Page 30 of Heartbreak Honey

Now

Skyler didn’t realize how much he missed Trevor painting his nails for him until now. The way Trevor holds his fingers so gently, the care he takes in making sure the polish is even and none of it gets on his cuticles. They’re small gestures, but they mean so much to him. He has professional stylists who get paid to do this for him, but it’s not the same. Not at all.

Sitting here cross-legged on the floor with Trevor, his hand resting on Trevor’s knee while Trevor paints his nails a deep maroon color, it takes him back to the years when they were first together. When they were so eager to take care of each other in both the simplest and the biggest ways.

He’s still eager to take care of Trevor, but it’s not until now that he’s felt sure Trevor still wants to take care of him too.

Even though it’s been two days and Trevor hasn’t kissed him again.

But something’s shifted between them since that glorious moment in the elevator. He can feel it in the way Trevor looks at him with the softest eyes. In the way he touches him like he’s made of porcelain, like he’s a precious gift to be protected. A hand on his lower back, sure and steady, guiding him as they walk together. Arms wrapped tight around him as they go to sleep, holding Skyler’s body against his.

Trevor offers to get up and make them coffee when Skyler’s reluctant to get out of bed in the morning. He does Skyler’s laundry with his own. Basically, he’s acting like he did when they were together—only minus anything sexual.

And it’s not that Skyler only wants sex from him. No. He fucking loves all the other stuff, revels in the easy displays of affection. But he can’t help but suspect that Trevor is still unsure somehow, still holding back.

He could be the one to kiss Trevor, could initiate something now after he made Trevor take that first step. But he wants Trevor to do it again. Just to be sure. Because he can’t handle the hesitation, the moving forward a bit only to stall out again. If they’re going to do this, for real, they both need to be in it one thousand percent. He can only give Trevor everything if Trevor’s willing to give everything back to him.

When Trevor finishes the topcoat on Skyler’s second hand and carefully brings it up to his mouth to place a kiss on each of Skyler’s knuckles, Skyler almost breaks. He almost leaps forward and crawls into Trevor’s lap to kiss him.

But he doesn’t. Mostly because he needs Trevor to make the decision, and partly because he’d mess up the nails that Trevor spent so much time on.

He takes a moment to admire his nails and smiles. A lot of the clothes he wears now—the crazy outfits he picks out for his shows and appearances—are things he likes, sure, but they”re not things he’d casually wear at home. The nails, though, aren’t only for the stage. He likes having them painted all the time. They make him feel good about himself.

And Trevor helped him find that. Trevor never made him feel weird or bad for liking what he liked.

“Thank you,” he says, for more than the task Trevor just completed.

“Anytime,” Trevor says.

Skyler needs to wait a while for his nails to dry before he can do anything, so he asks Trevor, “Will you read to me?”

“Read what?”

“Anything. I know you borrowed some books from Layla.”

Trevor’s been keeping himself occupied by reading while Skyler works on his music, sometimes on the couch, and sometimes at the park down the block.

“They’re murder mysteries,” Trevor says. “Not the highbrow literary stuff you like.”

“Hey! Don’t make me sound like a book snob. I like all sorts of stuff.”

“Sure you do.”

Skyler pouts and says, “Okay, rude.” But he likes that Trevor’s teasing him. It’s good they’ve gotten past that stage of awkward politeness. Good they can be themselves now.

Trevor smiles. “Sure, I’ll read to you.”

While Trevor goes to grab a book, Skyler makes himself comfortable on the couch, angling against one arm with his feet up on the cushions, knees bent. But when Trevor returns, rather than taking a seat at the opposite end by Skyler’s feet, he goes right over to Skyler and lifts his head up.

“Scoot down a bit.”

He complies, Trevor bracing his upper body as he shimmies his butt to make more room, and then Trevor sits in the spot he left, gently guiding Skyler’s head down into his lap. Skyler just barely manages to hold back a sigh of contentment as Trevor begins lightly scratching his scalp with one hand.

