Page 25 of Heartbreak Honey

Before

Skyler was so excited to be back on tour, playing even bigger venues than the first one and singing new songs—songs he’d helped write, and songs Trevor had written for him. The part he didn’t like was never having enough alone time with his boyfriend. Shit, for the last two weeks he hadn’t even had much alone time with his own hand, and he was horny. As. Fuck.

So he couldn’t be blamed for dragging Trevor back to their dressing room while they were supposed to be somewhere else in this venue closer to the stage, waiting for their cues.

Trevor sucked in a breath as Skyler palmed his ass roughly, his other hand rucking up the bottom of Trevor’s shirt. “Hey, we’re on in fifteen minutes. We don’t have time.”

Skyler raised an eyebrow. “Is that a challenge?”

Trevor chuckled, making a weak attempt at pushing him away. “No, it’s a fact. Come on, stop.”

“Ugh, I can’t,” he whined. “I want you.”

He wanted Trevor’s strong hands all over him, holding, groping, probing, anything.

“I want you too,” Trevor said. “Always. But we have thirty-thousand fans out there waiting to watch us perform.”

“You want to invite ‘em back here?” he joked, as he reached for the fly of Trevor’s jeans. “We can let them watch you perform.”

Trevor groaned. “You’re the worst.”

“Do you really want me to stop?”

“I—” Trevor’s eyes widened when Skyler slipped a hand down the front of his boxers and wrapped it around him. “You’re not playing fair.”

He shrugged, unconcerned with fair at the moment, and frankly, finding it hard to think of anything but getting them both naked and getting Trevor inside him.

“We’re on in fifteen minutes,” Trevor reminded him again, but he was no longer putting up any semblance of a fight. Nails dug into Skyler’s biceps as Trevor thrust into his hand.

“We’ve got time. And even if we miss our entrance, what are they going to do? Boys will be boys, right?”

Trevor raised a skeptical eyebrow, but Skyler knew he’d won when Trevor started frantically trying to undo Skyler’s jeans. They were tight as hell, so he struggled a minute with getting them down past Skyler’s thighs. Before Skyler could gloat over his victory, he found himself swiftly flipped around and bent over the back of the couch.

Trevor bit down on his shoulder, and Skyler hissed in pain but loved every second of it. Then Trevor kissed over the spot and said, “Boys will be fucking boys.”

When Skyler heard voices in the hotel hallway right outside his door, he hurried to wipe his eyes, hoping to hide the fact that he’d been crying. Being on tour meant less privacy, less time for a breakdown. He rolled onto his side on the couch and tucked his phone underneath his hip right as the door opened.

Trevor strolled in, sweaty in a way that Skyler might appreciate at any other time. He took one look at Skyler and ran over to him. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Skyler shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

He felt foolish, really. Trevor had been hanging out with Oli and Noah in the parking lot, kicking a soccer ball around, and Skyler had stayed inside because it was hot out and his clumsy ass had no business trying to be sporty. Then he’d gotten bored and done something he knew he should never do.

Trevor sunk to his knees in front of the couch and gently tucked some of Skyler’s hair behind his ear. “It’s not nothing if you’re upset. Tell me please.”

Sighing, he sat up and pulled his knees to his chest. Trevor got up to sit beside him in the space he’d made. “I Googled myself. And read the comments.”

“Oh no.”

Yeah.

The band had learned by now that a lot of the articles written about them were garbage, but what was worse were the comments. None of them needed to hear what anonymous strangers said about them online. But Skyler had made a mistake, and once he’d started looking, he couldn’t stop.

“People said I must be gay because I wear skinny jeans and pink shirts. Plus my hair’s getting longer, and they were talking about the way I am onstage, how I dance and act silly, and I don’t know.” He looked down, the embarrassment creeping in. “Do you think I need to tone it down a little?”

“Fuck that,” Trevor said, shaking his head. “Fuck them. No.”

“But—”

“No,” Trevor repeated more firmly. He squeezed Skyler’s knee, then scooted in closer so he could take his chin in his hand, forcing Skyler to look at him. “You keep expressing yourself however you want, and do your cute little dance moves, and keep grinding on Jermaine’s leg even though it drives me crazy. Don’t you dare let anyone make you feel like you should be less than who you are. Because who you are is fucking perfect.”

When Trevor released his chin and kissed his forehead, Skyler melted. How was it that Trevor always knew the exact right things to say?

Trevor still looked upset on his behalf. “That’s all homophobic, toxic masculinity bullshit, and you shouldn’t waste your energy worrying about it.”

