Page 40 of Going Overboard

Brody and I walk arm in arm down the candlelit path that winds through the hotel’s gardens. This time, it’s not a show, we’re not talking strategy, not trying to convince anyone we’re in love. It’s not for anyone else’s benefit. This time it’s all real.

The resort is unreal. A grand old villa right by the sea with a series of smaller villas dotted around in the grounds. It’s a dream place to get married, that’s for sure, like something out of a movie.

As we step through the arched entrance of the restaurant, I hover for a moment, taking it all in.

Tables are dressed with green, white and red tablecloths, glass lanterns on each table, and then there is the old olive tree that is growing around the place, almost like it’s hugging the room and everyone in it.

Brody pulls out my chair for me when we reach the table, joining our friends – well, the ones we’re actually friends with. It’s a small gesture, but my chest flutters all the same.

‘You two all good?’ Kelsey asks, watching us with a smile that stretches from one ear to the other.

I think I have a grin to match.

‘We really are,’ I say, and I mean it .

Neil glances around.

‘It might just be the six of us tonight,’ he says. ‘We haven’t heard from Todd or Nikki.’

‘Good,’ Kelsey replies. ‘The way she behaved? Disgusting. I don’t want that around my wedding.’

Al shrugs.

‘I’m a lover, not a fighter, but… yeah. Maybe best they stay away,’ he says.

It’s a good job he’s a lover, not a fighter, because he’s the strongest man I’ve ever met, he could kill you just by staring at you too hard. To be honest, I’d be scared to let him love me, he’s that much of a giant.

‘No one is fighting you, babe,’ Kira tells him.

‘I could take you,’ Brody jokes.

‘You could, pal, because I love you too much to hit you,’ Al replies.

‘Whereas I would put you on your back,’ Neil says, scowling playfully.

‘It’s not actually so bad when he does that,’ Kelsey jokes.

We’re all laughing until a voice interrupts us.

‘Sorry we’re late,’ I hear Nikki’s voice from behind me.

We all turn and… wow.

‘Oh my, Nikki. You look…’ Kelsey’s voice trails off.

Nikki is dressed like she’s about to walk the red carpet at the Oscars, not eat dinner with her friends.

A glitzy low-cut dress. Sky-high heels. Hair curled to perfection.

Make-up bold and bright. She’s definitely trying to send a message, I’m just not sure what it is.

Maybe she’s trying to show Brody what he’s missing, not that he’s looking at her.

Todd is just behind her, looking sheepish and awkward in his linen shirt. But he’s here. I was hoping they wouldn’t come – I think we all were .

‘Evening,’ Todd mutters.

Kira’s the first to break the ice. ‘So, are you two excited? Big day tomorrow,’ she says to Kelsey and Neil.

Neil smiles. ‘Very,’ he replies. ‘Except this one is insisting we spend tonight apart. She says it’s tradition.’

‘It’s a bit late to be old-fashioned now, isn’t it?’ Nikki chimes in.

Kelsey pulls a face but doesn’t rise to it.

‘I think people will love the food,’ she tells us. ‘It’s authentically Italian.’

Nikki scoffs. Honestly, what is her problem?

Kelsey turns to her. ‘What now?’ she asks.

Brody slides his hand into mine under the table. He doesn’t say anything, just squeezes gently. Reassuring. I appreciate it, but I’m not too worried – mostly because there’s no pool here, so Nikki can’t hurt me.

‘Authenticity matters,’ Nikki says. ‘Not everyone around here is authentic though.’

Kelsey keeps her smile firmly in place.

‘I love everyone here, and that’s what matters to me,’ she tells her.

Nikki sits forward in her seat, like she’s gearing up to say something else.

‘Whatever you’re getting at, Nikki, just let it go,’ Brody tells her.

Presumably she’s talking about him.

‘Actually,’ Nikki says, leaning in, looking far too pleased with herself, ‘this is information you’ll want to hear – you especially, Brody.’

‘I doubt that,’ he replies.

‘But it’s about Jessa,’ she says. ‘She’s wanted you longer than she’s let on. ’

Brody and I exchange a look and a smile. She couldn’t be more right, could she? It’s like our own little in-joke.