Trevor keeps up the treatment while he reads, holding the paperback open in his other hand. His voice washes over Skyler, slow and rhythmic, and Skyler could easily fall asleep like this, except for the fact that he doesn’t want to miss a moment of it.

He’s seriously not a book snob, but to annoy Trevor and amuse himself, he decides to proclaim that every character introduced is the killer. About ten pages in, he must have said it as many times already.

When he tries to implicate the random clerk at a gas station, Trevor’s patience wears out. “If you don’t shut up, I’m going to tickle you.”

“No, you’re not. That could mess up my nails.”

“I think they’re dry by now.”

“You don’t know for sure,” he argues.

Trevor lets out a defeated sigh. “Fine. Then I’m going to stop reading.”

“Don’t do that.” Skyler leans his head back so that he’s peering up at Trevor as he purposefully juts out his lower lip. “I’ll be good, I promise.”

He’s only joking around, but Trevor’s breath hitches noticeably, and by the time he resumes reading, there’s a sexual tension in the room that’s hard to ignore.

Fuck, he used to love being good for Trevor.

A minute ago, Skyler was comfortable, relaxing with his head in Trevor’s lap. But now he can’t help but want something more. He wants to roll himself over and squeeze Trevor’s strong thighs, feel the muscles give under his hands. Wants to bury his nose in the fabric of Trevor’s shirt against his abs and breathe him in. Wants to kiss his way up Trevor’s chest.

He wants, he wants, he wants.

Trevor’s fingers left Skyler’s hair at some point, but now they’re back, and the way they close tightly around his strands, tugging slightly, lets Skyler know he”s not the only one battling these desires.

To test things out, he adjusts his head in Trevor’s lap, pushing it gently but deliberately into his crotch. Trevor’s voice falters as he reads, and after a few moments, he stops altogether.

“Sky.”

It’s one tiny syllable, but it says so damn much.

He sits up properly and turns himself toward Trevor. Trevor sets the book on the end table. Trevor’s looking at him, waiting, but Skyler still needs it to be Trevor to lean in. Which he doesn’t do. He doesn’t make a move, but he doesn’t look away either.

And it’s so frustrating.

Skyler can tell Trevor wants this as badly as he does. So what’s holding him back?

“Tell me what you’re afraid of,” he whispers, as if Trevor is a deer who will spook at any loud noises.

“Who says I’m afraid?”

“If you weren’t, then I’m pretty sure you would have kissed me by now.”

Trevor shakes his head. “Why do I have to be the one to keep making the first moves?”

He runs one finger down the seam of Trevor’s jeans, along his outer thigh. It’s not meant to be sexual. In another context, it could be, but right now, he only wants Trevor to feel secure enough to let him inside his head. He needs to know what’s going on in there, because it’s not so easy to tell anymore.

“Because you’re the one who still seems unsure of everything,” he answers.

“And you’re sure?” Trevor asks.

“I’m sure I want to be with you, yes.”

Trevor’s breath hitches. “Oh.”

Skyler studies his face, searching for clues. Trevor’s eyes flit around uneasily, refusing to meet his, and Skyler’s heart has never felt so fragile. “And you’re… not sure you want to be with me.”

“No.”

His heart shatters and the shards fly everywhere, cutting his throat. He forces himself to speak around them. “Right. Okay then. If you don’t want it, then I’ll stop pushing. I’m sorry.”

“Wait, no!” Trevor grabs his hand and squeezes it in a death grip, panic written all over his face now. “No, I didn’t mean that I don’t want to be with you.”

“Then what do you mean?”

Trevor loosens his grip but doesn’t let go. “I don’t know if I can be with you. If I’d…”

He doesn’t finish his thought and Skyler’s heart can’t take this. “Babe.” He runs his thumb across Trevor’s knuckles. He wants to beg him to explain what he’s feeling, but he’s afraid to push too hard. Pushing Trevor too hard was what messed everything up the first time.

