Page 31 of Going Overboard

I’m about to sit down when my emotions get the better of me. I know, Brody and I are rubbing it in their faces a bit, but only in retaliation. But the two of them are supposed to be happy. And yet Nikki just seems to get off on embarrassing me.

‘I’m feeling pretty tired, I think I might go to bed,’ I tell the others, raising my voice over Nikki’s warbling.

‘Are you sure?’ Kelsey replies, sensing something is up.

‘Do you want me to come with you?’ Brody asks.

‘No, no, I’m all good, you guys have a good time, I’m just shattered – I think it’s the sea air, or the early mornings in the gym, or both,’ I insist. ‘I’ll see you guys later.’

I leave and I don’t look back – and I pick up the pace, because Nikki’s voice is like nails on a chalkboard.

What is wrong with her? Why does she have to be so mean?

She took my boyfriend from me – and with him, as corny as it sounds, my hopes and dreams, because I factored Todd into the rest of my life, and I just can’t picture what it looks like without him, as much as I want to.

It’s just going to take time to figure that out, I guess.

Perhaps that’s why I’m so happy here, in the delusion, having fun, playing make-believe.

I step outside briefly, on to one of the decks, to get some fresh air. I suck it in and puff it out, trying to clear my mind, and flush out my emotions, because the urge to cry is creeping up on me.

‘Hey,’ a voice calls out from behind me.

Speaking of creeping up…

I jump but it’s just Brody. I’m glad it’s him.

‘Are you okay?’ he asks me.

‘Probably not,’ I reply. ‘But I will be. Has Nikki always been so mean?’

‘I didn’t notice it at first but, yeah, it was coming through thick and fast in the end,’ he replies. ‘I know it’s not nice, or fair, and it’s hard, but try to ignore her. She wants to get a rise out of you.’

‘I know, I shouldn’t have stormed out, but I was getting emotional,’ I confess.

‘Well, don’t worry, because I made them all think we had a plan to sneak off early, to get an early night,’ he replies with a smile. ‘Come on, let me walk you back.’

‘My hero – again,’ I tell him. ‘Thanks.’

‘We’re in the same boat,’ he says, laughing at his own joke. ‘I’ve got my iPad with me, I’ve got Netflix – want to watch something together?’ he asks.

‘I’d love that,’ I reply. ‘My kind of early night.’

‘Anything you fancy watching?’

‘I love It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia ,’ I reply. ‘Have you seen it?’

‘Only all the way through maybe ten times,’ he says. ‘Maybe we could pick our favourite episodes for each other?’

‘I’d really, really love that,’ I reply.

Back in the suite, we both climb into bed like it’s the most normal thing in the world to watch TV together and it’s so nice. We laugh together, quote lines together – and even more amazingly, we have the same favourite episode.

After a few episodes and a lot of laughter, he yawns and stretches.

‘It’s your turn in the bath,’ he says, giving me a faux-pitying look.

‘Ugh, I had somehow forgotten about that,’ I reply. ‘It’s not nice, is it?’

‘Nope,’ he replies. ‘Tell you what, you’ve had a bad night – how about we trade, and I take the bath tonight?’

‘I’ve had a great night,’ I correct him. ‘And, thanks for the offer, but that’s not fair on you. I’ll be fine.’

‘I don’t mind,’ he insists.

‘I’m not stealing the bed from you…’

‘Then don’t steal it from me, share it with me,’ he suggests. ‘We’re in it together, right now, and it’s not awkward. Plus, it can’t be weird when we’re sleeping, can it? How would we know, we’ll be asleep…’

I laugh.

‘Really? Are you sure?’ I check.

‘We’re boyfriend and girlfriend,’ he jokes. ‘It’s only natural.’

‘Well, if it’s for appearances,’ I reply. ‘Then it would be weird not to.’

After I get ready for bed, the sheets are cool when I slide under them, and they smell of Brody’s delicious aftershave – or maybe that’s him, the man in bed next to me.

He stretches out, so naturally, like he’s where he belongs – and I guess like I belong here too, because he seems so comfortable with me. I’m comfortable too, for the most part, but it’s hard to ignore how weirdly hot this is.

He’s shirtless, because of course he is. And I’m in the vest and pants that I sleep in – that cover more than my bikini does, and yet I feel so… naked.

‘Night night,’ he says softly, his voice almost tickling my ears, almost like I can feel the vibration through the bed.

‘Goodnight,’ I reply.

I want to say more, but I can’t get the words out. I’m nervous, not because I don’t want to be in here with him, but because I do.

He reaches over and flicks off the light. Darkness fills the room, only leaving room for silence.

I swear, the air changes. There’s a shift, it’s subtle, but I can feel it…

I lie still, on my back, staring up at the ceiling, wondering if he’s as wide awake as I am, if his mind is racing too… Wondering if he can feel the heat radiating between us.

He didn’t have to serenade me to make me laugh. He didn’t have to come find me when I left, upset. And he definitely didn’t have to let me sleep in the bed with him. And yet, here I am. Here we are.

I glance toward him in the dark. He’s facing me, I think. Or maybe just turned that way in his sleep.

It’s too dark to tell and I’m too nervous to ask.

I lie there for a little longer, letting the rhythm of his breath steady my own breathing, wondering what would happen if I just… reached out.

‘Thanks for being perfect tonight,’ I whisper.

I don’t know if he hears it. I don’t know if he’s already asleep or if I didn’t say it loud enough, but he shifts slightly closer, just enough for our bodies to brush.

It’s going to be a long night…