Page 34 of Guarded Knight

She grabs a claw clip off the dining room table then vanishes into her bedroom with a casual, “Morning.”

I don’t breathe until the door clicks shut.

My body’s on fire. But it’s not just want. It’s that bone-deep ache I’ve been trying to outrun for years. That flicker of what could’ve been, burning under my skin like a curse.

And now she’s walking around half-naked in the one place I’m supposed to keep sacred. Protected. Untouched.

And all I want to do is touch her. Every inch. Run my hands beneath that towel and sink into the heat of her until I forget the world.

I won’t. It’s not my mission and it’s not hers either.

Lara will be leaving, and I will be staying.

But God, I want to.

I need to talk to Lara more about the past. About why I had to keep running.

Or maybe it’s best not to say. Maybe it’s best just to move on from where we are. From who we are now, instead of clinging to the version of us I can’t have.

But it kills to be this close to her and yet so far away.

It was never like this back in those days. The best days of my life were the ones I spent chasing her around, watching her. I wouldhave been her bodyguard, and more, forever. But that’s not what God had planned for me.

Anton snorts beside me, yanking me out of the spiral. “You’re telling me you’re not feral?”

I crack my neck, trying to reset something in my spine. “We’ve got work to do.”

He stands and downs his coffee from the mug then snatches up his to-go cup. “So you’re going to ask her today?”

“Maybe.”

“Or maybe you’ll wait until she’s in deeper than she already is.”

I don’t answer.

Because she’s not just in deep.

She’s already drowning, and if I don’t get this right, I won’t just lose her.

I’ll be the reason she goes under.

9

After my post shower run-in,Gabriel made himself scarce. I’ll hand it to him, he isn’t trying to cramp my style. Annoyingly, my workday still consisted of many trips to the window to stare down at the top of his truck.

I couldn’t get him off my mind.

But I’ve thought about myself, too. I avoided those eyes of his and any close contact for years just to stay safe from falling for him again. I thought the distance would change things, and time… like everyone always promises. But now that we’re a team again, it doesn’t feel dangerous, like I’m out in the open waiting to be taken down by a sniper, it feels like I’m wandering onto fertile soil, tapping into that root system again.

But isn’t that why I left Starlight Canyon in the first place? To not have people worry about me and to be fiercely independent and make mistakes that don’t make my loved ones freak out?

But it’s not like becoming friends again would stop me from leaving… right? If this financial stuff at Scarlet Hope turns out to be fraud, I’ll have no choice but to leave here. I’ll have to go where the next job takes me. A girl like me can’t afford a day without health insurance. My meds cost an arm and a leg.

I grab my Stanley cup from the coffee table holding up my feet and sip away the dry melancholy in my throat.

It doesn’t feel right that Gabriel and I can’t be connected. But the right thing doesn’t always feel good.

I’d know better than anyone.