Page 49 of Heartbreak Honey

Now

Trevor might be more nervous about this wedding than the groom. The rehearsal dinner went fine, but a lot more people will be here, and he has no way of knowing how many of them will be watching he and Skyler’s every move, ready to sell a story to the tabloids.

Oli has already reassured him multiple times that guests aren’t allowed phones or cameras. The only pictures taken will be by the hired photographers, and every photo will be vetted by Oli before being posted anywhere or sent out to guests. So that’s helpful. But Trevor’s learned long ago that you can never be too careful. People tend to disregard the concept of privacy when it comes to celebrities. Even washed-up ones like himself.

He wants to be able to relax and enjoy this day. For his own sake, and for Oli’s. But also for Skyler. Skyler who was so excited this morning that he was already dressed in his suit while Trevor was still eating cereal in his boxers. And Skyler won’t fully enjoy himself if he thinks Trevor’s stressing.

So he put on a smile and put on his baby blue suit (because Skyler refused to let him wear “boring blah black”), and they arrived early like they were supposed to, and so far, everything’s been fine.

He was a bit surprised when he learned Oli had made Noah his best man, but that probably wasn’t fair. Just because Noah hadn’t spoken to Trevor or Skyler in the last five years didn’t mean he had any reason to hold a grudge against Oli. It makes sense they’ve remained close.

Trevor wishes Noah was here right now, though, in the designated dressing room for the groom and groomsmen, fulfilling his best man duties. But Noah wandered off five minutes ago, right before Oli decided to have a meltdown.

Oli’s approached this wedding the same way he approaches his whole life, with an entirely casual glee. Yet now, when it’s almost time for him to go out and take his place at the altar, he’s pacing back and forth enough to wear a hole in the carpet.

“No, nope, I can’t do it, this is crazy,” he says, knocking a cufflink out as he wrings his hands.

Skyler ducks down to find it while Trevor grabs Oli to get him to stop moving, but it only makes him bounce anxiously in place instead. Guess Trevor’s not more nervous than the groom after all.

As Skyler resecures the cufflink on his sleeve, Oli says, “What the hell do I know about being a husband? I’m just a kid who got lucky and famous. And oh no, what if she only wants me for my money?”

“Okay, stop,” Trevor commands. “First of all, she doesn’t want you for your money. She’s famous too and she has her own money.” Probably not nearly as much as Oli has, but still. “And more importantly, you do know how to be a husband. Because being a husband is the same thing as being a boyfriend, and you were obviously good enough at that for her agree to marry you.

“You already know how to love her. How to take care of her and make her happy and put her needs before your own. And you know how to let her do the same for you. That’s all a marriage is. It’s love. When you love someone, commitment isn’t scary. It feels like security.”

He’s trying to say anything he can think of that’s vaguely inspirational, and honestly, he kind of wants to cringe at how much he sounds like a Hallmark card. But then he makes the mistake of glancing at Skyler, whose bright green eyes are staring at him so intensely that suddenly Trevor’s heart is pounding. Because oh.

The stuff he’s saying about love is totally true. He knows because he’s been in love, been in the kind of relationship he described.

He knows because he’s in love now.

It’s not like he wasn’t already aware he loves Skyler, but standing here all dressed up in their suits, the lawn outside decorated with purple flowers and silver tulle and an elegant white wedding arch, it’s like all his feelings are magnified. Sometimes he loves Skyler so much it’s hard to look at him and function normally on a regular day, so he’s not sure how he’s going to survive today.

At least whatever he said worked on Oli, who spins out of Trevor’s grasp, claps his hands together, and declares, “All right, it’s time for me to get married up in this bitch!”

The moment between Trevor and Skyler is effectively broken.

Skyler snorts, then he claps Oli on the back and tells him, “You’re going to be a great husband and a great father.”

Oli immediately pales. “Oh holy hell, I’m going to be father! Like soon. I don’t know anything about kids! What the hell do I know about being a—”

“Nope,” Trevor hurries to cut him off, shooting an accusing look at Skyler. “We’re not doing this again. You know plenty about kids, because, let’s face it, you’re basically a giant kid yourself.”