Trevor’s eyes well up with tears now, and Skyler fights the urge to wrap him in his arms and tell him it’s okay. Tell Trevor that even if he doesn’t want to be with him like that, Skyler will still be here for him.

But he can’t move. Because something’s about to happen, he knows it. He knows Trevor, and after Trevor kissed him in the elevator, he knows Trevor wants all of this as much as he does. He doesn’t understand what’s holding him back.

As they sit there not saying anything but not pulling away from each other either, Skyler grows more frustrated. He’s tried the gentle approach, and it hasn’t worked. Trevor’s holding back his feelings, and it’s getting harder and harder for Skyler not to spill out his own. Lay them all on Trevor even if it’s too much.

The last five years have been good to him. He’s achieved more success than he ever could have dreamed of. But something’s been missing. Skyler knows—he’s always known—that the missing piece was Trevor. No amount of success, money, or fame has ever been able to fill the hole Trevor left in his heart.

And god, that’s such a cliché. If his songwriters tried to put something like that in one of his songs, he’d refuse. But it’s so damn true.

He’s gone five years without Trevor being his, and suddenly he can’t go one more minute. So he takes the big swing.

“I know you still love me.”

He sees the exact moment his words hit Trevor. Because Trevor breaks, a gut-wrenching sob torn out of him as his tears finally spill over.

And then.

“Of course I still love you!” Trevor yells through the tears. “I never stopped fucking loving you!”

Skyler blinks at him. Time stops.

In all the ways he’s imagined hearing those words, it was never like that, with Trevor so upset about it.

“So then…” he starts, not knowing where to go.

“I lose everyone I love!” Trevor sucks in air and swipes harshly at his cheeks. “Don’t you get that? I can’t do this again just to lose you again.”

Oh.

Oh fuck.

Fuck.

He’s such an idiot. He should have known.

“But you didn’t lose me,” he says slowly, wishing desperately that he could erase the pain from Trevor’s face, take it all away from him even if he has to put it on himself. “I’m right here.”

Trevor takes a couple slow breaths, making a visible effort to calm down. “But you were gone. For five years. Losing you was the hardest thing that’s ever happened to me, harder than losing my mom. And I know how awful that sounds, it’s so fucked up. But at least when I lost her, I had you to help me get through it. When I lost you, I had no one.”

Hearing that, even though it’s something Skyler’s already thought about before, is like a punch to the gut. He could be bitter, could mention that Trevor actually had Sierra then. But he’s past that now. He’s over any bitterness or anger. All he feels for Trevor is love.

“You’re right,” he says. “I was gone, and I’m sorry for that. I should have been there for you always. God, you have no idea, I don’t know how I can ever possibly explain how sorry I am. But you know what? You may have lost me once, but not everything that’s lost is gone forever. Sometimes lost things can be found again.”

Shit, there he goes with more cliches. Is he really a multiple-Grammy winning songwriter?

Trevor’s lip quirks up a tad, like he may be thinking something similar. And that’s fine, he can make fun of him as long as he’s smiling. But then he sighs and asks, so quietly Skyler has to lean in, “What about lost people?”

“Definitely lost people can be found again. Like I said, I’m right here, aren’t I?”

“What if I’m not talking about you?”

And Skyler gets it then. When they broke up, Trevor didn’t only lose Skyler. He lost himself. Maybe he feels like he’s still lost.

“Trevor.” He scoots closer until there’s barely any breathing room between them. “You’re the sun. You could never be lost forever. Your soul shines way too brightly for that.”

Seriously, he sounds like such a freaking cornball. But he doesn’t even care. Because this is important. It’s important that Trevor understands how he sees him, what he means to him. And besides, the list of sappy shit they’ve said to each other over the years is already ridiculously long. Might as well add some more.

