Page 18 of Heartbreak Honey

Now

Skyler’s in the grocery store trying to decide what to make for dinner for him and Trevor tonight when his phone starts going off with alerts. He ignores it in favor of checking out the local squash selection. A squash risotto might be nice.

Trevor has spent the night a few times now, and Skyler loves it. They keep up the pretense that he’s going to sleep in the guest room, but every time, Skyler stays awake until Trevor comes to his room.

Maybe what they’re doing isn’t exactly normal. But it’s them. They’ve never been normal. What they have is so much better than normal.

It isn’t until he gets back home, ready to start preparing dinner, that Skyler checks his phone and sees an evacuation warning has been issued for Malibu. The fire that was supposed to be contained has rapidly shifted and could be coming this way.

Shit.

They’re advising high-risk residents to get out now, and that an evacuation order may be forthcoming within twenty-four hours if they can’t get it back under control. He’s gotten warnings before, and they’ve never turned into an actual order. But it’s always safest for him to stay somewhere else anyway, because even if the fire doesn’t come, the smoke can get bad, and he can’t afford to harm his vocal cords.

He’s not sure if it makes him crazy that he’s less concerned about his house than he is disappointed at how he’ll have to give up his nights with Trevor for a bit.

But then he sees they’re also suggesting precautionary evacuations all the way down to Santa Monica. Which is concerning. It’s been forever since the fires got down that far. Maybe Trevor should evacuate with him. The county is only being safe by suggesting it, but things can change quickly. He doesn’t want to be somewhere else and then Trevor doesn’t have a way to get out if he needs to.

They could always go stay at his place in New York. Almost everything he needs is already in his apartment there, so he won’t have to pack much. He’ll ask Trevor when he gets here, and they can get on a plane tomorrow.

Or that’s what he thinks.

When Trevor and Stella show up, however, and Skyler mentions the warnings, Trevor tries to shrug it off. “It’s only a precaution, it doesn’t mean anything,” he says as Skyler grabs plates from the cabinet. “Santa Monica never gets hit. You should go though.”

“I’m going to stay at my New York apartment,” Skyler tells him. “And you should come with me.”

“I don’t need to.”

Skyler starts loading up their plates, wondering if it was weird for him to ask Trevor to stay with him. If it’s too much. But he can’t back down now that he’s said it. He wants him to come, and he’ll be too worried about him if he doesn”t. “I know it’s unlikely, but Santa Monica has had a fire before. If the wind picks up fast enough, you never know what could happen. If we have an easy way to get out, then we should take it. We can’t wait until it’s too late and it becomes chaos. You live in California, you know this.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Trevor insists. “I can’t lose my house.”

“What do you think you can do? Blow the fire away?”

“Screw you.”

He flinches. “Shit. I’m sorry.” He’s not trying to be rude, but he doesn’t understand why Trevor’s so adamant about not leaving. “You need to be smart about this though.”

“Are you saying I’m dumb?”

“No! I—”

“You know what?” Trevor says. “I think I’m going to head out. I should probably get working on that fire safety preparedness stuff they tell us to do, right?”

“Wait, you don’t—”

“Sorry about dinner. Uh. Have fun in New York.”

What the hell?

He doesn’t move, momentarily stunned as he watches Trevor spin around and rush to pick up Stella’s bowls off the floor. But when Trevor bolts out of the kitchen, Skyler runs to catch up with him, asking him to stay.

“I’ll see you when you get back,” Trevor says, ignoring the request, and then he’s nudging Stella out the door.

Skyler has no idea what just happened. It feels like he’s missing something. He’s not even sure if that was a fight or not. He wants to call Trevor right now and ask to talk about it, but maybe it’s better to wait until tomorrow morning. The warning could be canceled by then anyway.

He’s less sure if he should leave now. But he shouldn’t let whatever Trevor does affect what he does, so he calls his assistant and asks him to arrange transportation for tomorrow afternoon.

He’ll get everything sorted out in the morning.

Skyler’s ringing phone wakes him up in the morning. Seeing it’s only six a.m., he groans but answers anyway because it’s his mom. “Hey. Is everything okay?”

“Are you evacuating?” she asks, forgoing a greeting.

He sits up and rubs his eyes. “Yeah. I mean, probably.”

As his mom tells him that she’s going to be worried until he does, he puts her on speaker and checks the news on his phone. The warning hasn’t been upgraded to an order yet, but things aren’t looking too good either. Damn.