Skyler laughs, and thankfully, Oli does too.

“Remember,” Trevor adds, “all you have to do is love them both, and you’re good.”

“You’re right,” Oli says. “Of course. I’m going to be the best damn father and husband ever. Let’s do this!”

While Oli takes one last look at himself in the mirror, Trevor and Skyler share a relieved glance behind his back.

Trevor can’t believe that Oli—their Baby Spice—is the first of them to get married. The one who never passes up the chance to pull a prank and still laughs after he farts too loudly.

Except no. Oli’s not the first. He forgot for a minute there that he’s been married himself.

Well. Maybe that shouldn’t count.

The wedding planner knocks on the door to tell them it’s time. She’s already wrangled Noah and Jermaine and they’re ready to take their places, so Oli eagerly skips out of the room, Trevor and Skyler following behind.

While they’re still in private, Skyler leans into Trevor and whispers in his ear as they walk. “I love you a lot, you know.”

“Same.”

Trevor’s lucky there’s a wedding going on, because it gives him a cover for the ridiculously sappy look that takes over his face for the next hour.

Skyler cries when Oli and Megan give their vows. And Trevor wants to tease him, but he can’t. Because for one thing, they’re standing up here with everyone watching. But also, mostly, because he comes awfully close to tearing up himself.

Although he doesn’t think it’s the vows that get to him. He’s only half-listening, because it’s hard to concentrate on anything but Skyler, standing here at the altar with him, looking fucking gorgeous.

He thinks about that ring sitting in Skyler’s dresser drawer. Wonders what would have happened if Skyler had given it to him back then, asked him the question. It’s hard to say now, after the way everything ended, but he can’t imagine his response would’ve been anything other than fuck yes.

Would it have mattered though? Would it have prevented them from falling apart, or would it have only made everything more complicated when it did?

He doesn’t have much time to dwell on these thoughts, because the officiant is telling Oli to kiss Megan, and then it’s time for the couple to walk back down the aisle, followed by the wedding party.

Trevor takes a bridesmaid’s hand to escort her, but he can’t help but peek back at Skyler before they start walking. Skyler brings two fingers up to rub his neck, right below the corner of his jaw. It instantly unearths memories from their past, and Trevor mimics the motion back at him. I love you.

Skyler flashes him a full-dimpled smile. And you know what? Trevor’s so glad they’re here.

During the reception, Trevor loses track of Skyler. Which is fine, because they can’t act like a couple right now, and Skyler’s a damn social butterfly. He’s been running around charming the pants off people and telling embarrassing Oli stories to anyone who’ll listen. Trevor’s glad he’s having fun.

He’s sort of surprised himself by having fun too. It’s not like he’s a hermit, but it’s been quite a while since he’s attended a large group function like this, with the exception of Jermaine’s party.

He’s busy eating his second piece of wedding cake and flipping through an album of Oli and Megan’s childhood photos on a display table, when Noah steps up beside him. Trevor was relieved that things went okay last night at the dinner, but he and Noah still haven’t really talked. And he’s not sure anymore if that’s on Noah or him. But Noah doesn’t look like he approached him to start a very public fight, so.

“Hey,” Trevor says casually.

“Hey.” Noah glances at the photo album and chuckles. “We didn’t know him as a kid, but none of these pictures are surprising, are they?”

“Nope.”

Noah looks at him now, both hands sliding into his pockets, and rocks back onto his heels. Already run out of small talk.

“It’s pretty cool we’re all here for this,” Trevor tries.

“Yeah, it is,” Noah agrees.

In the semi-uncomfortable silence that follows, Trevor decides to be mature about this situation, the way Skyler was last night, and own up to his crap. “I, uh.” He scratches his hand through his hair. “I don’t think I ever said I’m sorry for hitting you.”

Noah shrugs. “Don’t think I gave you a chance.”

“Well I am. Sorry. Even though everything happened so fast, and I was kind of falling apart and not thinking straight, it’s no excuse. That was never the person I wanted to be, and it’s not who I am now.”

