Page 103 of Guarded Knight

“I can come out of the guest room,” he offers but he isn’t even convincing himself.

I put a hand on my hip and blow a strand of hair off my forehead. “Better idea?”

“I’ll crawl out the window and come through the front.”

“We’re on the second floor.”

“And?”

Right. I’m in a situationship with an ex-SEAL. “Don’t break a leg because that would be a dead giveaway.”

I haven’t even stopped to think about Xander in all this. A faint flush is visible under Gabriel’s tanned cheeks, and it tells me while I haven’t, he has. But wouldn’t Xander be happy for us? He’s wanted me settled. Right?

Something about Gabriel’s frantic movements and loss of cool tells me he doesn’t assume the same.

I head for the door, and he grabs my hand before I leave and plants a huge, reassuring kiss on my lips. “You’re not my secret.”

It undoes me, the way he says it like it’s simple. Like this thing between us could stretch into forever. But forever and me don’t go together, and I’m not ready for Xander to know about something that might still fall apart.

It’s probably better not to have my very opinionated brother in the picture just yet.

“Be careful.”

I take the stairs quickly, though I’m not too keen on facing Xander, I can’t wait to hold my nieces again.

I tell myself I’ve made peace with it. That being the fun aunt is enough. But every time they fling themselves at me, some part of me cracks open all over again, because deep down, I know I’ll never have motherhood for myself.

I turn the corner from the stairwell and jog toward them with open arms.

“Party people!”

They run toward me, and I have to bend down to take them into my embrace. They’re growing fast and the last time they jumped up on me, I nearly fell over.

“Auntie Lara!” they say in unison.

I pull back. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

Poppy says, “Last time Dad was here, we went to Café Luna, and they have really good chocolate muffins and hot chocolate with chocolate marshmallows.”

“Oh,” I say, “is it National Chocolate Day? My favorite day of the year!”

“There’s a National Chocolate Day?” Daisy twists and looks at her dad seriously. “Why don’t we ever celebrate National Chocolate Day?”

Xander steps near, and I stand to hug my brother, hoping I don’t smell like sex. If I do, he doesn’t say.

“Dais, it’s chocolate day at our house every day.” He keeps his hands on my arms and gives me a once over. “I had a meeting in San Francisco and figured it was a perfect way for me to check on you for free.”

I tilt my head. “Aw, don’t you know how to make a girl feel special?”

He imitates my movement, almost mocking but also a silent confession… he made that meeting so he could see me. To make sure I was safe. No amount of updates from Gabriel, and I’m sure he’s been giving them, would reassure Xander. He needs to see things with his own eyes to believe it.

It should make me feel smothered, the way he builds excuses just to check on me. But all I can feel is love… and guilt. He’ll never stop caring for me, and I’m a big fat liar.

Just then, the front door opens.

Gabriel walks in steady, composed, hoodie zipped halfway up, disheveled hair. His gaze lands on me first, then shifts to the girls, then finally Xander.

“Morning. You didn’t say you were coming today.” He passes Xander and heads straight for the girls.