Page 97 of Guarded Knight

“I feel the same when we’re together. But that’s what’s so dangerous about this whole thing. It’s… a bandage.”

“How do we know it’s not the cure? For both of us?”

Her skin is warm, her touch steady. Like she’s not afraid to hold me, even if I’m broken and if she catches the wrong edge, she might bleed. I never want to hurt her, and I’ve pushed everyone away for years.

“I don’t think either of us knows what this is,” she says. “But whatever it is… we’ve both admitted it isn’t a mistake.”

I nod once, because I can’t speak. My throat’s too tight.

She squeezes my hand. “We don’t need a label.”

I look down at our hands. Her fingers are curled into mine like they’ve always belonged there. I don’t answer because I don’t want to say I can’t handle the gray area. I don’t want to leave her without answers.

She understands my silence perfectly, as she always has.

“You never have been good with uncertainty.” Her smile is sad and sweet at the same time. “In that way, we are so different, Gabriel Mendez.”

“You’re my one sure thing, Firefly.”

She doesn’t flinch. Not even a flicker. Like she’s already factored in every sharp edge and decided I’m worth the risk. Her thumb strokes across my knuckles, steady, grounding.

“Then let me decide to protect myself if I need it. Freedom and peace and all the things you say I should have aren’t worth a damn if I don’t get to choose.”

She shifts, closing the space between us until her knee brushes mine. Her voice is softer now, almost playful. “You’re not protecting me by keeping your distance. You’re just punishing both of us.”

Not being near her feels like exactly that. Like I’m punishing myself, I just never thought it held the same weight for her.

“Grab the light.” She pats the bed next to her. “I want you here.”

I take off my jeans, leaving my t-shirt on, and switch off the light, and the warm yellow light is now replaced by a bath of moonlight. I crawl under the covers without asking twice, expecting us to sleep platonically, but she snuggles up to me and rests her head under my collarbone and over my racing heart.

She exhales, the sound feathering across my chest like she’s been holding it in all night. “See? Not so scary.”

I wrap my arm around her because there’s no way I’m not holding her tonight if that’s what she needs.

Who am I kidding?Ineed this.

I should be relieved. Grateful, even, that after succumbing to my greatest desire yesterday, she and I are still somehow… okay. Better than okay. I should be able to relax.

But now all I can feel is the pressure building in my chest.

Her fingers keep shifting, tiny movements against my ribs, like she’s grounding herself.

Or me.

She murmurs, “You said you weren’t uncertain about me.”

My breath catches. “I’m not.”

“So what the hell is stopping us?” she asks into the dark room, and it almost seems to ask it back.

“We talked about that.”

“I know, and it makes sense on paper, but it doesn’t make sense in my heart.” She tilts up her chin. Her breath is hot on my neck now, sending blood racing down to my groin.

“Does it make sense to you?”

I can’t lie. “Not at all.”