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Chapter Fifty-One

Jordan

One year later…

“Hey, Jordan!”

I glance over my shoulder as I close the door to my work room.

“Hey, Triss.”

“So, a couple of us are going out for drinks tonight. Do you want to join us?”

She blinks her bright blue eyes at me, a hopeful smile on her face. My answer is going to be the same as it always is, and though I’m sure she knows this, she never stops asking.

“Thanks, but it’s been a long week.”

She nods, her eyes going sad. “If you change your mind, we’ll be at Spinners. ”

“Thanks.”

It’s no secret to me, or a couple of the other guys at work, that she’s into me.

No fucking clue why, but that isn’t what’s stopping me from accepting her invites.

Triss is smart, knows a ton about sports, and she’s hot as hell.

But… she’s not Alex. No one will ever be him, and since I royally fucked that up, the rest of my life will be spent in misery.

When I get home, my house is dark. Though it’s been a year since he’s been here, I still walk through the door and look toward the kitchen, like maybe he’ll be there preparing dinner like he did so many times before.

He never is. And it never stops hurting.

I’ve considered moving, but I don’t deserve that. I hurt him, and so I deserve to hurt in return.

I hate how things ended up with us, because I was so sure it wouldn’t be this way.

Back then, I was so sure that things with Alex and I were going to work out.

That we would be forever. That we could keep moving forward and have a life together.

Get down to one house. Tell people about us.

Get married. I thought of all those things.

Yet, when it came down to making the move, I froze.

I panicked. My walls shot up, and I fucking ruined us.

I hate my life the way it is but… this is my life. It’s always been my life. Here in As hbourne.

Once upon a time, I had plans to leave. To get as far away as I could. Alex gave me the opportunity to do that, and I didn’t take it.

What would have happened if I’d gone with him? Where would we be right now? I can’t even think about it because it hurts too much. My chest aches and then I can’t breathe.

I take a quick shower, and drop onto my couch once I’m in sweats and a t-shirt. It has a permanent dip in the shape of me, and I think it’s time to get a new one, but I swear some spots still smell like him. So, it stays.

There’s never anything to watch on TV, since I avoid sports stations now.

Too many times they’re talking about how amazing Alex Brewer is doing since his injury, and at one point they even shouted me out for helping him recover.

Kind of fucking crazy to hear my name from the announcer’s mouth, honestly.

They talk about Vance sometimes too, and knowing that they could be out there together has me fucking furious.

It’s better to not think about it at all, which is why I don’t watch sports anymore.

Sucks because I don’t really like anything else.

Movies are boring. Shows are boring. I settle on a random channel, just wanting background noise so I don’t feel alone.

My stomach growls, and so I order pizza, putting in directions for them to leave it on the porch.

I get an alert forty-five minutes later, while I’m half asleep, that it’s there.

I force myself to get up and get it. I eat half of it, leaving the other half on the island.

It’ll be gone before the end of the night.

I do the few dishes in the sink that were left over from the week, and my phone starts pinging. When my hands are dried, I grab it and my stomach drops when I see Alex’s name on the screen.

“What the fuck?” I mutter.

With trembling fingers, I unlock my phone and click on my texts. I feel a bit of relief, but also disappointment, when I see it’s a group chat and not something specifically for me.

Still, I click on it, needing to know what he’s saying. It has to be something important if he’s texting me. We haven’t spoken since the night he left me. The night I once again didn’t go after him. The night I ruined my fucking life.

Alex

Austen’s opening for BrewTech is NEXT FRIDAY and I expect you all to be there!

Trey Oh, is the big hot shot finally getting time off the ice?

Hudson Didn’t know you hung out with us normal folk anymore, Alex.

Alex *middle finger emoji*

Alex Here’s the address. No excuses!

The guys send thumbs up emojis and then Alex sends the address.

It’s possible he didn’t mean to send this to me, but why wouldn’t I be included in this? It’s not his opening, it’s Austen’s. And Austen is still my best friend. Even if he took off to New York and is now living life with his boyfriend.

I always knew Cameron was in love with him, and though it used to annoy the fuck out of me, I’m glad they finally found their way together. It’s what was meant to be and it’s what they both deserve. They’re happy and that’s all that matters.

Going to Austen’s opening is the right thing to do. But Alex will be there .

How do I handle seeing him after all this time? I can’t even stand seeing him on TV. What will face to face be like?

Not to mention we’ll be around all these other people. But maybe that’s a good thing? Maybe the others will be a distraction. Maybe it’ll be so busy that I won’t see Alex at all.

Honestly, it doesn’t really matter. Austen is my friend and I have to go. I have to. So I send a quick text.

