Page 59 of Guarded Knight

Her delicate hand slips past the waistband, and the world fractures.

My balls tighten, my body jolts… too fast, too hard, unstoppable. My eyes slam shut, my forehead drops to hers, and I shudder violently, trying to hold back the release that tears through me.

Her hand stays knotted in my shirt, not pushing me away, not pulling me closer, just holding me in the wreckage, and she keeps her hand on the outside of my boxer briefs until I’ve released every last drop.

And then the world slams back.

The dust of the barn. The whicker of a horse.

I force myself to lean back just enough to see her flushed face and wide eyes, lips swollen and bitten from my kiss. She’s beautiful, ruined, perfect. And I’m wrecked.

Because this is what I’ve wanted for years, and it’s also the one thing I can’t have.

She pulls her hand from my pants with a wicked little grin, but her smile falters when she sees my eyes. I know Lara uses humor to get through heavy situations but I can’t this time. My heart is still floating somewhere outside my chest while it was trying to get closer to her.

I press my lips to the top of her head, just needing to hold her, even though I know it’s wrong. “That was…”

She rolls her eyes, the corner of her mouth quirking with another attempt to ease the blow with humor. “Wait until I leak this story to theEcho Valley Gazette.”

I should laugh. I should let her make it easy. But my ribs are splitting open, my chest hollowed by everything I can’t say.

But the truth claws its way out anyway, ragged and raw. “You have that effect on me, Firefly. Being with you is something between losing my mind and finding my soul.”

Her breath falters, lips parting like she’s on the edge of something fragile and dangerous—something that could unmake me if she said it.

“G!” Anton’s voice cuts through the barn.

We break apart like teenagers caught, scrambling. I yank my belt closed, she smooths her hair.

Anton leans on the doorframe; his look says everything. He knows and he’ll never let me forget it.

“Your dad said the food’s getting cold.”

I nod tightly. “Be right there.”

Lara shoves her hands in her back pockets, chin tipped up in defiance, like nothing just happened. “Let’s go. Luis worked too hard on the meal.”

She skips out ahead of me, confident, untouchable. Maybe she means it. Probably she’s faking. I can’t tell but now I’m left without her truth. Without knowing what she thought of my confession. Without any clue where to take this mess next.

All I know is I crossed a line. Brother’s best friend to something far worse. Protector to predator.

And God help me—because I don’t know if I’ll ever want to find my way back.

16

That afternoon,I played it cool, even though from Gabriel’s expression he was feeling anything but after the barn.

…Being with you is something between losing my mind and finding my soul.

Every wall I built, every line in the sand drawn, disappears because my world tipped upside down. Every intention of leaving here, every need to make space between us, evaporated.

Which was exactly why after the party died down, I excused myself as tired and boarded myself back up in Gabriel’s room for the night.

But I didn’t sleep. I tossed one way, wondering if maybe we should give things a try, the other thinking that we could try friendship only to roll over and over like a twisting tornado with the thought of his lips on mine.

His hands.

His thick cock…