Page 111 of Guarded Knight

“Maybe,” I say reflectively, “it’s not all about protecting them from bad but knowing that the good is worth all the rest. Hannah thought the world of you. She wouldn’t have traded anything for you. Demons and all.”

Xander stares out at the girls and yet somehow through them, maybe all the way to the past. “You could be good for her. You’re steady. When you choose to be.”

I glance at him.Could.

“But good doesn’t always mean safe,” he adds. “You need to know what the hell you want. Because if you break her again…”He trails off, not because he doesn’t know what to say, but because he doesn’t trust himself to say it without consequence. “This isn’t a test drive. This is her life. And since those new meds, she’s finally starting to believe she might get to a future after many years of not knowing she’d even get this far.”

He clears his throat, that sharp cough he does when emotion rises too fast. I’ve only heard it twice, once when his Daisy was born and he was deployed, not getting more than a video call. I saw it when his wife died.

“She’s not going to be here forever, G, and the end won’t be pretty.”

I’ve seen it in her coughing fits, her percussion vest sessions, and her hospitalizations. I’m not afraid to face it with her, to be her comfort, the arms that hold her no matter how ugly it gets.

He presses on. “She deserves to live a whole lifetime. She might do that now. I really believe with these meds she’s got another twenty years, and a person can do a lot with twenty years. I want her to have it all but I’m not sure she believes anyone thinks she’s worth the twisted end.” He scrubs his hand down his face. “I told her Hannah was worth every second. But she doesn’t need to hear about worth from me.”

His eyes lock on mine. “I won’t recover from you hurting her again. You’re not just some guy to her. You’re the one she used to sneak phone calls for after lights out. The one she wrote that dumb-ass poem about sophomore year. You were always there, even when you weren’t. Like a heartbeat she didn’t notice until it stopped.” He hesitates. “She’ll never say it, but you’re the one.”

And she’s always been mine.

I’ll have to learn more than to just stop running. I’ll have to learn to be raw and real in a way I’ve never been before.

He leans his arms on the top rail, boots dug in, watching the girls run wild through the field. Daisy is patting old Hector’s muzzle, but she keeps glancing over at Theo.

I exhale slowly, watching Lara from across the paddock making daisy chains with Poppy, and suddenly Daisy sprints toward Theo and pokes him between the shoulder blades. He turns around with the exasperated energy of an old man disrupted.

Xander finally pushes off the fence and reaches for the gate latch.

Before either of us can say another word, gravel crunches behind us. I glance over my shoulder, and Freya and Anton come briskly up the path, side by side, both of them serious.

Freya lifts a hand in greeting. “Sorry to interrupt.”

It’s all-systems-go time. For as many times I was wary about Freya, I’m glad to see her taking agency. I want to solve this all for Lara’s sake, but now, also for Freya.

For their friendship. Now, with Xander here, it reminds me how essential these bonds are to life.

Anton skips the niceties. “We’ve got something.”

Xander closes the gate again. “What kind of something? I can’t fucking believe it was her boss the whole time. Are you sure?”

I’ve been keeping Xander up to date with details as they’ve shifted. This isn’t all news to him.

Freya’s eyes find Lara, who’s still crouched in the grass, laughing threading wildflowers into Daisy’s braid.

“Lara’s not wrong to be worried about Kevin. If that is even his name.”

Anton crosses his arms. “Rio pulled some records this morning, stuff tied to old nonprofits. Kevin’s and Belinda’s names came up. Different aliases, different boards. I’m sure Kevin knows Lara found a thread that could unravel everything. Rio said there would be a lot more work to do to take this to the authorities, but… it seems logical that with this much jail time on the line, he’d want Lara out of the picture.”

A tight pressure coils low in my gut.

“So he stalked her instead of firing her?” Xander asks.

Freya shakes her head. “Without cause? Let’s be real, Lara would have fought that tooth and nail and probably sued. Who wants lawyers poking around a bomb site?”

Anton nods toward where Lara is in the field. “We should get back to the office. Rio’s waiting. Let’s piece it together before he makes another move.”

Lara rises from the grass, brushing off her jeans. She turns, already sensing the shift in the air—Xander’s folded arms, Anton’s silence. Her eyes find mine.

The smile leaves her face, and something in my chest knots hard. We bought ourselves one night of normal, one morning of hope. It’s gone now.