Page 36 of Heartbreak Honey

Before

Trevor hated staying in his and Skyler’s place without Skyler. It felt weirdly empty without his dark curls bouncing around. They only had a five-day break, but even five days in the middle of touring was a mini miracle, so he and Skyler had planned to visit Skyler’s family. Then at the last minute, Maggie had informed Trevor he wasn’t allowed to go. Management didn’t want fans catching on to them being there together.

They’d managed it before with no issues. (They’d learned their lesson after that first time with Andrea, and now just didn’t leave the house when they were there.) But Maggie didn’t care.

Skyler had been willing to stay in L.A. with Trevor, but Trevor wasn’t about to let him miss out on seeing his family. And anyway, Maggie had arranged for Trevor to meet Sierra Mackenzie, his new “girlfriend,” during the break. They were scheduled for coffee and a shopping trip, plus Maggie wanted him to get in at least one more sighting with her.

When Skyler had found out about Sierra, he’d been understandably upset, so Trevor figured it’d be better if he wasn’t around for this. He hoped Skyler would enjoy his family time and not think too much about it.

If only Trevor didn’t have to think about it.

He’d used his free time yesterday to visit him mom in the new house he’d surprised her with. She’d insisted it was too much at first, but now seeing her there, amongst her new furniture and her massive record collection that she finally had room to display, he was glad he’d convinced her to take it. He had so much money now and he couldn’t imagine a better way to spend it.

His sour mood had put a slight damper on the visit, though. He couldn’t help but complain about the Sierra thing and ask his mom’s advice. He even finally told her about how Skyler wanted them to come out publicly. And she told him she would support him with whatever he chose, but that if it wasn’t what he wanted to do, then he and Skyler would have to find a compromise.

She said, “Skyler loves you and he knows you love him. You two will make it work.”

Essentially the same thing Skyler’s mom had said to him once before. And it had felt good to hear it again, but the doubt was still creeping in anyway. He wondered how much longer every problem could be solved by them simply loving each other. What if they reached a point where that wasn’t enough?

He wished he and Skyler were spending this break together. Some time alone without all the band chaos would have been good for them.

Instead, here Trevor was, walking into Poison, his favorite coffee shop in downtown L.A., and feeling miserable about it. He scanned the crowded shop, realizing he didn’t know what Sierra looked like. He was pretty sure Maggie had sent him a picture, but he hadn’t bothered to look at it. It didn’t matter what he thought of her—she was his girlfriend regardless.

A girl stood up from her seat and waved at him. Because duh. She knew what he looked like. He made his way over and greeted her with a smile and a hug as if he knew her. Once they sat down, he took a better look at her. She was pretty, he could admit that, with brown eyes, and straight, light brown hair that hung halfway down her back. And she was dressed casually, a gray cardigan over a tight black shirt, and jeans with sandals.

But she wasn’t Skyler.

Spying the array of books and notebooks spread out on the table, he remembered being told Sierra was in college. She already had a coffee in front of her too.

“I would’ve gotten your drink for you,” he said grudgingly.

She shrugged and took a small sip. “It’s fine. I got here early and figured I could use the caffeine to help me get through my Stats assignment.”

“Are you a math major?”

“Oh god, no,” she said with a grimace. “Hospitality management. I want to be an event planner. Weddings, corporate functions, all of it. The only thing that sucks is you do need some math skills, which is not my strong suit.”

“Got it,” he said. He told her he was going to grab something for himself and went to stand in the short line. As he waited, he reminded himself to be nice to her. If she hadn’t agreed to do this, some other girl would have.

And she seemed pleasant enough. Which was good, because if she was awful, it would make everything ten times worse. But an irrational voice in the back of his head told him he shouldn’t like her, that it would be disloyal to Skyler.

When he sat back down with her, he tried his best to make small talk, hoping it looked a lot more natural than it felt. He’d already caught a girl in the corner of the shop stealing glances at them, and he needed to sell this or he’d be in even more trouble.

Eventually, though, Sierra broke an uncomfortable silence by asking, “Do you mind if I study for a while?” And when he raised an eyebrow, she added, “Is that weird? Sorry, but I need to get this done.”

It was a little weird, probably, but then again, this whole thing was weird, so he didn’t care. “Go for it,” he told her. “I’ll keep myself entertained.”

She gave him a small, grateful smile and then paid him no more attention. Trevor took out his phone to check his Twitter mentions, and replied to a few fans. Then he started texting with Skyler, but he made sure to reach out and touch Sierra’s free hand occasionally so that it didn’t look like they were completely indifferent to each other. Each time, she looked up and smiled knowingly, not moving her hand away until she needed it.

And honestly, this wasn’t too bad. If dating Sierra required such little effort from him, he could make it work.

Skyler was going to murder him. Murder him and dump his body in the river. Trevor was pretty sure he’d seen a river on the way to the hotel.

He’d fulfilled his fake boyfriend duties over break by going on two additional outings with Sierra after the coffee shop. Now all he wanted to do was reunite with Skyler at the next stop of their tour. But Skyler was going to murder him.

