Page 43 of Heartbreak Honey

Now

Skyler’s pretty sure he and Trevor are living together. It happened naturally, so it took him a while to realize it. The fact that Trevor hasn’t slept at his own house in who knows how long.

They each have space here to do their own things. Trevor likes to swim while Skyler does yoga or works out. Skyler does the Sunday crossword puzzle and calls his dad for help with the clues he doesn’t know, while Trevor watches sports with Mike at his apartment or they play with Stella outside.

Skyler’s favorite times, though, are when they’re each doing their own thing but sharing the same space. It was a moment like that last week, with Skyler painting his toes a light purple to match the nails Trevor did for him, and Trevor on his phone trying to catch up on arranging lessons for his students, that made Skyler first wonder if this might be considered living together.

At some point, Trevor stopped acting like a guest and started acting like Skyler’s home was his home too.

And that. That’s everything to him.

That prompted him to have a dresser rush delivered. And a new mattress because his is too soft for Trevor’s back. Now there’s more stuff filling up all the empty spaces in the house, his pantry’s stocked with unhealthy snacks he doesn’t like but Trevor loves, and he couldn’t be happier about any of this.

He wants Trevor to see there’s plenty of room for him in Skyler’s life. That Skyler wants him here. Doesn’t ever want him to leave. Not again. He doesn’t want to come home after a self-imposed isolation at his parents’ house in Ohio to find that Trevor has taken all his stuff and left Skyler with nothing but furniture that holds too many memories for him to keep.

He needs to tread lightly though. Neither of them has said anything to make it official. He’s afraid to push too much. Everything needs to be at Trevor’s pace.

Because if either of them still has any hesitations, it’s Trevor. Skyler’s been all-fucking-in since the moment he saw Trevor sitting on that bench in the park in Santa Monica, waiting for him. When Trevor basically called him an idiot for wearing all black to disguise his identity.

No, scratch that.

He’s been all in since the moment their eyes locked at that crowded audition ten years ago before they even knew each other’s names.

Now they know everything you could possibly know about another person without actually being inside that person’s head. But man, sometimes he wishes he could be inside Trevor’s head. So he’d know for sure that Trevor’s as in this as he is.

It certainly feels like he is every time Trevor wanders into the music room while Skyler’s working on stuff for his new album, offering opinions and support, or simply enjoying the chance to listen.

Skyler loves it. He loves how they share the same passion, and that even though they’re not in the band together anymore, Trevor is still genuinely interested in his music. He has professional songwriters working with him, of course. Plus the support of his label. But for the first time in his solo career, he has the person he trusts most in the world by his side during the process of making an album—possibly the most important album of his career—and it’s making Skyler feel kind of invincible.

It makes him feel like maybe he can share with Trevor and the world the song that’s been slowly building in his heart since Trevor came back into his life. The one that reached a crescendo last night when Trevor came into the kitchen for a glass of water and did something as simple as pausing to give Skyler a quick kiss on the cheek before he walked out again.

This morning, when Skyler woke up, the first thing he did was head to his music room, because he was finally ready to let the lyrics out.

Eventually Trevor stumbles in, a little bleary-eyed and sleep rumpled. “Wow, you got to work early. How’s it going?”

Skyler grins, eager to share what he’s been in here by himself obsessing over for the past hour. “Well, you know the album is almost finished, right? But I kept thinking it was missing something. One song to tie it all together thematically and represent this new era for me as a publicly out gay artist.”

“We talked about how you don’t need to do anything differently than you would before,” Trevor reminds him as he takes a seat.

“I know. But I want to do something different. Something big. Something proud.”

Now Trevor’s smiling like he gets it. Smiling like the sun and allowing Skyler to bask in his warmth.

Skyler fiddles with his guitar strap. “And I think I finally found the missing song. I don’t have all the lyrics yet, it’s more like a concept, but uh, I think it’s called ‘He’s Mine.’”

Trevor raises an interested eyebrow but doesn’t say anything.

“I’d really like to play it for you,” he forges ahead. “What I have so far anyway. Because it’s…” All about you. Everything is about you. “Well. You’ll see. And I was hoping if you like it, if you think it should be on the album, you might be able to help me with the rest of it.”

Trevor is quiet a few moments, studying the floor. But then he looks up and nods. “Let’s hear it then.”

Skyler clears his throat. He’s played his other new stuff for Trevor; he shouldn’t be nervous anymore. But he kind of is, because this… This might be the most important song he’s ever written. And if Trevor disagrees, if he doesn’t want him to release it, he’s not sure what he’ll do.

He starts playing the slow melody as he explains that he only has the chorus and a few other random lines, and Trevor gives him an understanding smile. Then he sings.

And heeee

He’s everything I need

Showed me who I could be

Picks me up when I fall behind

Makes me feel like I can do anything

As long as he is mine

And he’s mine, he’s mine, he’s mine

Skyler didn’t realize it until now, but the last line of the chorus is reminiscent of the It’s you, it’s you, it’s you in the first song he ever wrote for Trevor. When he stops playing and looks up, he thinks maybe Trevor heard it too. And the awe in Trevor’s eyes is magnified ten times from what it was that day years ago.

“That’s… You… I…”

He waits for Trevor to gather his thoughts, heart pounding in his chest. But at least that lets him know it’s still there, when it sort of feels like it might have fallen out while he was singing and landed on the floor at Trevor’s feet.

Finally, Trevor stands and walks over to him, carefully taking the guitar and cradling it in his own arms, giving it a few strums. Then he begins playing, effortlessly copying Skyler’s melody. And Skyler shouldn’t be surprised by his ability to do that. Trevor’s the one who taught him to play, after all.

“Maybe for a verse,” Trevor says, eyebrows sort of questioning if what he’s doing is okay, “you could have something like this.”

Dimples make him look innocent, but it’s all an act

‘Cause he’s a devil when he’s lying under me

My gorgeous, perfect tease

Skyler gasps, pretending to be scandalized. But he’s actually floored at how easily Trevor added to his song, how willing he is to accept it and make it work. Trevor’s eyes are sparking playfully as he shrugs.

“That’s about me though,” Skyler says, recovering. “It’s supposed to be about you. I can’t sing about myself.”

“Sure, you can,” Trevor tells him. “Maybe it could be about me and it could be about you. About us.” He hands back the guitar. “I could never sing something like that, but you could sing it for us both.”

Skyler loves that. That this song that already feels so important to him could be both of theirs. They’ve written tons of songs together before, and Trevor’s helped on other ones for this album already, but this would be different. He loves the idea that he could sing the words Trevor wants to sing himself but can’t, whatever his reasons.

They mess around with it some more, exchanging lyrics like kisses, and Skyler’s not even aware of how much time has passed before they have a finished song.

It’s an amazing feeling, collaborating on music with Trevor like the old days. And the song is everything he wanted it to be, but…

“Is it too much?” he asks, after playing it through for the third time. He knows Trevor will understand what he means.

Trevor frowns, taking a while to answer. “There’s only one way to find out, isn’t there?”

And while Skyler maybe wanted a little more reassurance, he supposes that’s good enough.