It was hard to shake all the words he’d read about himself from his brain, but amazingly, Skyler did feel a lot better. Because Trevor was right. And Trevor thought he was perfect the way he was.

As Trevor wrapped an arm around him and played with his hair, Skyler remembered the other stuff he’d read. Good stuff. Before the nonsense that had made him cry.

He’d seen a lot about him and Trevor. From the fans who believed they were together and supported it—the “shippers.” It was nice to think that all those people out there cared so much about the two of them being together.

“You want to see something cool?” he asked, reaching for his phone. He pulled up the social media thread he’d found about one of their recent concerts, then handed the phone to Trevor and watched as he scrolled through.

BlueskiesbabyyyOMG did u see the way Skyler looked at Trevor all night? Major heart eyes!!!

SkylerJamesBlueI know right?! Wish someone would look at me like that! They are sooo in love, it’s so obvious

BlueskiesbabyyyOmg yes! Don’t even get me started on the tattoos! It’s like they WANT us to know

SkylerJamesBlueAnd when Trevor sings his part in “All In” he’s always staring at Skyler! It’s so sweet

BlueSkiesIsRealU know he wrote that one, right? He totally wrote it for Skyler! They’re so cute I can’t take it ugh!

Even the handles were great. Although Skyler wasn’t ready to admit to Trevor how his heart had beaten wildly at reading the name Skyler James-Blue. Too soon.

“Well,” Trevor said, and Skyler could tell he was fighting a smile. “They’re not wrong.”

“About you being so cute?” he teased.

“About me writing the song for you. About how in love we are.” Trevor leaned in for a kiss, which Skyler happily gave him.

“Fans were bound to make the connections with our tattoos eventually, huh?” Skyler mused.

They’d both quickly developed a bit of an addiction, getting tattoos whenever they were bored or had some free time in a cool city. And more and more, after the house and door, they’d been getting ones that went together. They’d tried to make it subtle at first, but considering their last ones were a bumblebee on the inside of Skyler’s wrist and a dripping wooden honey wand on the outside of Trevor’s forearm, maybe they weren’t worrying about subtly enough anymore. Whoops.

“Especially when they’re constantly ogling you,” Trevor said.

“You too, dummy.”

Trevor scoffed as if he didn’t know how hot he was or how much the fans wanted him, so Skyler took his phone back and scrolled down farther to find one particular comment that had made him bust out laughing.

TrevorisdaddyIs it weird that I want to lick the imaginary honey off Trevor’s forearm??

“What? Um. Yes,” Trevor sputtered, looking scandalized. Even though his forearm was probably one of the most innocent body parts fans wanted to lick. “And I don’t know how I feel about strangers calling me daddy.”

Skyler smirked. “What if I called you daddy? Would you like that?”

He expected Trevor to laugh, but instead his eyes flashed dark for a second and his grip around Skyler tightened.

Hmm. Interesting.

He’d file that information away for later.

“Anyway, it’s kind of nice, right?” he said. “The way they all support us?”

“It is,” Trevor agreed.

“But it does make me wonder why our management is so concerned about people finding out we’re together. It’s almost like everyone wants us to be together.”

Trevor lips turned down slightly. “It’s not that simple. I’m sure plenty of fans would be happy for us, but there will always be homophobic assholes who’ll freak out at the thought of two guys kissing.”

“But if there’s always going to be those assholes, why should we even worry about them?” It seemed stupid to cater to the limited worldview of people like that. Just like Trevor had told Skyler not to concern himself with people’s toxic masculinity bullshit.

“It’s negative attention the band doesn’t need,” Trevor reasoned. “And it’s not only about them. I know our real fans are here for our music and they like us for who we are, but I don’t think Maggie’s wrong about how a lot of them might be disappointed if they learn they’ll never have a chance with us.”

“As if they’d have a real chance with us even if we were straight? We don’t know them.”

“It’s part of the fantasy. And it’s harmless, right? If imagining that someday we might notice and start dating one of them makes the fans happy, do we want to take that away from them?”

It all sounded fairly reasonable when Trevor explained it like that. But that didn’t mean Skyler liked it. He’d rather not have to hide who he was and compromise his own happiness for the sake of other people’s. But then again, he did care about their fans. The band owed them a lot. Everything, really. Without the fans they wouldn’t be here on their second world tour.

So fine. He’d keep hiding.

But he wouldn’t stop his small rebellions. The tattoos, his pink shirts, and slyly grazing his fingers across Trevor’s shoulder as he passed by him onstage.

They could keep him in the closet, but they couldn’t change who he was inside that closet. He’d always be gay. And he’d always be in love with Trevor.