A rapid knocking on the hotel door simultaneously cut through and amped up his stress. He sent a worried glance over his shoulder, then braced himself before going to let his boyfriend in.

Skyler didn’t even let him pull the door fully open before he flung himself into Trevor’s arms. “Hi! Holy shit, I missed you, let’s never do that again, okay?”

“Okay,” Trevor agreed, holding him tightly and rubbing a hand down his back.

Skyler walked him backward, not letting go, until they were standing in the main area of the suite. Trevor could tell the exact moment he saw who was sitting on the bed, because he sucked in a quick breath and his arms dropped away from Trevor’s waist, leaving Trevor feeling instantly cold even though the temperature in the room was perfect.

“What the hell?” Skyler’s head whipped back and forth between Trevor and Sierra a couple times before he fixed his narrowed eyes on Trevor. “What is this? Why—”

“I should have told you,” Trevor said, holding up his hands in a placating gesture as he cut him off. “But I didn’t find out until the last minute that she was flying out here with me.”

“And she’s staying? In our room?”

“I’m so sorry. I know this is nuts, but I made sure they got us adjoining rooms, so we’ll sleep in yours, okay? It’s going to be fine, baby, I promise.”

Skyler stepped away from him. “Don’t call me that. Not in front of your girlfriend.”

Trevor sighed. He knew this would go over badly. “Please don’t be upset. You know this wasn’t my idea, and it’s not what I want. But we’ll figure out how to make it work, okay? I won’t let it get between us. Sierra’s only here because she was told to be, and it’s awkward for her too. So can you try to calm down and meet her, and then we’ll go into the other room and talk more? Please?”

He watched as Skyler’s anger slowly deflated. And now he just looked hurt, which was worse. Trevor would rather Skyler be angry than see his face like this, but he didn’t want him yelling in front of Sierra.

“Come on,” he urged. Taking Skyler’s hand, he gently tugged him over to the bed. Where Sierra had clearly heard everything, though she was doing her best, nose buried in a textbook, to pretend she hadn’t.

Skyler’s shoulders slumped as he offered her an unenthusiastic, but at least not hostile, “Hey.”

“Hi, I’m Sierra,” she said.

Skyler nodded. “I’m Skyler. Trevor’s boyfriend.”

Trevor rolled his eyes. Very subtle.

“I—I know that. Yeah. Nice to meet you.” Sierra looked mildly uncomfortable.

Trevor wanted to remind Skyler that none of this was her fault, but he’d wait to do it in private.

Skyler didn’t even bother to lie and tell her it was nice to meet her too. Instead, he said, “I’m sure you’ll be fine here alone, right? We’ll be in our room. Feel free to order room service or whatever you want, it’s on us.”

Sierra’s eyes widened at his vaguely insulting tone, and okay, Trevor was officially annoyed. He understood Skyler was upset, but that didn’t make it all right for him to be a jerk to her. This wasn’t like him.

“Why don’t you go unlock the room,” he said, ushering Skyler back toward the main door, “and you can let me in through here so no one sees us going in together.”

Skyler scoffed at that before marching out, leaving Trevor alone with Sierra.

He grabbed his stuff, aware of her watching him. When he turned, he gave her a remorseful half-smile. He wanted to explain and apologize for Skyler’s behavior, but he didn’t know how. So he just encouraged her to use the room service if she was hungry, and to call him if she needed anything else.

When a sharp knock sounded on the door that connected to Skyler’s room, Trevor hurried over to unlock it, and let Skyler pull him through. Skyler’s mouth found his neck the moment the door closed. He sucked aggressively and dug his fingers almost painfully into Trevor’s sides. Trevor gave into him at first, but then no.

“Hold on,” he said, attempting to push Skyler off him.

Skyler responded by holding on tighter and sucking harder. It wasn’t until Trevor said, “Stop,” loud and clear, that he listened. He stepped back, wiping his wet mouth, but he didn’t apologize. In fact, he looked ready for a fight again.

Trevor didn’t want to fight, but he also couldn’t let Skyler get away with his behavior toward Sierra. “We need to talk about this.”

“Okay,” Skyler said, crossing his arms. “Let’s talk about how excited I was to get here and be with you, and how I found you in bed with someone else!”

“You know I wasn’t in bed with her.”

“You might as well have been! She was in your bed looking like that!”

He hated to dignify that nonsense with a response, so he grabbed his bag from where he’d dropped it on the floor and carried it over to a table. He could sense Skyler silently seething behind him, hating being ignored. So he finally turned and calmly told him, “It’s a hotel bed. I haven’t slept in it, so it’s not exactly mine. And she was wearing leggings and a baggy college sweatshirt. I’m sure you don’t mean what you’re saying.”

A storm brewed in Skyler’s eyes as he stomped over. “Don’t tell me what I mean! I have the right to be upset when you’re letting someone else invade our space!”