“Okay, I hear you,” he says. “I’ll go stay in New York.”

“That’ll be nice, you’ll get to see your sister!” His mom suddenly sounds cheerful, as if they aren’t discussing a potentially deadly fire.

He needs to talk to Trevor. But first he needs to know if he’s being ridiculous by trying to get Trevor to come with him. He only recently told his mom about he and Trevor spending time together, not wanting to jinx it at first. But now that she knows, he might as well ask her opinion.

“Mom, they’re suggesting for Santa Monica to evacuate too. It’s just a precaution at this point, but how long’s it been since Santa Monica was even mentioned? It sounds bad. So I asked Trevor to come with me.”

“That’s good,” she says. “I’m glad.”

“But he won’t do it. He doesn’t want to leave his damn house.”

“I know, but you understand why, don’t you?”

“No,” he starts. But—“Wait. What do you mean you know? How?”

There’s a long pause before she answers. “Oh, I don’t know. I only meant that, well, that was his mom’s house, right? I can imagine he’d be terrified of losing it. That’s all I meant. I didn’t mean I know, only that I was assuming.”

Huh?

“Mom.”

“What?”

“You’re being weird.”

She laughs, but it sounds forced even through the phone. “No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are,” he argues with her.

There”s a pause before she says, “All right, fine. I guess I need to tell you something.”

“I’m listening.” He”s so damn confused at this point.

She sighs, and then—“Trevor and I kept in contact after you two broke up.”

What. The. Fuck.

“This whole time?”

“Yes. We talk on the phone every other month or so. Occasionally more.”

Trevor and his mom. Every other month. They talk.

Skyler didn’t get to talk to Trevor for five damn years, and it killed him every single one of those days. How is this fucking fair?

“I don’t understand.” He bunches the sheet underneath him tightly in his fist, feeling like the bed has tilted and he might fall out. “Why? And how could you never tell me about this?”

“Sweetie, I’m sorry. I really am. But you know Trevor was like family when you two were together all those years. And afterward, that poor boy still needed someone. I didn’t tell you because he begged me not to, but I promise we agreed to never discuss anything having to do with you.”

Skyler gets out of bed and stomps into his closet to get dressed and pack his duffle bag. He doesn’t have time for this.

“Please try to understand,” his mom says.

“I don’t know if I can right now because I think I need a while to process this. And I need to get ready to leave.” As he cradles the phone between his ear and shoulder and shimmies into a pair of lounge pants, he remembers her original comment. “So wait. You’ve already talked to him about the fire warning?”

“He called me yesterday as soon as he found out. I told him he should get out just to be safe, but he wasn’t entirely listening to me. He was so upset over the thought of possibly losing his house. That house means a lot to him. He’d be covered with insurance, but you can’t replace the memories. His mom only lived there for a short time, but he bought it for her, you know? He was so proud of being able to buy her that house.”

“Shit.” Skyler should have realized this sooner. He knows Trevor well enough. And he remembers how proud Trevor was when he bought the house, because he was right there with him, helping pick it out.

Skyler wanted to buy his parents a new house too, but they wouldn’t let him, insisting they were perfectly happy with the one they had. He did pay off the rest of their mortgage though. There wasn’t much left on it, but even that had taken a lot of convincing. His sister Layla, on the other hand, didn’t need any convincing to let him buy her an apartment in New York when she moved there for nursing school.

“That’s part of the reason I was calling you,” his mom goes on. “I knew it would be an easy decision for you to leave, but I was going to ask if you could get Trevor to leave too. I just didn’t know how to do it without breaking his trust.”

“You didn’t break his trust. This is important.” He puts the phone on speaker again so he can text Mike. “Okay, so I get why he doesn’t want to leave his house, and I know I need to try to convince him. But was it too much inviting him to New York? Should I tell him to get a hotel closer instead? What if, on top of freaking out about his house, he also freaked out because he doesn’t want to stay with me? I mean, we’re not even…”

“Oh, honey, yes you are,” his mom says gently when he trails off. “Of course you are.”

He’s not sure what he was going to say. That close. Together. Ready for any of this. But she sounds so certain that he believes her. Whatever it is, whether they’ve said it out loud or even been able to admit it to themselves… they are.

“Thanks mom, but I’ve got to go now. I need to hurry and get to Trevor’s.”

