Page 109 of Guarded Knight

RIO

KEVIN AND BELINDA ALSO RUN THREE OTHER CHARITIES UNDER FAKE IDENTITIES. THIS WOULD BE SERIOUS TIME. ENOUGH TO WANT TO SILENCE LARA. GET BACK AS SOON AS YOU CAN TO MAKE A PLAN.

The coffee goes bitter in my mouth.

Xander’s watching us. Gabriel’s phone is lit up with evidence that Kevin is more dangerous than I ever imagined. And my own heart is pounding, reckless and traitorous, because Gabriel told my brother without words that I’m his.

I wanted more time before the world knew. Before Xander had an opinion. Before danger had teeth. But time’s up.

Gabriel and I don’t even know what we are yet, and already we’re standing in the open with a target painted on both our backs.

27

GettingRio’s text at Café Luna was a little like being in the middle of a hurricane when a tsunami hits.

This is a shitstorm from all directions.

We pay the bill as soon as the girls finish their muffins, and although my sense of urgency to get back to the family officestugs at my protective nature, Xander and I can’t leave this hanging.

He knows. I wasn’t ready to tell him, but I’m not treating Lara like a secret again. Not after how our past went down, not after how she was treated by Cameron… never. Not even if it means I’ll have to hear hard truths from my best friend’s mouth.

He knows I’m not marriage material. Hell, I’m not even stay-overnight material. He knows my struggles, my assignment to stay in one place, and my uncertainty at succeeding.

He won’t want any of that for Lara.

Xander claimed the girls wanted to see the horses, but we both know that’s not the real reason we’re back at Monarch Hills. It’s the only place he feels comfortable enough letting Lara out of our sight, even if only by a few feet.

Lara walks ahead with the girls, along the winding path upward toward the pastures where we head to our own family pasture. There are quite a few post and rail fields, but most of them are filled with Santi’s clients, four-legged pampered equines that could end up being worth millions. I’m proud of what my younger brother has achieved.

Sometimes I think about how I’m older and should have done more. He was a visionary for this entire family ranch and estate. Sure, we all worked together or encourage one another’s endeavors. Santi and I both contributed to GhostEye from the jobs we cobbled together. He had a few good runs at rodeos. I had several celebrity close protection clients that contributed a large chunk to all of this. I kept sending money back, never thinking I’d actually end up here. I just wanted my family to be secure.

But now that Lara unlatches the gate to our family pasture, not filled with thoroughbreds but rather appaloosas and quarter horses, it suddenly feels like home.

What would it be like to live here with her? To be with her fully? I’ve made a lot of progress in therapy… could I be enough? Could I keep my demons away from her in a place like this? Would she be happy back in a meddlesome small town? All those questions circle around my chest, and I sure as hell wish Lara and I had discussed some of the answers before I have to talk about them with Xander.

Xander and I drape our forearms over the top rail and let Lara wander deeper into the paddock with Poppy and Daisy. We watch in silence for a while. Listening to the girls argue over which horse is cuter. Lara’s blonde hair shines in the sun, loose and low, swinging against her shoulder blades as she glances back now and then. Just enough to let me know she knows we’re talking. Just enough to undo me.

Santi, Kat, and Kat’s son, Theo, are already in there, clearing the pasture. Theo tips his gaze up from his rake and scoop and eyes the girls suspiciously, probably hoping they don’t try to talk to him. He’s a man of few words, Theo, but he’s been through a lot. I’m glad he’s landed here. Santi will never let those two down.

The pastoral bliss can only last so long, though, and eventually, Xander slips his hands into his pockets and squints out toward the fence line, deep in thought.

“Just give me a yes or a no.”

I wish it was that easy. My heart says yes and my head says… am I being greedy? Am I taking from Lara without knowing what I can give? Fuck, it’s too late now… forget my head and heart.My soul decided it was her long ago. There’s no way I’m walking away again.

But how will that affect this? Me and Xander?

“You’re with her, aren’t you?” He reiterates the question as if I didn’t understand the first time, or because he’s impatient for an answer.

“Yes.”

He meets my eyes, and a dry laugh leaves his mouth. “What’d you do, climb down a drainpipe this morning?”

“When you say it that way, it sounds stupid.” I try to lighten the mood, out of habit more than desire.

I would have preferred to give Lara and me a chance to figure things out before the inevitable big-brother interrogation. But waiting would’ve made it worse. If he thought we were hiding it, it wouldn’t be just about me and her anymore. It’d be about my best friend’s trust. And Xander doesn’t fuck around with that.

It’s also something neither Lara nor I could live without. It would kill us both. He is a rock in everyone’s life he touches. He’s a part of each of us separately but also us together.