Page 50 of Heartbreak Honey

Now

It’s three weeks later when Trevor has an epiphany.

It came after looking at the photos Oli sent to him of Trevor and Skyler dancing at the wedding. After scrolling through Netflix and finding an old Taylor Bucannon movie. It came when he realized how each new day with Skyler feels like both a miracle and something fated at the same time.

There was a time when Trevor’s future looked nothing but bleak. All the stage lights had gone out, and he was left alone in the darkness.

Being with Skyler has turned on all the lights, brought back all the dazzling colors in full brightness.

So, yeah. Epiphany.

Trevor knows what he’s meant to do.

But first he needs to do something he’s dreading, something he never thought he’d be doing. He calls Sierra because he owes her this courtesy.

He’s surprised she even answers, but she does. Although he doesn’t get a greeting, but rather a nervous, “Trevor? What’s going on?”

Right. Well. No small talk then.

“I’m planning to do something, and I wanted you to know before I did it.”

“Okay…?”

“I’m coming out.”

He doesn’t hear anything from her end for a few moments, and he’s afraid she didn’t hear him. He’d rather not repeat it.

Then—“Oh. You’re… Wow. Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“But why now?”

“A lot of reasons. It’s something I need to do. I probably should have done it a long time ago.” He clears his throat. “Anyway, I’m letting you know because once people realize Skyler and I are together, I’m sure they’ll start asking questions about you and me and our marriage. And if they do, I’m going to tell them the truth.”

“Which is what?” she asks, sounding wearily resigned. She just skipped over the part about him and Skyler being together. Maybe she didn’t catch it.

“That I loved you,” he tells her. “But we weren’t right for each other.”

It’s part of the truth, at least.

Sierra is quiet again, and he waits, sort of expecting her to tell him that she hates him, which wouldn’t be unjustified. Finally, she says, “Trevor?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m happy for you.”

Oh.

“So you and Skyler,” she says. Guess she did catch it then. “I should’ve known. I mean, I guess I did know, but anyway. You deserve to be happy and have everything you want. I think you forgot that for a while, but you do.”

Suddenly, Trevor’s overwhelmed with gratitude. For this woman who put him through so much but put up with so much from him too. Who was there for him when he had no one else. Who understands the parts of him that only a handful of people do.

And she could be bitter—she probably should be. But it sounds like she genuinely means the nice things she’s saying to him.

All he can manage to say in return is, “Thank you.”

But also.

“Sierra. I’m…” He sighs. She apologized to him long ago for what she did to him, and while he knew he played his own part in their mess, he’s not sure he ever told her that. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

“I know you are,” she says.

And when they hang up, Trevor finally feels a sense of closure.

A few days later, Trevor tests the waters somewhat by agreeing to go out to lunch with Skyler and Oli. It’s a big step, but he’s tired of hiding.

And it’s good. Oli just returned from his Australian honeymoon, so he spends most of the meal regaling them with stories that are surely greatly exaggerated about him fighting a kangaroo and adopting a wallaby.

By the next morning, articles are already online speculating about the band getting back together.

The idea makes Trevor shudder. While his experience of being in Boys Will Be Boys shaped his life and made him the person he is today, and while there was so much good along with the bad, it’s not something he thinks he’d ever want to relive. Maybe they could come together once in a blue moon for a special performance, a charity thing or an anniversary. But a real reunion doesn’t seem possible.

He’s pretty sure now that the other guys would agree. Who wants to go backward in life?

No, Trevor’s much more focused on the future. Excited for what’s to come. Excited for what could very well be the best years of his life.

With Skyler.

Trevor’s been waiting and waiting for the right moment.

This evening is just a regular one, with him on the couch relaxing while Skyler makes dinner for them. He’s staring again at the photos of him and Skyler at the wedding. He’s been doing that a lot.

The thing is, they look good together. Like they belong nowhere else but in each other’s arms. Looking at these, anyone could tell how happy they are. Lost in their own private world, even when they’re surrounded by a sea of people. The way they used to be all the time.

Trevor’s suddenly struck with a thought that makes his breath catch.

This is what we’ll look like at our own wedding.

It’s true that he panicked before when he found the ring Skyler bought for him. Because he thought Skyler was planning to propose so soon after they got back together, which seemed crazy.

But you know what’s crazy? The fact that a nineteen-year-old guy from California and a seventeen-year-old from Ohio somehow found each other and fell in love in the first place.

It’s crazy how even after the world did its best to tear them apart, they found their way back to each other. That somehow their hearts are still capable of loving so deeply.

No, getting married wouldn’t be the crazy part. Finding the love of your life twice and not doing everything you can to hold on to them? That would be crazy.

So. This is as good a time as any. Every moment is the right moment when you’re with the right person.

Trevor turns off the TV and enters the kitchen on shaky legs. But they’re shaking from excitement, not nerves. Because he knows. He’s finally getting it right.

He should probably wait until Skyler’s not cooking, but Skyler’s always cooking. He’s standing there with his hair in a ponytail and wearing a pair of sweatpants that must be Trevor’s, because they’re slightly too short for him, exposing his ankles and the tiny squirrel tattooed above one. Done for a joke, but Trevor doesn’t remember what the joke was.

Trevor slips his hand into his pocket, feeling for the tiny velvet box that he’s been walking around with for days.

Skyer still hasn’t noticed him, too absorbed in cooking and the song he’s humming. Trevor has to clear his throat to get his attention.