“Yes, go. Please get him to evacuate. I’ll be too worried about him if he stays there alone.”

“So will I,” he admits.

“I’m sure if anyone can convince him, it’s you. But if he’s not listening, make him call me again, okay?”

He agrees, while still trying to grasp the fact that Trevor and his mom talk. It feels like a betrayal, and he’s not sure who he feels more betrayed by.

Is he being dramatic though? His mom would never betray him. It wasn’t like she was telling Trevor how much Skyler missed him for the last five years. If she wants to talk to Trevor, she has the right to. He only wishes she told him sooner. Like five years ago.

Although, to be fair, he was such a wreck right after he and Trevor split up that he probably wouldn’t have been anywhere close to rational about it then.

After getting off the phone with his mom, he talks to his assistant to get everything sorted out, and twenty minutes later, Mike’s SUV pulls up. He spends the drive to Santa Monica trying not to fidget, rehearsing in his head what he’s going to say to Trevor. But when Mike parks at the curb in front of Trevor’s house, he starts to panic. If Trevor didn’t even want to discuss the idea of leaving last night, how the hell will showing up at his house and demanding he leave right now go over any better?

It won’t. This isn’t going to work. Trevor’s going to say no, and it’s not like Skyler’s going to physically drag him out of his house. He could if he had to. Or Mike could, at least. But it’s not that serious. Yet.

From all the traffic on the road when they left, it appears the people of Malibu are taking this seriously and getting out already. But the chances of the fire reaching Santa Monica are so much slimmer. Maybe it’s irrational that he’s even considering the possibility of dragging Trevor out of his own house.

Actually. Fuck that. Even if it is irrational, he doesn’t care, because he’d do the same if it were his sister or his parents. There’s no reason for Trevor to be in any risk of danger at all when Skyler has a plane and an apartment. They’re getting out of here whether Trevor likes it or not.

“Are you getting out?”

“Yes.” Wait. He turns to Mike beside him in the driver’s seat. “What?”

Mike rolls his eyes. “We’ve been sitting in front of this guy’s house in a giant SUV with tinted windows for three minutes now. If he looks outside, he’ll think someone’s here to rob him. So I was asking if you were planning to actually get out of the car.”

“Right. Yeah. Sorry.”

He undoes his seatbelt, telling Mike he can wait here. Then he gets out and strolls as confidently as he can up to Trevor’s door and knocks. It’s still early, so he expects to have to knock a while to wake Trevor, but instead the door opens thirty seconds later, and while Trevor looks tired, he doesn’t look like he just rolled out of bed.

“I’m surprised you’re awake,” Skyler says.

Trevor stares at him, blinking a few times, then says, “I’m surprised you’re standing on my doorstep. What are you doing here?”

“Well.” He’s not sure if he should start out by asking first or go straight to demanding. “I’m here to hopefully get you to come to New York with me.”

Trevor’s face darkens. “Are you kidding? I said no.”

“Can we at least talk about it? Please?”

Trevor glances up and down the street over Skyler’s shoulders. “Just come inside before someone sees you.”

Skyler’s wearing pants and long sleeves to cover his tattoos, and his hair is pulled up under a beanie. Plus there’s only like four other houses on this whole street, so he doesn’t think anyone’s going to be paying any attention to him out here. But going inside is a good idea anyway, so when Trevor steps aside, he moves past him.

Stella comes flying at him with her tail wagging. He bends down to pet her as she jumps up, and they almost knock heads. Laughing, he scratches behind her ears and down her neck.

“Yeah, yeah, my dog loves you,” Trevor says gruffly. “Can we get back to the part about how I’m not going to New York with you?”

He straightens up. “Why not?”

“Because I told you I don’t want to leave.”

“Trevor.” He closes the distance between them and reaches for Trevor’s hand, keeping his grip loose so Trevor can pull away if he wants to. But Skyler hopes he doesn’t. “I understand how much this house means to you. I do. I know you have memories of your mom here. But your mom would want you to be safe more than anything else. Right?”

Trevor stares down at their hands, transfixed. Skyler’s not sure if he heard a word he said. But then Trevor looks back up at him and shakes his head. “I’ll go if they issue an order, but not before then.”

