Page 81 of Guarded Knight

I glance at the front door. A question blooms in my mind, sharp and unwelcome.

What if Cameron comes armed?

Is he that desperate?

And if he got to me first, Gabriel would never forgive himself. The thought of G living with even more guilt and pain terrifies me even more than getting hurt. He’s so hard on himself.

Anton and Gabriel both swore I’d be safe. That the second he breaks in, he’s done. But none of that erases the part of me that wonders.

Will they actually get to him before he gets to me?

Like stormwater in a drain, my thoughts spin, spiraling tighter and tighter…

“Hey.” Gabriel tucks my hair behind my ear. “Come back to me.”

“All good,” I say, grabbing two bowls, blowing it off. All the talk in the world won’t change what happens tomorrow.

G makes ramen in my tiny kitchen, insists we eat in bed like college students. We watchSchitt’s Creekon my tablet. I snort so hard at something David says I almost choke on a noodle. Gabriel kisses the top of my head like he’s been doing it for years.

I laugh until my sides hurt, all the while knowing tomorrow could steal this from me. And maybe that’s why it feels so achingly beautiful tonight.

It’s the simplest night I’ve ever had with a man. A warm bed. A full belly. A protector who holds me like I’m something sacred, gives me things I once thought I’d never have.

And just when I think we’re drifting off, his hand slides between my thighs, slow and reverent. This time, we don’t have sex.

We make love.

The kind of love that makes you forget every reason you swore leaving was safer… and tempts you to stay anyway.

21

The sun’s barely up;a stripe of gold cuts through her window blinds. Lara’s wrapped in the sheets beside me, one bare leg tangled with mine, her face turned toward my chest like her body already decided I’m safe before her brain could catch up.

She’s snoring, and it shouldn’t be cute but it is. Loud, imperfect, human. And I love it. Not because I’m smitten, but because itmeans she’s still here. Still with me. And that’s more important than sleep.

But then the kind of stillness that makes everything louder in your head takes over.

This isn’t just a good night. This is a line crossed, a rule broken, a thousand consequences waiting just outside that bedroom door.

I wasn’t supposed to let her reach for me and I damn sure wasn’t supposed to reach back.

I wasn’t supposed to have sex with my best friend’s sister. No doubt I’ve had Xander on my shoulder throughout a lot of this. But there’s also my own agenda to finally stand still, focus on myself and not let Lara do anything but go out in the world to live her best life. My head says I should have resisted.

I don’t think Xander would have cared if I crossed the line way back when. Back then, Xander might’ve punched me, then shrugged, knowing I’d treat her right. But now? He guards her joy like it’s holy, and he wouldn’t want the man I am now, bleeding shadows, to be the one holding it in my hands.

The skin at the back of her neck is warm beneath my hand, and every few seconds she shifts in her sleep.

Last night, she let me in. Deeper than ever…Now I want to take someone with me.

Her uttering those words was the closest I’ve ever come to falling apart in someone else’s arms.

She said stay. You’re mine. I’m taking you everywhere with me. Even to the deep. Even to the dark. It wasn’t an I love you. It was something greater—forever without a beginning or end.

I press a kiss to her shoulder, just the barest brush of my lips. She shifts, letting out a soft hum that kills me a little.

I need to stop staring at her like this because I’m peering over the edge at something dangerous. Before, it was about her and me. Now, there are lies involved if I don’t tell her brother.

I told her last night she deserves better than to be a secret and I meant it. Even if my best friend will see me differently for it.