Page 121 of Guarded Knight

This is going to eat me alive.

Every so often, I catch Kevin watching me from across the room. He talks to donors, flashes that gleaming smile, and charms the photographers.

By the time we’re in the green room, waiting for the final call to take the stage, I’m coiled tight. I keep going over my notes, not because I need them, but because I need something to do with my hands.

Gabriel is attentive, just in the hallway, there, without being a presence.

A soft knock rattles the frame of the green room door.

It’s Kevin.

He strolls in like this is an Oscar-winning moment. “Lara,” he says, all silky charm.

I stand to move toward the door. Near an exit. Near where I know Gabriel stands just beyond the frame.

“Great turnout,” I say evenly.

He steps inside, gaze roaming over the quiet prep room. “You know, I had a thought. Maybe we pivot the speech. Make it more… reflective. Emotional. I gave Freya some notes. I think she should give the speech.”

Is that what he meant by personal?

For as many times as I thought Freya should be the one giving speeches, he’s never proposed it, until now. What the hell does he have up his sleeve? Is this just coincidental or does he think I’m going to out him here and now? He doesn’t want me talking… he wants to silence me.

I don’t give a shit about giving a speech, about taking credit… but this change. Why? My instinct tells me to resist and see how he reacts.

“We agreed on my speech weeks ago.”

Charm oozes from his mouth. “Right. Of course. But truly, she’s our most powerful messenger. Even you told me that long ago.”

For the first time, I catch something sharp behind his smile. A sliver of malice. It feels like he’s already written the ending, and I’m not in it.

Silence blooms like smoke.

I have to act normal.

And normal is that I’ve always advocated for Freya to be the speaker at these events.

“I’m thrilled you’ve decided to have Freya speak. She is walking proof of hope for every donor, not to mention she wants this. She’s more passionate and empathetic than either of us could ever be for this cause.”

Gabriel doesn’t step into the room, but the toe of his boot appears in the doorway.

Kevin’s eyes flick past me toward the mirrored dressing table. “We need to think about this more at Scarlet Hope,” he adds, almost absently, “the way we’ve been going about things. I’ve been thinking about just how fragile a reputation really is.”

I steady myself. Is he trying to unnerve me? Get a reaction?

“Couldn’t agree more.”

Is this a chance for me to think he’s getting to me? I rarely talk to Kevin face-to-face like this. I need to make him think his plan has worked. That I’m thrown. Off my game. That maybe I’ll even drop the ball. Just like he wants.

“On that note, Kevin, I’m sorry if I’ve been less than effective lately. I’ve been having some personal life issues, an ex-boyfriend who hasn’t taken the hint, and it’s been really distracting. I’m working hard not to let it affect my numbers. I’m all in. Just so you know.”

The lie is lead on my tongue, and I wish I could spit bullets instead.

He lifts his eyebrows, and I can’t tell if he’s surprised, curious, or intrigued. “I’m sorry to hear that. But I think I can count on you. Can’t I?”

“You can.”

“Are you sure?” No three words have ever been more loaded. “We can’t let all these people down because of some tryst gone wrong. This is important work. Life-changing work.”