Skyler turns to him, smiling instantly. “Hey, babe. I hope you’re hungry, because I think I went overboard.”

Trevor fights a smile, because when does he not? “I have something for you.”

“Can it wait until the carrots are done?”

He shakes his head, pulling out the box and opening it, holding it out for Skyler to see.

Skyler’s eyes widen as he steps closer. Then he gives Trevor a curious look. “That’s my ring.”

“No, you dork.” At Skyler’s raised eyebrows, Trevor quickly adds, “I mean, yes, it looks like the one you bought. But it’s mine. For you.” He needs to get back on track. He practiced this. “I borrowed yours and had another one made.”

“Why?” Skyler asks.

He frowns. “Are you fucking with me right now?”

“I—”

“Marry me.”

Skyler’s eyes go impossibly wider, and he doesn’t say anything.

Trevor starts to get worried. “Well?”

Skyler grins. “Say it again. Slower.”

He laughs. Fine, guess he should do it properly anyway.

So he gets down on one knee in the middle of the kitchen floor and takes Skyler’s hand.

“Skyler James. You have always been and will always be the love of my life. And I promise I’m ready to do anything it takes to not lose you this time. Will you please marry me and let me keep you forever?”

He’s holding his breath as Skyler continues to stare at him, and it looks like Skyler’s holding his too. Trevor’s afraid one of them will pass out if Skyler doesn’t say something soon.

Then the unthinkable happens. Skyler gives a small shake of his head, suddenly looking sad.

Trevor’s going to throw up.

“So,” Skyler starts, voice tiny and timid, “you want me to marry you and keep it a secret forever?”

Trevor breathes the biggest sigh of relief as he stands. “No. I want you to marry me, and then I want you to tell the whole fucking world about it.”

Shooting stars flash across Skyler’s eyes. A whole beautiful galaxy lit up just for Trevor.

And then Skyler turns and runs from the room.

What the—

Before Trevor has time to fully panic, Skyler’s running back in, slightly out of breath, with a ring in his hand. He holds it out eagerly.

“Fucking hell, you scared me.”

Skyler grins so hard it might be painful and reaches to grab Trevor’s hand, but Trevor shakes his head playfully.

“You didn’t even tell me yes, you know.”

“Yes!” Skyler exclaims. “Now it’s my turn.”

This time, when Skyler drops to his knee, Trevor lets him take his hand.

“Trevor Blue. I look at you and I see the rest of our lives. I see us with all our kids and our house in Iowa. Although maybe we should rethink Iowa, because I’ve traveled the country more times than I can count and I’m still not sure where it is. And I see us when we’re old and wrinkly, and I walk with a cane, and when you tease me, I try to trip you with it.”

Trevor laughs at that, but doesn’t interrupt, just blinks the tears out of his eyes because he doesn’t want to miss a moment of this.

“It feels like I’ve already spent most of my life loving you,” Skyler goes on. “And I promise you I’ll spend every day of the rest of it loving you even more. So would you please do me the honor of being my husband?”

Trevor’s heart jolts at the word husband. He doesn’t know if Skyler made all that up off the cuff or if he already had a speech prepared. And he doesn’t know which would be more amazing, so he doesn’t ask. All he can say is, “Yes. So much fucking yes.”

He pulls Skyler up and they slide the rings onto each other’s fingers at the same time. And it’s cheesy as hell, but when have the two of them ever not been cheesy? They kiss slowly, savoring it, despite knowing they”ll have endless kisses in their future.

At some point, Skyler remembers to turn off the stove. But they disregard dinner in favor of heading upstairs, where Skyler lets Trevor take him apart piece by piece then put him back together again.

Three orgasms between them later, Trevor is exhausted in the best way, lying on his back with Skyler’s head on his chest. He plays with the ring on Skyler’s finger, twisting it back and forth, and he can feel Skyler smiling against his skin. “Did you see what’s inside it?” he asks.

When he tries to slide the ring off Skyler’s finger, Skyler yanks his hand away. “You can’t take it back!”

He chuckles. “Relax. Will you let me show you?”

After relenting and giving up the ring, Skyler reads the engraving and lets out an awed gasp.

He’s mine, he’s mine, he’s mine.

Skyler stares at it a bit longer before he holds out his finger for Trevor to slide the ring back on. Then he says, “I am, you know.” And when Trevor looks down at him questioningly, he adds, “I’m yours.” He begins to trace an invisible pattern over Trevor’s chest. “Always have been, always will be.”

“I know,” Trevor tells him.

And he does. Because nothing’s going to mess them up this time. This time he’s ready, and he wants all the same things that Skyler wants.

He won’t be coming out just for Skyler. He needs to do it for himself. He’s done being manipulated. Done being scared of something that he was never actually scared of in the first place, before he let all the voices get into his head.

Now all those voices are gone, drown out by the beautiful harmony of him and Skyler.

Since they’ve come home from New York, Trevor’s thought about that old Hollywood story Skyler told him. He doesn’t want to become another Taylor Bucannon. While he has a complicated relationship with fame, he’s realized he’s lucky to be someone the world knows. But when he dies, he doesn’t want to do it leaving behind a safe but manufactured legacy. His legacy should be the truth.

He wants the world to know who he really is, all the vulnerable and wonderful parts of himself. And he wants them to know that he loves Skyler James with all his mind, body, and soul, and that nothing anyone else thinks about that will ever make him stop.

Because even after everything, they somehow made it here. And he knows now that it was all worth it. The heartbreak and the honey.