I’ll be there.

Paul Hell yeah, the Mack Truck is going to NEW YORK!

Hudson Fuck yes!

The other guys send similar responses, but Alex? He thumbs ups my text. I don’t know what that means. He reacted to it, acknowledged it. It wasn’t a thumbs down. But of course he knew I’d go, right? He knows me better than that. He knows I wouldn’t not support Austen.

Dare I think that Alex wants me there?

Not just for Austen, but for him? Could this be another chance?

I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be, but it will be if I have anything to say about it.

I can’t keep sitting around my house being miserable. Yes, I love my job and I love my house. But I love Alex more. This town is doing nothing but draining the life out of me. When I’m with Alex, all I feel is alive. I’ve been numb since he left. I can’t keep going on like this.

This is it. This is my opportunity. This is the universe giving me an olive branch for being a dick my whole life. It’s my final chance to fix things. To beg him for another chance.

I drop onto my couch, pulling up an app to find a hotel in the area. May as well head up there as soon as possible. I can’t be too prepared for something like this. And I could use a vacation.

After booking a hotel not far from Austen’s building, I call my boss, Brett.

“Hey, Jordan. Is everything okay?”

“Hey, uh… yeah, I think so. Something personal has come up though, and unfortunately, I need next week off. I’ll talk to the others about taking on my clients, and I’ll cancel with whoever can’t be moved.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. Of course, take the week. Don’t worry about your schedule, Jordan. I’ll manage it. You never call out, so this must be important. If there is anything I can do, please let me know.”

“Thank you,” I say. “Seriously, thanks. ”

“Hey, it’s no problem.”

I end the call, feeling relieved. My boss is a cool guy and I’ve never had any issues with him, but he is pretty stern and I hadn’t anticipated him being so sympathetic.

It means a lot that he trusts me enough to not question me or give me a hard time about this.

Though, to be fair, he still does owe me a favor for taking on Alex in the first place.

It’s late, and I’d rather not drive through the night. So I pack my bag, throw whatever food I can that won’t be ruined into the freezer, and toss the rest. I take out the garbage and make sure all the windows are locked.

Then I force myself to go to sleep, and when morning comes, for the first time in a long time, I feel hope.

The drive is smooth, only hitting some traffic once I get into New York. Figures. I’ve never been to New York before, and it’s crazier than it looks, and I’m not even in the deepest part of the city yet.

I navigate to my hotel, excited as all hell over being here. I should reach out to the guys and see when they plan on coming. I want to experience everything while I’m here. I hadn’t realized how much that small town was doing to me …

Parking my truck in the parking garage the hotel uses, I hop out and grab my bags, making sure to lock the doors.

She’s new. Brand new, actually. Got her right off the lot.

My old one finally shit the bed on me and I didn’t have much of a choice.

I thought of finding another fixer upper but what’s the point?

Spending all my spare time fixing something that will just break again is pointless.

I head into the hotel, check in, get my key, and head up to my room.

It’s on the fifteenth floor, and the first thing I do is go to the window to look out at the city.

“Holy shit,” I mutter, a grin splitting my face.

This is the coolest thing I have ever seen. I’ve never been so high off the ground before and I feel like I can see everything, even though there are buildings here that are ten times higher. Imagine what I could see from there?

I snap a photo and send it to the group chat.

Andre The fuck! You’re there already?

Hudson What the hell, man?

Trey You suck!

I take a photo from a different angle and send that to the chat, followed by the middle finger emoji .

They all respond, giving me shit for being here when they’re stuck working or doing whatever adult stuff they’re doing. The only person who doesn’t answer me is the one I want—Alex.

Maybe he’s busy. At practice or a game or something. I don’t know his schedule, but I do know he can’t have his phone with him all the time

It’s late now, and I’m tired. I spent most of the day traveling.

I’m starving, and as badly as I want to explore this city, I’ll enjoy it more if I wait until tomorrow.

So I order myself room service that is so overpriced it makes me laugh.

But it’s delivered quickly and it tastes pretty damn good.

I eat, shower, then lay in the king-sized bed and flip through the channels to find something to watch.

Before I know it, I’m being woken up by bright light streaming over my face. It’s a little after seven, but that’s good enough for me to get my day started.

I get dressed and head downstairs, not sure where I’m going, only that I want food. As I walk, I browse the internet for different things to do, wanting to do everything but knowing I don’t have enough time.

I do have a full week though. A full week of nothing but me on vacation in New York City and a million things to do. The only thing that would make this better is experiencing it with Alex, but… I’ll get to see him on the other side of this. My prize for getting through the week is him.

When I leave New York City on Sunday, Alex Brewer will be mine again.