“If you wait, you might not have time to get out safely,” he reasons. “And what good does it do for you to stay here? I don’t want to go to worst-case scenario, because we know the fires haven’t reached Santa Monica since probably before we were born, and it’s unlikely that’ll happen. But this fire isn’t slowing down, and you need to be prepared. If the worst did happen, you being in the house when the fire comes won’t save the house. It”ll kill you.”

“I know.”

“So what are you still doing here?”

Trevor looks down at their hands again. “I just—I can’t.”

Stella whines and paws at Skyler’s shoe. He’s reluctant to let go of Trevor’s hand, but he does, reaching down to give the dog a few pats. Then he straightens up and fixes his gaze on Trevor again. “What about Stella? Don’t you want her to be safe?”

Trevor’s eyes flash with anger, and all right, that was a low blow. But he’s willing to say anything at this point to convince him to go.

When Trevor doesn’t verbally respond, Skyler groans in frustration. “Look. I’m supposed to be flying out of here soon, and I’m not leaving without you.”

“You have to,” Trevor says. “You can’t stay in your house. The fire’s a lot more likely to hit Malibu. They’ll probably issue an order by the end of the day.”

“So I’ll stay here with you then.”

“That’s not…”

“Good enough, since they could evacuate here too?” Skyler says sharply, patience wearing thin and worry really starting to get the best of him. “I know. But if you’re staying here, then I’m staying here.”

Trevor frowns at him. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not leaving without you,” he repeats. He’s not sure if he’s bluffing or not, but Trevor knows how stubborn he can be, so hopefully he believes him. And it’s probably a childish tactic, but Trevor used to do anything to protect him when they were together. Maybe that instinct’s still there. His own instinct to care about Trevor certainly never went away.

They stare at each other for so long he half expects Mike to come barging in and force him back into the car. Force both of them, maybe. But he needs Trevor to get there on his own.

“I’m not sticking Stella under a plane. It’s dangerous.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. I got us a private plane.”

“You got—”

“A plane. Yes. Out of a private airport. So you don’t have to worry about people seeing us together and Stella can fly in the cabin with us.”

Trevor stares at him another minute, and Skyler tries not to get his hopes up, but he seems to be wearing down. Then—“Fine.”

Yes!

“Thank god. Now let’s hurry up and get you packed.”

Trevor gives him one more scornful look. “You’re pushy, you know that?”

“Eh.”

“Wait. What about Mike and Hal? Do they have somewhere to go?”

He nods, pleased that Trevor cares about them. “Hal’s staying with family in Vegas. And Mike’s coming with us.”

“Oh.”

“He’s not staying in the apartment,” he clarifies. “I’ve got a place for him.”

“Okay.”

Skyler follows Trevor as he walks through the house. Looking around, he realizes he’s never been in this house since Trevor’s lived here. But he visited quite a few times when Trevor’s mom did. Trevor kept a lot of her furniture.

When Stacey died, he and Trevor were living together. Trevor refused to sell the house, but he didn’t do anything with it either. Just let it sit unoccupied. Skyler’s glad the pain at least eased enough to allow Trevor to come back here. He’s glad the house is a home again.

And he really, really hopes Trevor doesn’t lose it now. He’s already lost too much.

Skyler realizes if the fire manages to get down this far, then in all likelihood, that’d mean his own house would be gone too, but that’s not his biggest concern.

“Are there things you want to take with you to keep safe?” he asks as he follows Trevor into his bedroom. “Keepsakes or whatever? Take anything you need to.”

Trevor stops and turns, raising his eyebrows at him. “Pretty sure you can’t fit the whole house in that car out front. But yeah, I already pulled out all that stuff to be ready in case I had to leave.” He points to a clear plastic storage bin on the floor that’s peeking out from the other side of the bed.

Skyler walks over to check it out. He sees photo albums inside, framed pictures carefully bubble wrapped, and other miscellaneous stuff. He bends down and picks it up. “Damn, this is heavy.”

“Put it down, I’ll get it,” Trevor says.

“No, it’s fine. You’re not the only one with muscles now, you know.”

He started working out with Trevor a long time ago, when the pressure to be not only a singer but a heartthrob really kicked in. And now he has a personal trainer. It was different when there were five of them to keep the audience entertained at their shows. Now that it’s only him, he needs to occupy the entire stage. Needs to be in good shape to run around all over the place every night for months at a time on tour. He’ll always have a smaller frame than Trevor, but he’s not scrawny anymore.