“And if you’re ever having trouble finding yourself,” he goes on, “ask me for help. Because I can see you. I’ll always see you, always find you. You’re the brightest thing in my sky.”

Trevor sniffles and offers him the barest hint of a smile. “I think you’re the only person who sees me that way.”

“Who the fuck else matters?” he scoffs.

That earns him a laugh.

Trevor shifts, pressing them together even more, hip to thigh. “This is so complicated. How are we supposed to start over when we’ve already been through so much together? It’s weird to say, ‘Hey, I like you, would you like to go on a date with me?’”

“Why do we have to start over? Can’t we just be where we are right now and go from here?”

“I have no idea,” Trevor says.

Skyler brings his hand up to Trevor’s temple. Trevor doesn’t have enough hair to tuck it behind his ear, but he goes through the motion anyway. “Look, we can do whatever you want. We can call it whatever you want. But I don’t think it’s really starting over if we never stopped loving each other.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“I understand you’re scared to fully let me in again, and I can’t see into the future, so I don’t know for sure that you won’t hurt me, or I won’t hurt you. But I can promise I’ll try my absolute hardest not to, and I know you will too. And I think we’re worth the risk.”

Trevor bites his lip, and Skyler holds his breath. He’s said everything he can say. He’s so ready for this, but he needs Trevor to get there too.

After an eternity, Trevor nods. “I think we’re worth it too.”

Hell fucking yes.

“So… ?” he prompts, trying not to let his enthusiasm take over his whole body.

“So… here we are?” Trevor offers.

Skyler grins. “Here we are.”

He needs to kiss him now. He doesn’t care anymore about waiting for Trevor to make the first move. Because it’s been fucking decided. They’re doing this.

But Trevor is the first to move anyway. He grabs Skyler by the back of the head, fingers twisting in his curls, and kisses him. Someone sighs into someone else’s mouth. They’re so connected he doesn’t even know which one of them did it. It doesn’t matter.

All that matters is this.

Skyler only breaks away long enough to say, “I’ve got to tell you, there’s absolutely nowhere else I’d rather be.”

And then they’re kissing some more.

After they’ve had their fill—for the moment, that is, because he’ll never completely get his fill of Trevor Blue, will always want more, and that’s okay—he climbs onto Trevor’s lap, sitting sideways again with his back resting on the arm of the couch. Trevor resumes playing with his hair. There doesn’t seem to be much intent behind it, but if he keeps tugging, Skyler won’t be responsible for what happens next.

“For the record,” Skyler tells him, “if we had to start over, I would. I’d do it all over again for you. The good, the not so good. Everything.”

“I would too,” Trevor says.

“Also for the record, yes, I’d love to go on a date with you.”

Trevor catches the playful look on his face and laughs. “Not sure I asked you on one.”

He shrugs. “I’m pretty sure you said it somewhere in there.”

“Then I guess I’ll have to take you somewhere special.” Trevor holds up a finger when Skyler opens his mouth. “And if you say that going anywhere with me is special, I’ll…” He trails off, the threat entirely empty.

Skyler laughs.

“You’re a dork,” Trevor tells him.

“But I’m your dork.”

“Yeah,” Trevor says. “I guess you are.”

And well. There’s no other response to that but for him to stand and take Trevor’s hand, pulling him up from the couch. “Bedroom. Now.”

“It’s the middle of the day. Don’t tell me you’re tired.”

He shoots Trevor an unamused look for the joke, but then grins because Trevor’s joking with him. Trevor is happy. And when Trevor smiles back at him and allows Skyler to lead him away, Skyler’s probably the happiest he’s ever been.

The first time they ever had sex, Trevor topped, and Skyler never even considered it going the other way. The opposite is true now. He knows he’s going to fuck Trevor. Knows that when Trevor’s feeling vulnerable, it’s what he wants. And Skyler wants it too. He needs to take, and claim, and make sure Trevor understands exactly how much he belongs to him.