When Skyler pushed both his hands against Trevor’s chest, Trevor grabbed his wrists and deftly pinned them behind his back. Skyler’s body went pliant instantly, and it was unfair of Trevor to use this tactic, because he knew how much him taking control in bed turned Skyler on. And by the way Skyler reacted to it now, he knew that was where his mind was going. But they couldn’t use sex to fix everything, which was why he’d stopped Skyler from mauling him in the first place.

“Baby,” he said, releasing Skyler’s wrists and moving a hand up to run gently over his jaw. “I understand you’re upset, and you have the right to be, but I’d appreciate it if we could sit down and talk about this without yelling.”

Skyler stared at him a minute, face set like he was going to keep arguing. But then all of a sudden, his lip started to quiver, and tears welled up in his eyes. “You’re right,” he said, roughly pushing his fists under his eyes to catch anything spilling over. “I’m being a jerk.”

Trevor wrapped him in his arms and guided him over to the bed to sit. He kissed his forehead and ran a hand through his hair, regretting every single moment that had led to this sweet boy crying like this.

“You’re not being a jerk,” he said, even though Skyler kind of had been. But it was understandable. Trevor hated how their stupid management had put them into this fucked up situation. And he hated himself for going along with it.

Eventually Skyler calmed down. They sat there in silence a bit longer, holding each other, until Trevor thought they were both ready to talk. He explained how Maggie had sprung this on him at the last minute, how she wanted Sierra to put in appearances with him during the tour. She wouldn’t be with them the whole time. They’d just fly her in occasionally to stay for a few days each time, traveling with them if need be.

But he also explained how Sierra knew that he and Skyler were together, and that she respected it and didn’t want to get in their way. How she was doing this partly as a favor to her parents who wanted to stay in her uncle’s good graces, and partly for the money to help pay for college.

He hoped Skyler could see Sierra as a person, rather than an object getting in their way, because it wasn’t in Skyler’s nature to be mean to anybody.

“I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you don’t feel uncomfortable with this,” he assured Skyler. “It’s not ideal, but I’m not sure we have any choice but to go along with it for now.”

Skyler sighed sadly and nuzzled his face into Trevor’s neck. “I should apologize to her.”

“You can do it tomorrow. I think she understands why this is hard for you.”

“I didn’t mean to take my frustrations out on either of you.” Skyler scooted himself farther up the bed until he could lie down with his head on a pillow. Then he made grabby hands for Trevor until he joined him, both of them rolling onto their sides to face each other. “How long are we going to let this go on though?”

“I don’t know,” Trevor said truthfully.

“It shouldn’t be this way. Jermaine and the other guys don’t have to pretend to date anyone.”

He brushed a stray curl behind Skyler’s ear. “No, but how long did it take before Noah was allowed to mention his girlfriend? Management’s controlling and manipulating their images too.”

Skyler bit his lip and wrapped his hand around the back of Trevor’s neck, using it to pull him closer. “Can you make me forget about all of it?” he asked. “Just for tonight. Please?”

And who was Trevor to deny him that?

Five days apart was too long.

Five days of pretending to be with someone else had made it even worse.

As he fucked Skyler, he did it with a determination to prove Skyler belonged to him. And Skyler kept moaning like he was trying to prove the same thing.

Even if Skyler planned on apologizing to Sierra later for the way he’d acted, Trevor suspected he was being as loud as possible right now with the full intention of being heard next door. He couldn’t say he minded, really.

Later, after Skyler had already fallen asleep, Trevor was reluctant to close his eyes. Almost afraid Maggie would swoop in while they were sleeping and steal Skyler away from him.

But eventually he needed to use the bathroom, so he had no choice but to disentangle himself from the long limbs Skyler had wrapped around him. He grabbed his phone on the way, because it’d gone off earlier when he’d been too occupied to answer.

He’d missed a call from his mom, and she’d left a voicemail, despite the many times he’d told her that nobody left voicemails anymore. He waited until he was in the bathroom to listen to it.

“Hey, hon. Just calling to check on you. I hate how much you’ve been struggling, but I know you’re strong, so you’ll be okay. And don’t forget you got that from me!”

He laughed quietly as he leaned against the sink.

“Try to remember you and Skyler are meant to be together, and that means nothing’s going to keep you apart. I’m your mom, I know these things, okay? So you go ahead and keep being who you are and doing what you love, and it’ll all work out the way it’s supposed to. Love you, kid.”

Smiling, Trevor set his phone down. Normally he deleted her voicemails after listening, because they usually just said something like, “Hey, miss you, call me back.” But he couldn’t delete this one.

He’d grown up quickly when the band was formed, going from living at home to living on his own, becoming financially independent, and traveling the world in the blink of an eye. But his mom still had this crazy ability to sense when he needed her. Whenever he started to lose faith in himself, when he was on the verge of giving up, she somehow managed to find the right things to say, and it was hard not to believe her.

It would all work out.

Nothing could keep him and Skyler apart.

His mom knew these things.