Page 42 of Heartbreak Honey

Before

It was going to be a long bus ride to the band’s next tour stop, and Skyler currently wasn’t speaking to Trevor. Their fight had been over something trivial, which was becoming a pattern with them. Lately they were quick to snipe at each other. Even the other guys had started to notice, which Skyler hated.

He’d accused Trevor of using the last of his shampoo and not replacing it. And okay, that was dumb, because Trevor didn’t even like to use his fruity shampoo. He’d once said he loved smelling Skyler’s hair but didn’t need his own hair to smell like apples or peaches. So logically, Skyler knew it was his own fault he’d let his shampoo run out and hadn’t thought to grab more. Hell, he didn’t even need to grab it himself—he could simply ask a PA to run to the drugstore for him at any of their stops. But whatever.

Maybe he just wanted Trevor’s attention.

After some bickering, Trevor had gotten mad and told him to stop being a baby and learn to be responsible for his own shit. Which, fair. But it stung because Trevor had always called him baby like it was something precious. This was the first time he’d made it sound like an insult.

Trevor had already apologized, and it wasn’t that Skyler hadn’t forgiven him, since Skyler was the one who’d started the nonsense in the first place. But he couldn’t simply snap back into their lovey dovey roles. Not yet. So he was slumped in a seat up front by himself while everyone else—including Sierra, who was with them for the next few cities—hung out in the bus’s lounge area.

Because he was sick of this. He was sick of the careless jabs Trevor took at him when he got frustrated. And he was possibly even more sick of himself for provoking pointless arguments. He didn’t want to be this person.

“Hey.”

He looked up from his phone to see Jermaine hovering over him. “Hey.”

“We’re all playing cards. Come play with us.”

Skyler wasn’t in the mood to play games right now, but Jermaine’s face was so perceptive. He understood Skyler wanted to be alone but hated being alone at the same time. He probably wouldn’t take no for an answer, so Skyler went with him. It was easier than arguing.

At least everyone hanging out as a group meant Trevor wasn’t hanging out with Sierra one-on-one. Which he did sometimes by his own choice if Skyler was busy with something. During all the time they were forced to spend together, they’d managed to become friends. And Skyler shouldn’t feel threatened by that, but he did.

In the lounge, the rest of the guys and Sierra sat around the table. Noah was shuffling. Trevor and Sierra weren’t even sitting near each other, but her presence still bothered Skyler. Wasn’t she supposed to be in college? How was she always following them around the country?

Jermaine rifled through a cabinet in the makeshift kitchen area and grabbed a stick of beef jerky before he took a seat. Stalling before he had to sit down too, Skyler went over and got a bag of SunChips.

They’d left him a spot next to Trevor. Trevor offered him a hopeful smile as he sat, and he managed to smile back. They were all right. They weren’t great, but they were all right. Trevor confirmed this by reaching over and rubbing his thumb against the side of Skyler’s leg.

Halfway through the game, he was in a slightly better mood. He was being nice to Sierra, and Trevor showed his appreciation by caressing the top of Skyler’s thigh.

As Jermaine shuffled the cards for the next hand, Oli tried to steal the jerky he’d set on the table, but Jermaine quickly snatched it back. “Get your own.”

Oli turned his sights on Skyler’s snack. “Can I have some chips?”

He passed over the bag willingly.

“Thanks.” Oli turned to Jermaine and pulled a face. “See? Sky knows how to share.”

Noah snorted. “Just don’t use his shampoo.”

Skyler’s eyes flew to Noah, who looked slightly remorseful, but it was too late. Embarrassment hit him like a truck, flaming his cheeks. He hadn’t known anyone else had heard the fight. Heard him acting like a child and Trevor calling him on it.

He couldn’t sit here anymore, playing a dumb game with a bunch of people who surely found him insufferable.

Ducking his head, he pushed his chair from the table and turned to leave. There was a loud whack followed by Noah crying out in pain, but it didn’t stop Skyler from storming off toward the back of the bus.

He threw himself onto Trevor’s bunk, buried his face in his pillow, and let out a long, muffled scream. Then he got up and dug through his duffle until he found the bottle of cherry vodka he’d hidden in there. He resettled back into the bunk with it, back propped against the wall, and took a couple small swigs, enjoying the slight burn in his throat that accompanied the artificial fruity taste.

It didn’t take long for Trevor to come find him. He nudged Skyler over to make room so he could get in beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Without a word, he took the bottle from Skyler’s hand, replaced the cap, and set it on the floor.

Skyler relaxed into his hold as Trevor swiped his thumb gently over his cheek and kissed his temple. Trevor still didn’t try to talk, which he appreciated, because he wasn’t quite done sulking.

He thought about the first night they ever spent on a tour bus. When they’d shared one of these ridiculously tiny beds because he couldn’t sleep without Trevor. Couldn’t bear to be apart from him for six hours, even if he was unconscious.

They weren’t like that anymore. And maybe that was okay—maybe it only meant their relationship had matured out of the clingy obsession phase. But sometimes he wished he could go back to feeling that way, because it was easier than whatever this was between them now. Lately, their relationship felt more like a tug of war.

If they were going to make it work, one of them would need to start easing up on the rope. And who would it be?

Skyler couldn’t take the closeting anymore, and he knew Trevor couldn’t take his mood swings. Or his drinking. He’d been drinking more and more lately as a way to temporarily forget about everything that sucked. And whenever he got too drunk, Trevor wound up taking care of him. Like he’d promised to do way back on the band’s first tour. Only Trevor probably hadn’t meant for it to be like this.

And shit. It wasn’t Trevor’s job to take care of him. Skyler didn’t want to be a job to Trevor. He wanted to be his partner.

But he didn’t know how to fix things in a way they’d both be happy with.

One thing he knew for sure though. One thing made him want to keep trying.

He leaned closer and nudged his nose into Trevor’s jaw. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Trevor replied, tightening his arm around him. “Always.”