But that doesn’t mean it’ll be fast.

Once he’s gotten them both naked, he gently urges Trevor to roll over onto his stomach. There’s so much gorgeous skin for him to enjoy, but his eyes zero in on the tiny sun tattooed on Trevor’s ass. He can’t help himself. He needs to kiss it, nip at it, lick it.

He spends so much time on that one spot that Trevor eventually grows impatient, wriggling all around, trying to get him to divert his attention elsewhere. But Skyler’s not having it. He gets a firm grip on Trevor’s hips to hold him still, and then uses one hand to give his ass a quick, hard slap. Trevor gasps, the sun turns red, and heat blooms inside Skyler too. He remembers what a little bit of spanking will do to Trevor if he’s in the right mood.

He remembers everything.

And he intends to use it all to his advantage.

He gives the sun one more kiss—his sun—and then asks Trevor to turn over. Getting on top, he drinks in the ocean blue eyes staring up at him. How he survived so long without this, he doesn’t know.

Trevor reaches out, curling a hand around the back of Skyler’s neck and using it to bring him closer. Right before Skyler’s lips reach his, Trevor surges up to close the last couple inches between them. Skyler lets him control the kiss at first, but then he pulls away, pleased with the small whine that escapes Trevor’s lips as he does. He’s even more pleased with the moan he earns when he shifts down and sucks one of Trevor’s nipples into his mouth.

Making his way slowly down Trevor’s body, he uses his lips, his teeth, his nails to chart a course over Trevor’s chest and stomach. When he finally reaches his dick, it’s hard and begging for attention. He’s only barely gotten his mouth around the head when Trevor gasps and bucks up wildly, forcing himself farther into Skyler’s mouth.

“I’m sorry!” Trevor pants as Skyler pulls off. “Sorry, I didn’t—”

He sounds well on his way to delirious already, and Skyler shushes him gently. “It’s okay, don’t be sorry. I love how you react to me.”

Trevor makes a pitiful noise at that, but it’s music to Skyler’s ears.

He takes him back in his mouth, this time using one arm across Trevor’s hips to hold him down. Because as much as he doesn’t mind Trevor fucking his mouth—as much as he craves it sometimes—he needs to be completely in charge of making Trevor feel good right now. He presses the tip of his tongue against the sensitive spot underneath Trevor’s head, and as expected, it tears a broken moan from Trevor’s throat.

Skyler gets lost in it for a bit, the rush of knowing exactly how to drive Trevor crazy as he sucks and strokes. But then he stops, not wanting this to be over too soon. And he doesn’t only mean for Trevor. It’s been so long since he’s had this man underneath him, had him in his mouth, that Skyler’s worried he may actually come from this.

Just like the first time, he thinks with a wry smile.

He’s eager for more and knows Trevor’s ready for anything he’s willing to give him. Trevor props himself on his elbows and gazes at him when Skyler moves away from his dick. His eyes are lust-filled, but the amount of trust in them is amazing. Skyler can tell that, despite how desperate Trevor is, he’strusting Skyler to lead them, to make it good.

To make sure they do this right.

All of it.

He’s trusting in Skyler, and even in himself, that after this, everything will still be okay.

And it will be. It’ll be more than okay. Because they’re together again. For real. Even though in so many ways it feels inevitable, not like a choice at all…

It is.

They’re choosing each other.

Even though it got messy the first time, even though it fell apart and nearly destroyed him, Skyler is choosing Trevor again. He’ll choose him over and over again for the rest of time.

And he’s not as na?ve as he was when he was eighteen, so this time he’s not expecting it to be perfect. But Trevor and him. Together now.

It’s going to be something great.

Trevor whimpers, and it’s what’s next? and more and please.