Trevor smiles at him. “Oh, I know. You’re probably stronger than I am now, but I can still get it myself.”

“I doubt I’m stronger than you.”

“Do I look like I bother working out anymore?”

“You look fine,” he says automatically. He’s tempted to say something more. Like, You’re still hot as fuck, but he can’t.

Maybe Trevor can read it on his face though, because he’s looking at him curiously.

He shifts the weight of the box in his arms, and it is freaking heavy, so he’s not even running away when he says, “I better take this out to the car before I drop it.” Not entirely running, anyway.

When he goes back inside, Mike accompanies him, though he waits by the front door for Trevor and Skyler to hand him things. Trevor packs his clothes while Skyler gathers up some of Stella’s stuff for him, and soon they’re ready to leave.

With the SUV loaded up, he and Trevor get in the backseat. He hates riding in back—hates treating Mike like his driver. But he wants to sit with Trevor because Trevor must be feeling a lot right now as they drive away from his house. Mike is perfectly happy having Stella up front with him anyway.

Once they hit the highway, he can breathe easier. Hopefully, getting Trevor to evacuate turns out to be unnecessary. Hopefully him evacuating turns out to be unnecessary. But better safe than sorry, and honestly, he could stand to get away from L.A. for a while.

He’s happy he’ll get to see his sister, though probably not as much as he’d like to, since her job keeps her super busy.

“I mentioned my sister’s in New York, right?” he says to Trevor. “She lives in the same building as me.

“I’m surprised she can afford that.”

“I bought the apartment for her.”

“Wow, that’s generous.”

“Anyway,” he goes on quickly, because he doesn’t need to be praised for taking care of his family. Anyone else would do the same. “I’ll want to spend time with her, but I don’t know if that would be weird for you, so you don’t have to see her if you don’t want to.”

Trevor shakes his head. “It’s not weird. I’d love to see your sister.”

“Cool.”

Skyler can’t help but smile. Trevor and Layla used to get along great, which always made him happy. Even if their way of bonding was by ganging up to make fun of him.

He stops smiling when he remembers his conversation with his mom. Even though Trevor was close to his family when they were together, it was weird for him to keep in touch with Skyler’s mom after they broke up, right? And especially to hide it from him. Except he’s not sure it counts as hiding it, considering he and Trevor weren’t speaking to each other.

Unable to think of a tactful way to bring it up, he blurts out, “Were you ever going to tell me you’ve been talking to my mom all these years?”

Trevor’s body stiffens and he suddenly looks distinctly uncomfortable. “I…”

“I don’t get it. She swore you guys never talked about me, but I don’t see why else you’d be calling her if it wasn’t to talk about me behind my back.”

Frowning, Trevor glances toward the front seat where Mike is dutifully pretending not to listen. “Not everything’s about you.”

“So what did you have to talk to her about?”

“Me. My life.”

“Why?” Skyler asks, trying desperately to understand.

Trevor doesn’t answer for a few moments. And when he does, it’s so quiet Skyler almost misses it. “You said she was my mom too.”

Oh.

Shit.

He did say that. They were together long enough that their families naturally became like each other’s families. But he did, in fact, specifically say those words.

After Trevor’s own mom died.

Trevor angles his body toward the window and away from him, looking like he wants to curl in on himself.

And shit shit shit.

Skyler’s such an idiot. His mom even tried to tell him. She said Trevor needed someone. Of course he did. He must have felt so alone the last five years.

“I’m sorry, I’ll stop talking to her if you want,” Trevor says, not looking at him.

“No! No, don’t be sorry,” he rushes to say. “You have nothing to be sorry about. I overreacted. I just found out about it this morning, and it threw me off.” He reaches over and takes Trevor’s hand, this time holding it tightly, not caring if Trevor wants to pull away. He won’t let him. “She is your mom too. She always will be, okay?”

Trevor finally turns his head to him but doesn’t say anything.

Skyler squeezes his hand. “I promise I don’t mind if you keep talking to her. But I want you to know you can talk to me too. About anything. I get that you couldn’t do that before, but you can now. I’m not going anywhere.”

Trevor nods, though he still doesn’t say anything. But he doesn’t try to pull his hand away either.

They’re quiet for a minute, and Skyler starts to realize this was an awkward conversation to have with his security guard sitting two feet in front of them.

Then Trevor says, “Thank you,” and squeezes his hand.

And well. It doesn’t matter.