Page 16 of Heartbreak Honey

Before

A COUPLE WEEKS INTO THE TOUR, the band finally stayed in the same place for more than a day. Being on tour felt amazing, but so did sleeping in an actual bed and going outside to breathe fresh air.

They had a TV interview to do in the evening, but their morning and afternoon were free. After going out to breakfast with the guys, Trevor and Skyler went off on their own. Trevor held Skyler’s hand as they walked the downtown streets, unconcerned with what random strangers might think of them together.

Loving Skyler wasn’t something he’d ever be ashamed of.

But when he realized a couple of young girls were watching them, he very regretfully dropped Skyler’s hand. Because right. That was their target demographic, and they needed to keep their relationship separate from the attention of the band.

Being forced to second-guess his actions sucked, but he tried not to let it bother him as he followed Skyler into a bookstore, where Skyler proceeded to pile book after book into Trevor’s arms.

“You won’t even have time to read these,” he reasoned as Skyler added yet another one to the growing stack.

“I’ll find time.” Skyler turned a corner into the History section and immediately reached for another. “Ooh, my dad would love this. I’ll have to send it to him.”

Trevor smiled indulgently and didn’t complain no matter how bored he grew.

By the time they made it out of the store, the paper bag Trevor carried was so heavy it’d be a miracle if it didn’t rip. A block down the street, he spotted something that made him come to an abrupt halt, books smacking painfully into his thigh.

It was a whim, and he didn’t usually do things on a whim. But across the street stood a shop, a neon sign in the window flashing the word tattoo.

“I’m going to get one,” he announced.

“Huh?” Skyler said.

He pointed at the shop.

Skyler followed his line of sight and beamed. “Oh my god, yes!”

Skyler’s enthusiasm was contagious, emboldening him as they made their way across the street. Upon entering the shop, though, Trevor realized he had no clue what he wanted to get.

“Is your mom going to kill you?” Skyler asked, flipping through a book of flash drawings.

“I’m sure she won’t be thrilled about it. But her argument about being able to find a job is weak now. We’re on fucking tour. Like you said, we made it.”

Skyler nodded. “You’ll have to tell her that.”

Trevor grinned, an idea forming. “You know what? I think I will.”

Skyler gave him a puzzled look, but then matched his grin when Trevor told the artist what he wanted.

It was probably a ridiculous idea, but when it was done, Skyler couldn’t stop staring in awe at the tattoo until the artist wrapped it in plastic. Trevor was amazed too. He’d gotten his first tattoo. On his forearm, right underneath the crease of his elbow, in bold letters.

look mom

i made it

Trevor was entertaining himself by making faces at Skyler, trying to make him laugh while Georgia patted foundation onto his face. Georgia pretended to be exasperated with the two of them, but he caught her cracking a smile.

In the middle of sticking his tongue out, Trevor’s phone rang and, shit. He should have expected a call from his mom.

One of the interviewers had pointed out his freshly wrapped tattoo earlier and made him show it off on live TV. His mom watched all their interviews, and that wasn’t how he’d wanted her to find out.

He’d managed to hide it from Maggie until then too. But as soon as the cameras had cut, she’d marched over to him and grabbed his wrist, twisting harshly to see his forearm. Then, surprisingly, she’d only shaken her head and let him go without a word. As far as he was concerned, that was a green light to get more if he wanted.

His mom, however, would surely have something to say.

“Hey,” he answered cautiously. “Let me go somewhere more private before you start yelling at me, okay?”

“Sure,” she said.

As he opened the dressing room door, Lana, his stylist, looked up from where she was working on Noah and called after him, “I need you in this chair in fifteen minutes.”

Trevor gave her a nod before slipping out into the hallway. Venue staff marched past him in both directions as he looked for a quiet spot. He’d go to the band’s shared greenroom, but Oli and Jermaine were probably hanging out in there. When he saw a janitor’s closet, he ducked inside, figuring it was as good a place as any to get lectured.

“All right, mom,” he said, leaning against a shelf of cleaning products, “let me have it.”

“Oh, stop being so dramatic, kid. I’m not mad at you.”