The sweet sound spurs Skyler into action. He hops off the bed and rummages in the bottom drawer of the nightstand, praying he has what he needs there. Grinning triumphantly when he finds a small bottle of lube and a strip of condoms, he tosses them on the bed beside Trevor’s thigh.

“Great, wonderful, lovely,” Trevor says. “Now get on with it please.”

He smirks as he crawls back onto the bed, hovering over Trevor’s body again. “Eager much?”

Trevor gives him an exasperated look. “What do you think?”

He thinks he could spend the rest of his life loving and pleasing and fucking this man.

And he will.

He kisses Trevor, quick but dirty, before backing off. Trevor props himself up again to watch as Skyler settles between his legs. His face changes suddenly, from eager to almost nervous, and Skyler catches it right away.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Trevor shakes his head. “Just go slow. It’s been a long time.”

“How long?”

Trevor huffs. “Can we not do this right now?”

That’s a fair request. And yes, Skyler wants to get on with it too, but. “Baby, please. How long?”

He rubs at Trevor’s thigh, waiting for an answer.

Finally, Trevor sighs and says, “Since you. I haven’t been with anyone but Sierra since you.”

All the air is knocked out of Skyler’s lungs. “I—you—” is all he gets out.

“Don’t make a thing out of it,” Trevor says, starting to look self-conscious, which Skyler can’t have.

He leans down to place a firm kiss on Trevor’s inner thigh. Trevor’s breath hitches at the contact. He turns his head to do the same on the other one, and then whispers against Trevor’s skin. “I love you.”

Trevor doesn’t say it back, but he doesn’t need to. He reaches down and winds his fingers gently through Skyler’s hair, and Skyler gets it.

He’s honestly overwhelmed with the information that Trevor hasn’t been with another man since him. That he’s the only man Trevor’s ever been with.

But this isn’t the time to dwell on it. He focuses on the important part right now—Trevor hasn’t been fucked in years. Skyler was already planning to take his time, to go slow, to draw this out. But this only fuels him to go at an even torturously slower pace. He’s going to make sure Trevor’s comfortable and enjoys every delicious second of it. Going to show Trevor he belongs to him. As if either of them doesn’t already know.

He feels a twinge of guilt as he warms the lube between his fingers and brings them down to Trevor’s hole. Because he’s been with other men since Trevor, a lot of them. But he ignores it. He did what he thought he needed to do at the time. Anything to dull the pain.

Not that it ever really worked.

When he slowly sinks his first finger in, Skyler thinks that no matter how many other people he’s been with, nothing’s ever compared to this. The way Trevor looks—lips parted and eyes rolled back, sweat already gathering on his forehead, all the inked up, muscled skin. The way his body accepts Skyler so beautifully. The connection between them that goes so much deeper than the physical.

This is it.

This is what’s been missing for years. And he has it back now.

Trevor’s tight around his finger but still letting him in easily, and Skyler can’t drag his eyes away from the spot where they’re joined. He knows the one finger isn’t enough, but he doesn’t care how long it takes. He waits until Trevor lets out a whispered request for more.

He’s even more careful when he adds the second one. Takes it as a good sign when Trevor’s arms give out and his head falls back down to the pillow.

This time when Trevor eventually utters, “More,” Skyler ignores it. He keeps going at his own pace, unwilling to be hurried. Trevor whines but doesn’t say anything else, just reaches down until he finds Skyler’s free hand and holds on to it.

Skyler stares at the tiny S tattooed in the area between Trevor’s thumb and forefinger. Being around Trevor recently, he’s done his best to avoid looking at it. But now he can’t tear his eyes away from the proof that Trevor is his. Only his.

When Skyler hits that spot inside of him, Trevor squeezes his hand. Skyler squeezes back and does it again. And again. He does it until Trevor is a whimpering, squirming mess, and then he eases up. He could make Trevor come like this, on just two fingers. And then he could most likely make him come again on his dick. But he doesn’t want it that way. He’s not going to take the edge off. He’s going to make him wait.