“Look,” Noah says, “I think we all said or did things we aren’t entirely proud of in those days. Let’s move on, okay?”

He suspects Noah won’t ever be able to completely forgive him or Skyler for the way things went down, but if he’s offering the chance not to dwell on the past, Trevor will take it. It’s the same as what Trevor asked of Skyler.

He’s done enough dwelling over the last five years. Now he’s ready to live in this moment and the next one. To take each day with Skyler as a win, and not take for granted this wonderful life they’ve rebuilt together.

As he and Noah wander back to their shared table, Noah says, “So Oli told me about your idea for starting your own record label.”

“Oh. Yeah. I’m still working out the details.”

“Well, I was thinking…” Sitting down and clasping his hands together on top of the table, Noah looks distinctly unsure of himself. “Is there any possibility of us working together?”

What the—

“You want me to sign you?”

Noah shakes his head. “No, no. I’m getting a bit burnt out with performing, if I’m being honest. I could use a break.”

“What are you saying?” Trevor asks, having no clue where this is going.

“I want to help run the label with you. You don’t have to make me a partner or anything, but yeah.”

“Oh.”

Oh.

He angles his chair to get a better look at Noah, a man he knew so well five years ago who has become a mystery to him since then. Out of all the things Noah might have said to him today, this is not something Trevor ever imagined.

“You’d seriously want to do this with me?” he asks.

Noah smiles. The first real smile he’s given Trevor in five years. “Yeah, I would. I know you’ll be awesome at it, and it’s something I could see myself really enjoying too. And we used to work pretty damn well together, didn’t we?”

Trevor smiles too at the sudden onslaught of memories. “I guess we did.”

When something doesn’t end the way you wanted it to, it’s easy to focus on all the bad parts and forget the good. But of course there were good parts. Otherwise, the ending wouldn’t have hurt as much.

And when things were good, yeah, he and Noah worked great together at keeping the band focused, and figuring out what would best benefit them and how to go about making those things happen. They wrote their fair share of music together too.

“I’ll think about it,” Trevor tells him.

Thankfully, it’s enough for Noah right now. He gives Trevor a tap on the forearm, then excuses himself to find a restroom.

Trevor scans the ballroom until he spots Skyler, who’s now on the dance floor shaking his hips not quite on rhythm to the song that’s playing. Trevor grins, unwilling to look away. For someone who’s made such a successful career out of performing, Skyler’s still a terribly awkward dancer when it’s unchoreographed. But the rest of the world must find him as hopelessly endearing as Trevor does, because they pay obscene amounts of money for the privilege of watching him do his thing.

Trevor only tears his gaze away when Noah returns, this time with Jermaine as well. They sit down and the three of them talk about their families. Well, Noah and Jermaine talk. Trevor listens. They know enough, though, not to ask him any family-related questions. And then before he can get too melancholy, Jermaine steers the conversation to Skyler’s new album and how much of a hit it’s going to be.

Trevor agrees, instinctually looking for Skyler again. Now he’s dancing with Megan’s grandmother to a mid-tempo song, because of course he is, and when he spins the two of them around, his eyes magically lock on Trevor’s right away. They watch each other for the remainder of the song.

When a slower song begins, Skyler’s elderly partner kisses him on the cheek and makes her way off the floor, leaving Skyler standing alone, swaying in place. He’s still looking at Trevor.

Jermaine elbows Trevor in the side. “You know he wants you to dance with him.”

“I can’t.”

Noah frowns. “Why not?”

“You know why not.” Because Trevor doesn’t get to have a normal relationship like other people do. Because when he was nineteen years old, he traded normalcy for fame, and no matter how much he’s tried, he can’t take it back.

“I know why you think you can’t,” Noah says, “but I think you’re wrong about it.”

With that, Noah gets up and strolls confidently onto the dance floor, leaving Trevor and Jermaine behind. He takes Skyler’s hand, says something to him that Trevor can’t hear, and starts to lead him in a dance. It’s very high school prom, with Noah’s hands on Skyler’s waist and Skyler’s hands on his shoulders, a foot of space between them. But still, Trevor can’t take it.

