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Chapter Twenty-Nine

Jordan

I knew the festival was a bad idea. I didn’t want to come in the first place, but Maggie asked and I couldn’t tell her no; not after blowing her off last week for our anniversary.

I need to grovel and do everything she says for the foreseeable future.

She gave me another chance, something I don’t deserve, and so I have to pay her back for that.

I’m pretty sure this isn’t how relationships are supposed to be, but what the hell do I know? I didn’t grow up around normal relationships, so I’m trying my best. But I hear all this stuff about how things should be easy and you should want to see your partner happy.

I do want to see Maggie happy, I just think that’s with someone else.

I don’t really know what that means, but she’s smart and if she thinks we should be together, well, I guess we’re going to be together.

Which means I have to suck it up and do things I don’t want to do, like this festival.

It was tolerable, thanks to the cheap beer, until Alex showed up.

He’s supposedly in pain, so shouldn’t he be home relaxing? Not walking around on terrain like this. Yet here he is, all happy-go-lucky like nothing is wrong in the world, smiling away. How the fuck does he do it?

I’ll never understand how someone can smile so much when they’re broken inside.

He can lie to my face as much as he wants, but I know the truth.

Maybe if he hadn’t have left me all those years ago, I’d give a fuck about it.

But Alex puts on this face for all to see, it’s what he wants people to know.

So I’ll play ignorant to make him happy.

It’s much easier than trying to break through his shell.

And why would I want to? So he can leave me again?

I know I shouldn’t even feel the way I do about what happened. Alex had every right to get the fuck out of this town and chase his dreams. I wish I could’ve done the same. I’d planned to, but I guess life wanted to fuck me over, just like it always does.

“So, how do you two know each other?” Maggie asks as we make our way through the crowds of people, toward the far end where the pumpkins are.

“He’s my brother’s best friend,” Alex says .

“Oh, you’re Austen’s brother!” Maggie adds. “Now that makes sense.”

“I didn’t know you had a brother,” Kearstin says to Alex.

“That’s surprising,” Alex says. “He’s my parents’ pride and joy.”

I don’t miss his sarcastic tone as he says those words, though it seems the girls do, but they don’t know him like I do.

“How come you’re back here? Is there a break or something?” Maggie asks.

“Injury,” Alex says.

“Oh no—”

“Don’t worry. Your boyfriend is going to make me all better.” Alex winks, and I grit my teeth, hating the way my chest warms over that look.

Maggie looks at me all sorts of ways and it never feels like that. Yet, Alex does it and… fuck. He needs to go back to PA—immediately.

“He’ll be right as rain before you know it, then he’ll be on his way back home,” I say, holding his gaze.

His smirk grows before turning away and watching where he’s walking.

When we get to the pumpkin patch, the girls veer toward to the painted ones that are up for awards. They’re all pretty cool, but the Jack Skellington one is my favorite .

We look at the carved ones which don’t even look real. I don’t know how anyone has patience to do that.

Despite my argument, the three of them manage to get me on a hayride.

It’s ridiculous, sitting here with a ton of small children and their parents.

Everyone is staring at me because of my size, which is a common enough thing, but it’s easier to ignore when I’m not sitting right in front of them without being able to move.

When the ride is done, I’m the first up and off, moving as far away as I can before they manage to wrangle me onto it again.

“Oh, let’s get hot chocolate!” Maggie says, grabbing Kearstin’s arm and moving ahead of us.

“Well, at least if I don’t end up marrying her, she’ll have a new friend,” Alex says as he reaches my side.

“Don’t act like you plan on settling down with that poor girl.”

He huffs out a laugh. “Damn right I don’t, but if I don’t appease my mother, I’ll be screwed.”

I’m not sure what that means, and I don’t care enough to ask. His mother has always been hard on him, much different from the way she is with Austen, but I don’t care what’s going on with him at home.

“You shouldn’t be walking around so damn much,” I grunt.

“Aww, you care,” Alex says with a sly smile, putting his hand over his heart .

“You wish,” I grumble as I walk away to meet the girls. I pull out my wallet to pay for the drinks before Maggie can. She smiles, handing me a styrofoam cup.

The hot chocolate tastes like water with a splash of chocolate, but it makes Maggie happy, so I’ll deal with it.

When we’re done with that, we head over to the pumpkins—finally.

“Which one do you want?” Maggie asks.

“Don’t care.”

“Oh, come on. You have to pick one.”

“It doesn’t matter. Just pick any one.”

“Jordan,” Maggie whines. “Stop being so grumpy.”

“That’s funny,” Alex comments, huffing out a laugh. “I don’t think that’s possible.”

“Right!” Maggie says. “If he were a Care Bear, he’d be Grumpy Bear.”

“Oh my God, yes !” Alex says. “I’d totally be Funshine bear.”

“I can definitely see that,” Kearstin adds.

They keep talking about these stupid Care Bear things, trying to figure out which one the girls would be, but I zone out. I walk a few feet, find a pumpkin that stands out because it’s smaller than the others, and grab it up.

“No, Jordan,” Maggie complains. “You can’t pick that one. ”

“Why the hell not?” I ask, holding it up. It rests in the palm of my hand.

“Because it’s small.”

“I like this one.”

“You need a big one.”

I hold her stare, not understanding what the issue is. First, I tell her I don’t care which one I want, and she tells me I have to care. So I do care, and I pick one, but then it’s wrong?

“Here, get this one,” she says, grabbing one that’s the size of a watermelon.

She hefts it at me, and I take it into one hand, while she picks up the other one and tosses it to the ground.

She walks off, and before I turn to follow her, from the corner of my eye, I see Alex pick up my tiny pumpkin and tuck it under his arm.

I’m able to pry Maggie away from him and his date after we pay for the pumpkins, but not before they exchange phone numbers. Great, now they’re besties and are talking about double dates.

Kill me now.

I drop Maggie off at her house, and even walk her to the door and kiss her goodnight like a gentleman. She invites me in, even though she knows I’m not going to go. I never do.

On the rare occasion we spend a night together, it’s at my place, and usually only when she has something to do the next day so she has to leave early.

When I get home, I jump in the shower, throw on comfortable clothes, and fall asleep on the couch as I listen to sports highlights.

When I wake up in the morning, my tiny pumpkin is waiting for me on the porch.