Page 73 of Guarded Knight

“He doesn’t matter,” she insists, but somehow her words are still laced with defiance. “At least he shouldn’t?—”

“It’s not just him, Lara. It’s me. It’s the way…” My breath catches, ragged. “The way I can’t stand the thought of anyone else having you.”

I turn, needing to escape before I shatter in the middle of the sidewalk. Not in this town with its prying eyes and the Mendez name on everyone’s lips.

She chases me, footsteps a soft echo behind me. I hate myself for leaving her in the dust, but I can’t let her see me like this. Especially now. Especially when she knows every piece of me I’ve tried to hide.

Not to mention I’m losing my mind and I need to be on point watching dark corners for Cameron and his fucking smoke bombs. I slow my steps, knowing I can’t leave her behind me…goddamn it…

“Gabriel,” she calls.

I stop completely, allowing her to catch up, but I don’t turn. I can’t stand to see her struggle to breathe, but I still can’t let her see me unravel completely.

I walk more slowly this time, keeping us step in step but not daring to make eye contact.

We pass Pages and Perks, Penelope flipping the sign from Open to Closed, and I catch her wide eyes peeking beneath it as we hustle past. I reach the top of the metal stairs to Lara’s apartment and fumble with the keys, my hands shaking.

“Gabriel,” she says, just behind me. “No one has me.”

I slam the key into the lock, the metal rattling with force. I could’ve kicked the damn door in. I throw her bag on the chair by the door, my teeth nearly ground down to dust.

I instantly sense the place is empty. Thank God Freya is still at the coffee shop. It’s embarrassing how out of control I am. Hardly the picture of a top-end bodyguard.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I mutter.

She shuts the door behind her. “That’s not your decision alone to make,” she fires back, cracking with frustration. “You can’t act like this and then just shut me out. We said we were friends. Talk to me.”

I boom, like thunder. “I don’t want to be your friend, all right?” The words rip through me, every syllable a confession I can’t take back.

Her eyes widen with hurt.

“What do you mean?” she asks slowly.

I step forward, crowding her until her back hits the door. I brace my arms on either side of her, boxing her in. “I don’t remember the last time I just wanted to be your friend, Lara.” My voice is all gravel. “That’s the problem with all of this. Withus. I can’t be the man you need me to be but I can’t be just a friend.” Her body heat on mine consumes me and every shred of restraint I have left. “I want too much.”

I close the gap, forehead pressing to hers, our breath mingling, hot and uneven. My heart’s pounding like a fucking war drum. “I’ve always thought I could survive the wanting. But since high school, hell, maybe even before, when I see another man look at you, like you’re his for the taking, like he has any right to you… Goddamn it, Lara. I want to tear him apart.”

And I have torn men apart. More than once. She knows that. Now she knows it was more than protection.

It was a silent claim.

Her tongue darts out over her lip, leaving it wet and pink, and I can’t stop staring. I’m losing every ounce of control I’ve spent years building.

My hands snap to her hips, gripping hard. “I accepted that you would haunt me softly for the rest of my life,” I rasp. “Now that you’re here, in the flesh… I don’t know how to hold it all together.”

She runs her finger down my chest. “Then don’t,” she dares.

A single thread of restraint holds on. I told myself a thousand times that she was off-limits. That I’d keep her safe, even from me. That I’d be the brother’s best friend who didn’t cross the line. But now I’m so far past that line I can’t even see it anymore.

Her fingers clutch the fabric of my t-shirt, and she stands on her tiptoes so her lips are close to mine. “Just do it.”

That single thread isn’t enough.

It snaps.

I crush my mouth to hers, hard, desperate, messy. Heat explodes between us. I pin her against the door, wrapping my hands around her wrists, pressing them above her head. My mouth devours hers like I’ll never get another chance.

The world vanishes. She moans, a sound that rips every bit of sanity from me. She deserves better than this. She deserves better than me.