Page 98 of Guarded Knight

“Maybe we just have to feel our way through it…” She runs her hand down the length of my abs and rests her hand just above the elastic of my boxer briefs.

“I don’t know how to be around you without wanting everything.” My voice is raw.

She glides her finger just under my shorts, and my cock is instantly thick so near her.

“Fuck, Lara…” I swallow hard.

“I’ve never been good at not going for what feels right.” She brings her lips to my earlobe. “You just feel so damn right, Gabriel.” She wraps her leg over mine. “Do I feel right?”

“If I start thinking about what I want,” I rasp, “I’ll forget what’s good for you.” Despite the truth in my words, my body can’t resist, and I take her hand and guide it over my now stiff cock. I shouldn’t be doing this, but fuck, she destroys me.

She takes my dick in her hand, relieving some of the ache.

I am mindless around her. “I don’t want to wake up tomorrow knowing I took more than I should’ve.”

Her thumb circles lazy patterns over the head of my cock, like she’s already decided what’s hers. She coaxes. “You’ve never taken anything from me I didn’t want to give. Don’t start doubting that now.”

My chest caves under the weight of her certainty. She’s not afraid of the ruin I carry, not afraid of the cost. She just keeps holding me like I’m worth it.

Her touch is divine, and I try to remind myself of all the reasons to say no, all the reasons I shouldn’t be using her hand for pleasure… But she’s here. In my bed. In my life. And she’s not asking me for promises. She’s just asking me to let her decide for herself how this goes.

Should I control the narrative and punish us both?

Or should I take her in my arms, where I swear to God she belongs?

She kisses my cheek. “Give yourself a chance, G.”

My eyes have adjusted to the darkness, and there’s a flicker in her bright, hazel eyes. She kisses the corner of my mouth like she’s sealing a promise, then pulls back with a glint that turns her from confessor into temptress.

“If all I’m going to do is have fuck buddies for the rest of my life,” she grips my cock firmly, “I’m asking you to be one of them.”

Fuck buddies.

She throws it down like a gauntlet, knowing it’ll tear through every line of restraint I’ve drawn between us.

My voice is gritty. “You think I’d share you?”

All the reasons not to give in are stacked in my mind. But none of them matter when she looks at me like that.

She’s testing me. And for as much credit as I give myself… she wins.

She always does. I’m defenseless with her.

“You think I’d let you give this…” I grip tight between her legs. “…to anyone else?

“No, I don’t.” She wraps her small fingers around my shaft. “But that’s the point.”

I twist her over and pin her to the bed. “The point is for me to be your fuck buddy?”

“The point, G…” Her breath is a dare against my cheek. “…is to fuck.”

My heart pounds like it’s already made the choice for me.

This isn’t like last night’s heat of the moment. Last night was survival, raw and reckless. This… this is surrender. This is me knowing the cost and walking straight into the fire anyway.

But isn’t she right? What is freedom and peace without choice?

And I choose her.