Didn’t he and Noah just have their big heart-to-heart? He thought they were cool with each other. Why is Noah trying to hurt him now?

He breathes deeply, barely stopping himself from marching over there and pulling Noah away from Skyler. “What the hell does he think he’s doing?” he hisses at Jermaine.

“Pretty sure he’s trying to help you, dude.”

“What?” How the heck is Noah throwing it in his face that he’s allowed to dance with Trevor’s boyfriend supposed to be considered helping him?

“Look.”

Trevor is looking. He can’t not look even though it’s killing him.

But then he realizes a few of the guests’ heads have turned to watch the dancing pair. And they don’t look shocked or scandalized. They look charmed, like they’re watching something silly and sweet.

Right. Because there were never any rumors of the two of them secretly fucking each other.

Oli notices what’s going on, and with a shit-eating grin, he abandons his new bride and shimmies his way over to Noah and Skyler. He stands behind Skyler and grabs him by the hips, hands right below Noah’s on Skyler’s waist.

Trevor’s still a little irritated by all this, but he’s starting to get it. And yeah. Maybe Noah is helping him. He’s making the dancing not a big deal. Turning it into a quirky Boys Will Be Boys thing. Old friends messing around like they used to.

“Well?” Jermaine says.

When Trevor turns to him, Jermaine raises an eyebrow, and fine. Sure. He can do this.

At his timid nod, Jermaine grabs his hand and drags him over to their friends. Luckily, the song changes to a faster one, or Trevor didn’t know how this was going to work with all five of them. They form a tight circle and start dancing together.

But the music cuts off mid-song, and Oli points to Megan, who’s over by the DJ looking totally pleased. Then an all-too familiar melody starts to play. Trevor glances around at the other guys, and they all laugh.

That’s how they end up dancing to one of their oldest hits, even doing the choreography that was cheesy ten years ago and looks ridiculous now. The other people on the dance floor have moved to the perimeter to watch. Soon the five of them are singing loudly, and everyone else is laughing and clapping and cheering them on.

And now Trevor truly remembers what it felt like. Not just to perform. But to do something he really fucking loves with four other people he loves.

To be a part of something great.

When the song ends, they break their formation, and the other guests start to filter back onto the floor. As if communicating telepathically, Oli, Jermaine, and Noah shuffle a few steps away, leaving Trevor and Skyler by themselves.

Skyler looks at him now, eyes nervous but hopeful. And Trevor is an idiot for thinking he shouldn’t do this. He takes a couple steps in and resumes dancing. Skyler grins, going back to his awful hip shaking again. He falters a moment, surprised, when Trevor reaches out to tug him closer, but then he grins even harder. Trevor’s fingers curl tightly into Skyler’s button-up shirt before he lets him go, and he finds himself begrudging the fact that Skyler chose today to keep all his buttons respectfully fastened. They don’t take their eyes off each other as they dance.

Trevor loses track of time, loses track of everything but the incredible man in front of him. Even when another slow song comes on, he doesn’t think. He just does what feels right.

And nothing could be more right than settling one hand around Skyler’s waist and sliding the other up his back. Nothing could be more right than the way Skyler doesn’t hesitate to wind his arms around Trevor’s neck, one hand scratching over the hair at his nape.

“I’m sorry if this day couldn’t be everything you wanted it to be,” Trevor says.

Skyler smiles at him. “Are you kidding? I’m holding the sun. What more could I want?”

As they hold each other, for the first time in a long time, Trevor actually feels like the sun. Feels like he must be positively radiating happiness and warmth and life. He has the overwhelming urge to kiss Skyler right now, but he settles for pulling him in even closer, reveling in the way Skyler ducks his head down to rest it on his shoulder.

They may be going too far. May be too obvious to anyone paying enough attention, even with Noah’s diversion. But Trevor’s nowhere near as scared of that as he would have been a year ago.

Let them watch.

Let people think what they want.

Today he’s dancing with his man and nothing’s going to stop him.