“You’re not?”

His mom laughed. “No. I was surprised, that’s for sure. But honestly, I thought it was kind of sweet. I watched some videos this morning that fans posted from your show last night, and I almost can’t believe that’s my baby up there. You—” Her voice broke, her sentence left unfinished.

Trevor swore he could hear her sniffling on the other end of the phone. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m just so proud of you. You really did make it, Trev. You did.”

Oh.

He suddenly felt a little choked up himself as he listened to his mom cry softly. “Stop crying or you’ll make me cry, and I have to go on soon.”

“I can’t help it,” she said. “Knowing you went out there and made your dreams come true. Not everyone gets to say they did that. It’s pretty incredible.”

Well, he couldn’t argue with that. So he thanked her, smiling to himself in a closet that smelled like bleach. His life was crazy in the best way. And he’d never been so proud to make his mom cry.

“I won’t keep you too long,” she said. “I just wanted to tell you I saw the interview and say how proud I am.”

“Wait!” He hesitated, words bubbling up in his chest. Saying this over the phone wasn’t ideal, but who knew how long it’d be until he could see his mom in person. He couldn’t wait any longer. “I need to tell you something. No, I want to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He wasn’t afraid, but his feelings for Skyler were so big they were hard to explain. He had to try though. “So… it turns out I’m bisexual.”

His mom let out a small chuckle. And okay, not the reaction he expected. But then—“Oh sweetie, you think I didn’t know that?”

What?

“But how could you? I’ve never been with a guy before!”

“That doesn’t matter,” she said. “I’m your mom. I know your heart. And let’s just say, whenever we used to watch Gilmore Girls together, you stared at Jess Mariano harder than I did.”

“I—” Trevor couldn’t deny that. Apparently, he’d always had a thing for dark, wild hair. He slowly sunk down until his ass hit the floor. It was probably filthy, but he wasn’t dressed for the show yet. “Well, okay,” he admitted. “But I also stared at Lorelai.”

She laughed. “I know. And even though I had strong suspicions about your sexuality, I wasn’t sure you truly knew.”

“I did. Sort of. Like I knew I found guys attractive sometimes. But it was never a strong enough feeling that I wanted to act on it… until now.”

“Makes sense,” his mom said. “And more recently, I’ve been sort of expecting this.”

“Why?”

“Because anyone who actually knows you and Skyler can clearly see you two are so much more than friends.”

His stomach fluttered. “You knew? Really?” Am I that transparent?

She’d only seen them together in person a few times when she’d dropped by the house to bring large Tupperware containers of food for the whole band. And that was before he and Skyler had officially gotten together. He guessed he wasn’t as subtle in front of cameras as he tried to be. As he was supposed to be.

“Like I said. I’m your mother and I know your heart. But boy, you never used to wear it on your sleeve until you met Skyler.”

That was probably true. And it should be scary, but it wasn’t. Because, well. “I love him.”

“And I’m assuming he loves you?” his mom asked.

“Yeah. He loves me. He really does.”

“Then that’s something special. Make sure you protect it.”

He wasn’t sure what she meant, but before he could ask, the door to the janitor’s closet flew open, flooding the small space with the harsh florescent light of the hallway.

Noah looked surprised to find Trevor sitting there on the floor. “Sorry. Lana’s ready for you, and Maggie’s pissed you weren’t around. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“Sorry, I’m coming,” Trevor told him. Then to his mom, he said, “Hey, I’ve got to go. But thanks. For everything.”

“Have a great show,” she said. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Noah had already started to head back without him when Trevor stepped out of the closet. And well. It was a bit too on the nose, wasn’t it?

As he tried to remain still in the styling chair with Lana poking at him, he kept smiling, replaying the conversation with his mom. She was proud of him for what he’d accomplished so far with the band. And he was proud too. But it wasn’t all he wanted to accomplish in his life.

Trevor wanted to make sure that he loved Skyler in a way he was proud of, the way Skyler deserved to be loved. He wanted to do it well enough so that when he looked back someday when he was old, he”d be able to say that loving Skyler was truly his greatest accomplishment.