‘You’re smiling now, but wait until you hear this,’ Nikki continues. ‘She – Jessa – told me to dump you.’

Okay, she’s got everyone’s attention now.

‘She told me to break up with you, Brody. She said you were supposed to be my partner, I wasn’t supposed to be your therapist, and that your commitment issues were your problem,’ she says.

‘And then she said, like her granny used to say: fuck around, find out. Meaning if you’re going to mess me around, then I should show you the consequences. Dump you.’

‘That is your line, Jessa,’ Todd points out. ‘That’s your joke.’

‘Okay, but we all heard her say it the other day,’ Kelsey reminds everyone.

‘Yeah, but look at her face,’ Nikki replies. ‘It’s got guilt written all over it. And someone is clearly tipping the press off…’

I do feel flushed. Well, it’s true, isn’t it? I did say that. I didn’t know I was talking about Brody at the time – I didn’t even know who Brody was – because we were in the toilets. She’s spinning it to try to make me look bad. And it certainly isn’t me tipping the press off.

I don’t want to lie, obviously, because that would only make me look worse. But if I’m going down, she’s coming with me. Todd too.

‘You were the one saying you wanted to dump him, and now I have all the facts, I know that you were saying it because you’d met someone else,’ I reply. ‘And I know it was Todd because right after we spoke you went to find him, and you told him to dump me, so that you could have him.’

There’s a voice in the back of my mind that says this sounds a little bit like we’re fighting over Todd and that seriously gives me the ick, because Todd is really not worth fighting over .

It seems like we’re attracting a bit of a crowd, our raised voices catching people’s attention. Typical loud English people abroad, ruining the ambience for everyone.

‘The two of you were so, so obviously cheating on us,’ I say. ‘It’s so bloody obvious.’

Brody pulls his hand away from mine, and maybe it isn’t, but it feels fast and tense. It isn’t violent, but it stings all the same. It feels like rejection. Like I’ve gone too far.

‘I need to get some air,’ he says. ‘You guys have dinner without me.’

I’m about to go after him, because I need to explain, to tell him that I didn’t know the random girl crying over her boyfriend in the toilet cubicle next to me was his girlfriend, when I notice Nikki smirking, delighted to have scared him away from me.

‘Why are you so determined to take every man I like?’ I ask her.

‘Erm, you took him from me,’ she snaps back.

‘I didn’t even know it was you, for fuck’s sake,’ I reply. ‘Not until I heard your stupid yodel cry again the other day.’

‘I don’t have a stupid yodel cry, do I?’ she asks the table.

The silence speaks volumes.

‘I need to go after him,’ I say, standing up, my voice catching in my throat because I know that I should have done so right away, I just had to stay and get the last word, didn’t I?

‘Do you want me to come with you?’ Kelsey asks, gently.

‘No, no, I’m fine,’ I insist. ‘You guys enjoy your dinner. We’ll catch up later.’

I walk away before my tears can betray me, before I say something that makes this bad situation even worse.

I head back toward the room, hoping maybe Brody’s there, but the door is locked and he has the only key card.

I try knocking but there’s no reply, so either he’s not in there, or he knows it’s me .

My chest aches. I can’t believe Nikki has done this, bringing it up in a last-ditch attempt to throw a grenade into my and Brody’s budding relationship.

I’m worried it’s dead in the water now. Maybe I have gone about this all wrong, maybe I should have come clean when I realised it was Nikki I spoke to in the toilets back then, or when I realised she was bringing it up today, or maybe I should have kept a dignified silence.

I don’t know what I should have done, I just know that it’s not this.

I shouldn’t have let Brody out of my sight because without him being here I can’t explain, and the version of events in his head will be pieced together from bits of information from all of us.

It needs to come from me, but for that I need to find him first.

I’ll go for a walk around the grounds, have a look for him, he’s got to be around here somewhere.

Plus, he’s the best man at the wedding tomorrow, and I know he won’t miss that.

I just need to speak to him before it’s too late.

It’s not too late… is it?