less.

I lost the only person I loved and would do anything for in this world and now she’s gone.

So no, I didn’t want to hear any sorry’s or “I’m here for you’s.”

I don’t fucking care.

They don’t know what it’s like having her heart in my chest.

They don’t know how much guilt I felt when killing all those people.

It was a battle between my head and my heart.

I know that the heart in my chest, Reign’s heart, is the reason I feel guilty and want to undo what I did.

But then my head cuts in and says they should have never fucking touched her in the first place.

And then let’s not forget about my fucking dad. Who’s a cunt and doesn’t care about anyone but himself.

I hate him.

There is nothing in this world that could make me forgive him or see him any different.

When I walk inside the house, I see the one person I didn’t want to see.

Fucking great.

Pretty sure he heard my car.

“Killian, we need-”

I shake my head and walk past him to go upstairs. “Don’t.”

“Killian-”

I turn around to face him. “Do you know what fucking happened?!” I yell and walk closer to him. “I have the heart of the girl I fucking love inside my goddamn chest.” I yell, trying to hold in the tears that are threatening to fall.

“I know-”

“Do you know?” I furrow my eyebrows at him. “Because it seems like you’re a selfish prick who doesn’t care about anyone but themselves!” I yell. “I have Reign Pierce’s heart, the girl I love, inside my fucking chest,” I say, grabbing where my heart is located. “Do you understand how badly I want to rip it out of me? It doesn’t fucking belong there.”

My dad’s jaw clenches. “I did everything for you Killian! I have killed for you. I have provided for you and loved you the best I could. I'm sorry things happened the way they did but what more do you want from me?”

“I wanted more time,” I say as a tear finally falls from my eye. “I wanted more time to spend with Reign. I wanted more time to have this baby with her.”

My dad’s face pales, and his eyes widen. “Baby?

I shake my head lightly and nip my bottom lip. “Yea, she was fucking pregnant. She got a C-section before they did the transplant. Con-fucking-grats. You’re a grandpa again but not to Landon.”

“Is it a boy or a girl?”

“Girl.”

My dad looks behind me as if she’s there walking.

What a fucking dumbass.

“Where is she?”

“With her family.”

My dad furrows his eyebrows as if I’m the fucking problem.

Is he being for real right now?

“You put her up for adoption?”

He looks mad, which he has no fucking right to be.

“No, she’s with Reign’s family and she’s going to stay there.”

“Why not you?”

“I don’t fucking want her.”

“You are her dad Killian.” My dad gives me a disappointed look.

This fucking guy.

I want to laugh at him.

“I’m not going to be her dad without Reign,” I say as Reign’s heart beats against my chest, hard.

My dad looks guilty as he runs his hands through his hair and sighs. “Killian, I’m-”

I shake my head, not wanting to hear it. “No, you’re not. This is what you wanted, right?” I raise an eyebrow at him. “You wanted the girl I love dead? You wanted me to not love anyone and be closed off and cold? Guess what, Ace?” I smile and lean towards him. “You got your fucking wish.”

My dad’s jaw clenches and his expression changes to a sour one. “Don’t call me that. You’re my son-”

I laugh. “No, if I was your son, the love of my life would still be here in front of me. I would have been raising this child with her!” I yell, getting close to his face.

“I just wanted you to be great Killian. I wanted you to be the best in this world.”

I shake my head. “I didn’t want any of that. What I wanted was Reign.”

“The life you wanted with Reign, wasn’t going to last forever and you know that,” my dad says, pointing a finger to my chest.

“But it would have been nice to pretend things were normal for just a few years. Reign and I could have done so much with this baby in just a couple of years. And now it’s all ruined,” I say as another tear falls down my cheek.

I developed a coronary heart disease when I was sixteen years old. I had heart problems and other complications at a young age, but my parents were never worried about it because I was a healthy kid and the doctors said there wasn’t much to worry about.

But one day I got shot and we had to go to the emergency room when I was sixteen and they revealed how damaged my heart really was.

When the doctor revealed how long I had left, maybe 20s to 30s, I knew my time was going to end and so I expected it.

I was supposed to die.

Not Reign.

“I said it would have been fucking nice to pretend.”

My dad doesn’t say anything to that, so I nod my head and turn around to walk away from him.

He obviously doesn’t give a fuck.

He never gave a fuck about anyone but himself.

“You can’t pretend, Killian.” I stop walking. “Like it or not, you aren’t normal. Reign is dead-”

“Stop,” I demand, turning around slowly but he keeps going.

“And you’re still here, breathing. You need to be more grateful.”

“I said stop,” I say, my patience wearing thin and Reign’s heart racing.

“You won’t get her back. Time to start acting like a fucking man and get over it,” he finishes.

I lunge towards him and tackle him to the floor.

I straddle his hips and punch him in the face repeatedly.

“It’s your fucking fault!” I yell in his face. “You fucking killed her! It’s all your fault!”

My dad doesn’t punch back, instead he lies there and basically takes it.

“Killian-”

I start laughing like a maniac as I punch the life out of him.

It’s funny.

Ace De Luca and Killian De Luca, fighting.

dad and son.

He finally starts to guard himself.

All I can think about while punching him is Reign.

My fucking Reign.

It should have been him instead of her.

“I hate you,” I say as tears fall from my eyes.

My dad pushes me off and when I get off him, I take out my gun and aim it at his head.

He kneels on the floor, spitting blood out while I’m standing above him with a gun to his head.

My dad looks up at the gun and I see regret and worry all over his face.

“Enough, Killian.” I stay quiet, still holding the gun to his head. I never thought I’d see the day, Ace De Luca kneeling before me with a gun to his head. Reign’s heart races as I think about this. If I kill him, mom will never forgive me. Thalia will never forgive me. I’ll basically be exiled. “Think about this. You don’t want to do this, trust me.”

I push the gun against his head harder. “You know all the voices I’ve been hearing in my fucking head since I left the hospital. Everything is loud and I can’t fucking make it stop. The only way to make it stop is literally to kill myself.” I lean down to face him, and he looks up at me, his eyes tearing up surprisingly. “I will never forgive you. That dad role you had when I was five is gone. To me you were fucking everything. You’re dead to me and I will forever hate you.” I take the gun away from his head, but he doesn’t move or flinch. He looks up at me, his face pale. “Once my mom is dead, I’m kicking you out and you can live in one of your other estates. I’m only going to give one warning. If I see you in this house after my mom dies, I will kill you. I’ll burn you alive and make you wish you had a fast, easy death. I’ll be the one to say, ' Saluta Satana da parte mia ' to you, Ace.”

I don’t wait for a response, instead I walk past him and go towards my room.

Who would have thought?

Ace De Luca, kneeling and pleading for me not to kill him.