He”s making himself wait too, his dick painfully hard between his legs, and it’s taking a lot of self-control. But self-control is something he’s practiced over the years. And anyway, it doesn’t take as much as it took him to not give into Trevor’s drunken desires the other night.

He reluctantly lets go of Trevor’s hand so he can add more lube to his fingers, and when he pushes in a third one, Trevor grips his own thigh. He seems calmer though, temporarily sated by being filled even more.

That is, until after a few minutes of Skyler spreading him open, teasing at his prostrate, when Trevor breaks, hips thrashing, noises spilling, incoherent words tumbling from his lips. Skyler can only make out two of them. A chorus of “Come on, come on.”

Finally, he decides to take pity on him—and himself—and carefully withdraws his fingers. He blindly searches for the condoms he left on the bed.

Before he can find them, Trevor grabs his arm, sitting up. “No.”

“No?”

“We don’t need—I mean—I’m—Are you?”

Skyler sighs in relief. “Yeah, I’m clean. Are you sure you don’t want one?”

Trevor shakes his head vehemently. “Want to feel you. Please.”

“Baby,” is all he can say. And he’s not sure when he started using the pet name that Trevor used to use for him, but it feels right. He hastily wipes his fingers on the duvet before taking Trevor in his arms. He kisses his lips, his cheek, then whispers in his ear, “Going to make it so good for you, I promise.”

“You always have,” Trevor says. “Love you.”

He shakes his head, in awe of this man. “You don’t even know.”

Trevor smiles and nudges him away so he can lie back down. Skyler repositions his body above him and takes himself in his hand. Eyes locked on Trevor’s, he guides himself to Trevor’s entrance and starts to push in.

He watches for any sign of discomfort, stilling when he sees it, the tiniest wince that Trevor tries to hide. But he’s done a very thorough job of prepping him, and he knows how turned on Trevor is, how badly he wants it. A couple seconds later, Trevor nods, which Skyler takes as permission to slowly slide in the rest of the way.

Once his pelvis is flush against Trevor’s ass, it all feels so good, he’s not sure he’s going to survive this. He remembers doing this for the first time ten years ago, thinking how they fit together like they were made for each other. And even after all this time, that hasn’t changed.

“You can move,” Trevor says.

But he needs to reply, “Give me a minute.”

Trevor smirks at him, and, All right, you little shit. Skyler pulls out almost all the way and then sinks back in. It’s not rough, not fast, but it makes Trevor gasp anyway.

Skyler continues to fuck him so slowly. Doesn’t know if they’ve ever been this gentle, even the very first time. It goes on for a long time, until his body is burning up with the desire to go faster, to chase his release. But every part of Trevor is trembling underneath him now, and Skyler’s heart won’t allow him to go any faster than this.

He wants it to last. Wants to stay inside Trevor, stay connected, forever.

Finally, Trevor digs his fingers hard into Skyler’s back, right beneath his shoulder blades. “I can’t,” he breathes out. “Please, I can’t—I need to—”

And Skyler knows it’s time. “Go on. Come for me, baby.”

The permission is apparently all it takes, because he doesn’t change his pace, but suddenly Trevor is clenching like a vice around him, his back arching off the bed as he shoots all over his stomach and chest. He’s crying and murmuring, “Loveyouloveyouloveyou,” and Skyler thinks he might cry too.

But he holds himself together, tightens his grip on Trevor’s sides, and gives a few harder thrusts, drawing a final gasp out of Trevor. And then he’s emptying himself inside of him.

He collapses to the bed, rolling over to not crush Trevor underneath him. Trevor immediately adjusts so he can wrap an arm around Skyler’s waist and rest his head on his chest, his stomach pressed against Skyler’s side. They’re messy and sticky, but it doesn’t matter.

Skyler gets his arm around Trevor’s shoulders and holds him tightly. If it’s up to him, he’s never fucking letting go. Not again.